Transcript prepared by Fielding M. McGehee III. If you use this material, please credit The Jonestown Institute. Thank you.
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Jones: (Conversational tone) This is my true nature at work. I like you, and I want to be relaxed with you. Shit, this is my true nature. I don’t like to fight with you. I don’t— I don’t like to see you hitting on each other. I love you very much.
Crowd: (Background noise)
Unidentified male voice: I think you ought to be able—
Jones: $3000? That’s a heavy drunk. Shit.
Crowd: Laughter
Jones: What’d you say?
Unidentified male voice: I think you ought to be able to do it more often, without people passing judgment.
Jones: If I got drunk more often, you’d all die, but not necessarily in the proper order.
Crowd: (Background noise)
Voice: That’s true.
Jones: No, I just chat with you. I love you all. I can’t think of a soul I don’t like tonight. That shows you what I’m really like down deep. I’m glad for the experience. (Pause) Excuse me, Stephan [Jones]. But in the future, when you give me that to lower my blood pressure, please be sure you don’t put on an empty stomach that hasn’t eaten all day.
Crowd: (Background noise, scattered) That’s right.
Jones: That’s kind of foolish — as anybody knows out there that’s drank — that’s a good way to get an instant drunk.
Crowd: (Background noise, scattered) That’s right.
Jones: Hmm?
Crowd: (Background noise, scattered) Right.
Jones: What did you say— what’d you say there, Diane?
Diane: You get sick, too.
Jones: You get sick? I ain’t got that yet. (Laughs)
Crowd: (Background noise)
Jones: Okay now. What the hell we’re going to do, if it’s a White Night and we aren’t (unintelligible word) what’re we going to do, we gonna commit revolutionary suicide — we got a few more minutes to discuss that — or are we going to go out and uh, start a, a fucking war? Which ones did you write up, that you think uh— I’m, I’m I’m— I’m saying I’m seeing cross-eyed, so I— but I still got my mind together. Which ones do you think should be trusted, which elite would you vote on, I’d like all of you to vote on your paper with who should be trusted to go back to take care of some of these sonsabitches that have tried to do all this— How many remember night and day? You ought to remember night and day what they’ve done.
Crowd: (Background noise)
Jones: What’ve they done? They tried to get Brian Bouquet in trouble for marrying a black woman, Tim Stoen and that bunch, (unintelligible word) all of them, all of them in it, they’re all together. How many all know the enemies? What’s the class enemies? How many know them? Who know them? You all know them?
Crowd: General assent
Jones: The ones in the open. (Pause) Grace Stoen, Tim Stoen, Walter Jones, Garry Lambrev, all the Mertles, all the Olivers, the Olivers, Liz Forman, Mickey Touchette, and Suzanne Jones is back there behind the scenes, you can bet your ass, my daughter, Mike Cartmell’s back there behind the scenes, too, because— the reason we know that — where’s— I usually look over there and expect to find Christine, where in the hell is she?
Low female voice: (Unintelligible)
Jones: You oughtn’t do that, Christine, what the fuck you move on me for tonight? I— I— I have to orientate myself and know where folk are (unintelligible word).
Low female voice: I’m here.
Jones: That’s good. Oh, I know you’re there, sweetheart, I love you. But she loves Mona, and so does Sandy, and I spent a lot of nights of guilt, and so does Ava and all this shit, and I’m pissed with them ‘cause Suzanne wouldn’t know to try to get in there and try to get Mona if she didn’t know what they were up to, by trying to block them from getting her in the court. And I still want to know attorneys— and I’m not that drunk— if there isn’t some goddamn way, in spite of hell, that we can’t sneak her out— you know how, by other measures, using other vehicles, if you follow me. And what’s the rerper— repercussions thereof? And I’m still not too drunk to remember tonight (pause), um, Mercy Perkins’ daughter up in Oregon, has she been told to move? She might get the privilege to stand down here and see— I, uh said— one sister told me today, said, two days here was worth dying for. That was sweet. I don’t know which one told me that. Two days here. How many feel that way?
Several voices of assent
Jones: How many feel like two days worth fi— was worth dying for?
