| A Mother-In-Law's Blues |
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Withal, she consistently displayed
the kindness one reads about in the lives of the saints. Universally revered as
the Mother of the Church, she was poised, sincere, and one of the most refined
individuals I have ever known. In the more than thirty years since the horrible
events in Jonestown, and despite her significant leadership role right up to
the end, she continues to be esteemed in the survivors’ community as the
individual we all wish had led us. Without doubt, the story of Peoples Temple
would have been one upon which we all could look back with pride, had she
exercised Jim’s authority.
One of her more understandably trying
relationships, and one which undoubtedly tested her capacity for restraint, was
that of prospective mother-in-law to Suzanne’s future husband. That’d be me.
Marceline Jones, the goddess mother of Peoples Temple was, alas, my
mother-in-law.
As I recall, my relationship with
Marci began to sour, for her, when it became clear I was to be her beloved
daughter’s persistent and dedicated suitor, and worse yet, husband. No matter
what my better qualities might have been, my missteps and faux pas were such
that destiny itself seemed to dictate they’d be viewed in their entirety by
her.
When I was 21 or so, Suzanne threw a party for a number of kids in
the Temple. Suzanne had said nothing about my little sister Patricia, but I
knew Suzanne disliked her for reasons beyond my ken. As I dressed for the
party, I explained to Patricia I could not invite her because I was afraid to
do so would displease Suzanne. Suzanne, by the way, had said nothing at all
about inviting Patricia. What a laugh. Here I was the supposed reincarnation of
Leon Trotsky, the leonine Russian revolutionary, yet I was unwilling to stand
up to my fiancée, or rather my own fears of her reaction about so small a
matter.
Coincidentally, Marceline dropped by the house shortly after I
left, found Patricia sobbing and promptly brought her to the party. Marceline
pulled me aside and privately berated me for my craven behavior. To this day, I
admire and thank her for showing me with perfect clarity how cowardly a little
lion I could be. She gave me the opportunity to initiate my first conscious
effort to improve my flawed character. I sincerely apologized to Patricia and,
thereafter, made certain she was included in each and every event in which I
was involved. Patricia was quick to forgive and forget; Suzanne was dumbfounded
by it all. Nevertheless, the stage was set.
One Monday morning at the
Temple dorm in Santa Rosa, as I dressed for college, I reached into my pants’
pocket only to find Marci’s keys. I only then recalled she’d loaned me her keys
during the weekend to move her car. With a sense of dread as great as any I’ve
known, I drove the 70 miles back to Redwood Valley at race speeds to return
those keys before, I prayed, she learned they were missing. Screeching to a
halt in front of the parsonage, I saw her anxiously searching the car. I didn’t
need psychic insight to intuit she’d learned her keys had gone missing. Any
doubt I might have had evaporated when I handed them to her, only to learn she
was late for an appointment with some high ranking State official. It seemed
I’d taken her only set of keys. You had to hand it to me, I thought, I had a
knack for living up to her worst expectations.
It wasn’t simply that I made mistakes
on my own. No matter who was engaged in troubling behavior, I’d somehow find
myself in their company. Her despairing glance on such occasions made it clear
the antics of the others did not conceal my own conduct.
None of this seemed to have escaped Jim’s notice. In one of his
more empathetic moments, he put his arm around my shoulder and observed, “Son,
you’ve got Marceline on your ass. I don’t envy you.”
After reading Stephan’s account of
Marceline’s discovering Jim’s infidelity with Carolyn, I’ve come to believe
that Jim himself may have darkened my relationship with Marceline. As he later
told me, on the evening he revealed his relationship with Carolyn to Marci, he
explained to her that I’d done some reading on the Russian revolution and
pointed out to him Lenin’s relationship with Inessa Armand, Lenin’s long-term
mistress. Of course, given Inessa’s reincarnation as Carolyn, what could he do
but continue this relationship with his revolutionary soul mate. From this
remove, all I can say is: Thanks, pal. Lesson learned!!
When
Suzanne and I told her mother of our upcoming marriage, I watched with awe as
Marceline displayed practiced calm. She smiled and hugged her much loved
daughter. To her great credit, Marceline glanced at me with kindness. However,
even with her remarkable self-control, she could not hide her deep concern that
our prospective union foretold years of calamitous entanglements. Great lady that
she was, she bit her lip and said nothing of her fears (at least within my
hearing).
Once I was in law school,
and Suzanne and I were married and living independently, Marceline put as good
a face as possible on this unwelcome outcome and, deferring to fate, accepted
me warmly. We interacted only occasionally simply because our paths rarely
converged. She was for me, as indeed she was for most members, a somewhat
remote if caring and overarching mother figure.
I last met with Marci
several months after I left the church. Although I left because I was
miserable, I continued to feel as if my leaving were simply a matter of my own
weakness. As time passed, thanks to the concern and friendship bestowed by
other apostates, I came to a clearer understanding of the paranoid reality
created by Jim and the danger confronting my friends and family. I went to the
San Francisco Temple to speak with my family over the radio-telephone. When my
disaffection became clear, Jim – at the other end of the line in Jonestown –
exploded in a trademark diatribe. Those in the room with me became visibly
hostile. Thankfully, Marceline, who was also there, relieved this stand-off by
asking me to join her in Jim’s apartment and to speak with her about my
disillusionment. She was, as always, gracious. Ours was a friendly, if candid,
discussion, which ended on far better terms than I’d thought possible. That I
left with my hide in one piece is a tribute to Marceline’s tactfulness.
As Stephan’s eloquent
reflection infers, his mother was, perhaps, Jim’s most important enabler, his
sine qua non. Though she had long since been passed over for Jim’s love and
regard, she certainly held the respect of the Temple as a whole. Had she taken
any of a number of steps, she may have shaken his authority sufficiently to
have prevented the events of November 18, 1978.
Yet who among us can
stand in judgment. I believe she genuinely, and perhaps reasonably under
enormously difficult circumstances, saw that to protect the Jonestown community
from Jim’s worst predations, she had to make a Faustian compromise of her own.
Though she was mistaken,
I have no doubt she died with the fierce conviction that her death was an
appropriate sacrifice. Marceline Jones continues to hold a place of honor in my
own pantheon of heroes. I only hope I may meet my fate with the same courage.
(Mike Cartmell is a frequent contributor to the jonestown report. His previous writings appear here. He may be reached at Beemermcart@aol.com.)
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