{"id":81256,"date":"2018-09-25T11:06:28","date_gmt":"2018-09-25T18:06:28","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/jonestown.sdsu.edu\/?page_id=81256"},"modified":"2021-07-24T14:47:00","modified_gmt":"2021-07-24T21:47:00","slug":"moving-on-forty-years-later","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/jonestown.sdsu.edu\/?page_id=81256","title":{"rendered":"Moving on Forty Years Later"},"content":{"rendered":"
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Claire Janaro and Kaluga, a rescued dog, in Ranch vineyard, Redwood Valley<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

It\u2019s hard to believe that it has been 40 years since the deaths in Guyana. Time has made it seem distant, though memories of family and friends lost will always be painfully near. When it does come to mind, I feel a deep sadness. But I also remember smiles: young and old, bright and vibrant, shy and quiet, trusting and loving. And we all hoped to bring on a better world.<\/p>\n

I was in Peoples Temple (PT) for ten years, a comparatively short time in my life, but it seemed like forever. My experiences in PT come from my life in Redwood Valley, Ukiah and San Francisco, before everyone moved to Jonestown (JT). I was a Temple member but still living in Redwood Valley in November 1978. I had spent several summers in JT as it began, but was never there once all the people and Jim arrived. I knew JT from its pioneer days, when 20 to 60 people were there, all focused on creating an Eden. I never saw the overcrowding, limited food, isolation, speakers sounding at all hours, and everything else that marked its demise.<\/p>\n

I realize now that many, if not most, of the 1000 people who went down were unprepared to adapt to a jungle home. Most moved to Guyana for the promise of a better life. But it ended in a horror when our trust was betrayed by a leader lost in his own problems.<\/p>\n

So, then and now, what did I find as a survivor of PT?<\/p>\n

Then, 1978: I had to \u201cbring myself back to life\u201d in US society. Many people tried to help us, but no one knew what to do or say. We were all pretty much on our own. I was fortunate to have a good job, work place support, and a nurturing family. I continued on working as a teacher, eventually settling in San Diego.<\/p>\n

Now, in 2018, after so many years, thoughts about PT are diminished, mingled with more current problems of retirement and aging.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

27 Years Afterwards<\/strong><\/p>\n

In 2005, after many years of withdrawal and little contact with PT survivors \u2013 I talked with Claire and Richard Janaro; Claire was always a source of news about survivors \u2013 I found the Alternative Considerations website. I met its managers, Rebecca Moore and Fielding McGehee (better known as Mac), and connected with Temple survivors in San Diego. At Claire\u2019s nudging, I saw Leigh Fondakowski\u2019s play The People\u2019s Temple<\/em> and reconnected to more memories and survivors. I was overwhelmed with the warm feeling of community we had had, the closeness and goodness that I now always find with other survivors.<\/p>\n

Ironically, Jim Jones brought us together and got us to work together. We knew so much about each other, helping each other as needed with problems brought up and sorted out publicly. In sharing our lives, we had an empathy, an understanding of our weaknesses and strengths that taught us to work together.<\/p>\n

That sense of building together<\/em> is something I\u2019ll never forget. It showed us a better future was more than something you read about or waited for. It was something we could build and experience in the here and now; it was something we were making. I always welcome the sense of \u201ccoming home,\u201d of the hope and goodness we share when we gather.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

30 Years Afterwards<\/strong><\/p>\n

Through the website, I found the courage to look back into my Temple experience. I worked with Mac and helped document and research materials obtained though Freedom of Information. I came to answer some of the many questions I had, such as: why had I survived and not others? how could I trust myself to choose good things to do? how could something that seemed so good end so horribly? I realized that what we were trying to build \u2013 \u201ca better world\u201d \u2013 was a good thing; how we went about it was the problem. Our beliefs were sound, but unquestioning trust in one person to achieve it was not.<\/p>\n

Most importantly, PT was not Jim Jones but the people in it, their spirit and hopes and beliefs. PT was us<\/em>: the community we formed and still feel when we gather.<\/p>\n

Over the years, survivors have gathered on November 18th at Evergreen Cemetery to remember those who died. Groups of us have met at other times, not to try to rekindle PT, but to feel the sense of kinship and share how we were doing. We could talk of ourselves or PT or not, but we didn\u2019t have to explain ourselves. Having survived, we still support each other, just by our continuing on.<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

40 Years Afterwards<\/strong><\/p>\n

After 40 years now, I find myself thinking of PT to a much lesser extent. Thoughts and plans about retirement and other interests now mingle with concerns of aging. I find TV programming less interesting, with its emphasis on violence, with fewer comedy, documentary or positive thought-provoking shows. And the ads seem to take up more time than the shows! World politics and National issues are increasingly scattered and frightening.<\/p>\n

So, I wonder: Aside from the phrase \u201cdrinking the Kool-Aid,\u201d what has PT given the world? What should we learn from the existence of PT? Of what positive influence might PT be now? Interestingly, I have noticed several news articles likening our nation\u2019s current leader to Jim Jones. It\u2019s not so far-fetched and offers lessons to learn.<\/p>\n

What, then, can we learn?<\/p>\n

    \n
  1. Misplaced Trust. <\/strong>Question all our leaders. Trust needs to be reviewed, examined and questioned. Trust no leader exclusively. Ongoing examination will affirm or deny whether a leader should be trusted.<\/li>\n
  2. Fake News & Isolation. <\/strong>Question all news and media reports. Welcome all points of view and listen with care. The news heard in JT were written Jim Jones to isolate and cause fear and paranoia, characteristics of a fascist state; we should not repeat it.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    \u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

    Moving On<\/strong><\/p>\n

    I still remember many good moments. As a community we had problems, but we were kind, caring, hopeful, helpful, resourceful, and more. At least we were trying. Rather than tearing down what community we had, we believed in working together.<\/p>\n

    I will always miss our community and \u2013 in its absence \u2013 I miss everything we could have been.<\/p>\n

     <\/p>\n

    What are some of the positive things I remember about PT?<\/strong><\/p>\n

    Moments and ideas I remember that still make me smile or laugh include:<\/p>\n