{"id":30818,"date":"2013-07-25T15:49:36","date_gmt":"2013-07-25T15:49:36","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/alternativejonestown.com\/?page_id=30818"},"modified":"2018-10-04T15:47:21","modified_gmt":"2018-10-04T22:47:21","slug":"howard","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/jonestown.sdsu.edu\/?page_id=30818","title":{"rendered":"A Good Night’s Sleep"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a>On November 18, 2008, I awoke from a good night\u2019s sleep, feeling great! Fantastic! Joyous! I had had no nightmares about my Aunt Pearl. I didn\u2019t spend the evening avoiding\/glued to news specials showing bloated decaying bodies, looking again \u2013 as I had in previous years \u2013 for any trace of her lying in the field, for any footage showing the lively crowd hours before the massacre. I had no feelings of dread.<\/p>\n

This is because two nights before, I sat in a room filled with Temple survivors and family members who gathered to take part in an incredible healing and to view three panels listing the names of everyone who died in Jonestown, all 918 of them.<\/p>\n

The evening was more than I envisioned. It was an intimate private setting, reminiscent of months earlier, when I placed Aunt Pearl\u2019s headstone onto her previously-unmarked grave in Monroe, Louisiana. The ceremony in San Francisco \u2013 once the headquarters of Peoples Temple \u2013 concluded two months of heavy lobbying of city council members, county supervisors, mayors, and U.S. Senators and Representatives, followed by finding a location for the memorial. My mind swirled with ideas about how to stay focused on the task, not on such questions as whose name should be on the memorial and whose should not. The latter always received the same response: \u201cGod will make the decision.\u201d<\/p>\n

God\u2019s decision is greater than mine. I prayed, setting aside personal feelings and allowing Him to intercede, eventually opening my mind and heart for the ultimate forgiveness. The decision would anger, confuse and spark debate, prompting the loss of potential friends and rebuffing of acquaintances and family. I believe He will heal those wounds. It was He who opened my eyes to see everyone was a victim, from the shooters at Port Kaituma to the armed guards surrounding the pavilion, from those who injected my aunt to others who didn\u2019t embrace the idea of suicide. Clearing my heart and soul makes it possible for me<\/em> to heal and, most importantly, to forgive. My goals have been accomplished \u2013 Aunt Pearl is able to rest in peace \u2013 but in doing so, I had to be me, doing what was best for me to heal. The joy in helping families see the recognition fitting of dignitaries for our loved ones, who have been mocked, ignored and dismissed, makes me happy.<\/p>\n

My journey began as an effort to learn about my aunt\u2019s life in Peoples Temple. It inadvertently created a path to allow me to escape my hidden horror, to find a voice to speak up for myself and others who feel helpless, to ensure changes for the betterment of humans in life and death, and to cultivate relationships with political figures and persuade them to open their eyes to problems within communities they service.<\/p>\n

Two years ago, I established a website containing information about Peoples Temple, a group I had despised! And in 2008 I sat in a room honoring my aunt and her fellow victims in Jonestown.<\/p>\n

November 18th will always be a painful day, but now there is a different feeling, one which brings smiles and memories of an evening of love, for it was in 2008, thirty years after the horror, that good vibrations filled the air with the unveiling of the memorial.<\/p>\n

San Francisco was just the beginning. My goal is to have a memorial in every state. It\u2019s a big task \u2013 yes! \u2013 but I know God will make a way.<\/p>\n

(Lela Howard is a frequent contributor to <\/em>the jonestown report. Her previous writings appear here<\/a>. She\u00a0 can be reached at lelavhoward@gmail.com<\/a>.)<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

On November 18, 2008, I awoke from a good night\u2019s sleep, feeling great! Fantastic! Joyous! I had had no nightmares about my Aunt Pearl. I didn\u2019t spend the evening avoiding\/glued to news specials showing bloated decaying bodies, looking again \u2013 as I had in previous years \u2013 for any trace of her lying in the […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":6,"featured_media":0,"parent":30920,"menu_order":6,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"class_list":["post-30818","page","type-page","status-publish","hentry"],"acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/jonestown.sdsu.edu\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/30818","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/jonestown.sdsu.edu\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/jonestown.sdsu.edu\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/page"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jonestown.sdsu.edu\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/6"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jonestown.sdsu.edu\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=30818"}],"version-history":[{"count":12,"href":"https:\/\/jonestown.sdsu.edu\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/30818\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":82343,"href":"https:\/\/jonestown.sdsu.edu\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/30818\/revisions\/82343"}],"up":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jonestown.sdsu.edu\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/30920"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/jonestown.sdsu.edu\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=30818"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}