Several voices of assent
Jones: I am seeing you back there, honey. May see two of you, but I see you. (Pause) I’ll tell you the truth. I’d like to give her a chance to be here— see the mind is going (voice winds down) on and on and on and on and on and on— but the question I just asked prior to that was, some solution to that situation with Mona. It should never have gone— like I told them in the first place, should never have gone to court— that’s what I told them in San Francisco. (Unintelligible word) should have followed my instruction, that should never have gone through the goddamn court, you should just picked her up and to— taken her. That’d been the solution to that.
Male voice in crowd: That’s right.
Jones: Everybody has to do things just, legal and proper. And she wasn’t alone. There were some others agreed with her too.
Voices: That’s right.
Jones: Fuck this. Fuck it. They never would have missed her. That system don’t give a shit about somebody that handicapped, and black, they don’t give a shit about them, we hadn’t brought her to our atten— their, their attention, I knew that from the beginning, shouldn’t have brought her to their attention. Now we got her to everybody’s attention. I’d like to know how to get her out of everybody’s attention.
Female voice in crowd: They told us we couldn’t do that, Dad— (unintelligible) but they’d have to have a lawyer and do it right—
Jones: I know, but they didn’t listen to me. They argued on it. I didn’t. I said from the beginning, you ought to try to bring her in here, ‘cause I brought somebody in here, I ain’t going to tell all my secrets, I ain’t that drunk.
Crowd: (Background noise)
Jones: All right. What else we got to get finished? We got to find out, what the hell happened with the Russians, with the Cubans today, and we got to find out what happened with the governmental leader in charge while [Guyana Prime Minister Forbes] Burnham’s in Russia. And fuck the attorney general, the son-of-a-bitch, they want to come here, they can get shot.
General crowd: Right.
Jones: I can take care of him anyway.
Crowd: Applause.
Jones: Fuck all the USA. I hope they come in here, goddamn ‘em, we’ll— we’ll let the whole world know on the short wave— (Pause) That’s interesting. We got any copy on that short wave at all? And as I said, I’m drunk. Is there any copy on that short wave, at all? Any copy? That’d be nice if they bl— had some way to block us off from all copy when the last time comes.
Crowd: (Background noise)
Male voice in crowd: We got the east coast.
Jones: You got the east coast. That’s good. That’s good. That’s something to consider. We want to have all our antennae set in opposite way than they expect us to go sometime too. If we can get another antenna, we got to get those goddamn radios in, and what else did I say we gotta get, we gotta get a P.A. system so we don’t fu— hold on— you chaps have done a good job, and I love you for holding this one P.A. system together, but this is silly-ass. Now let’s see what we can buy tomorrow in terms of a P.A. system. Without communications, you’re dead. So if you want to start any shit tonight, Father may be drunk and bleary-eyed, but he’s o-o-o-o-on the ball.
Crowd: Applause.
Jones: And my drunk’s about over. Unfortunately. (Pause) Ain’t that awful? How long did my drunk last? Fifteen minutes?
Crowd: Laughter
Jones: It’s eating on— it’s eating on the little bit of food that I put down there. The okra and the water’s mixing with it. What a shame. What a shame. Only I think that last part’s still about to hit me, so what, uh— what I remember, I took another dose, so where’s— (stmumbles over words) I’ll take a little more of that food. It’s a goddamn shame. Why can’t I get drunk tonight? ‘Cause it’s a White Night. Well, what if this wasn’t a White Night? Someone slip me a drink when it isn’t a White Night, will you, when it’s a nice peaceful night, and everybody— nobody’s— nobody’s shacking up with nobody, nobody’s raping any children, nobody’s stealing from nobody, and everybody went to bed early, get me drunk one night, so I can sleep. I don’t want no drunk. I just want to sleep, for Christ’s sakes. You can give me some sleeping pills so I could sleep one thorough night. One thorough night, and not wake up every minute and think you’ve been to sleep, and you look at the goddamn clock and you’ve been to sleep (draws out words) one mother fucking minute. It’s terrible. Don’t you agree with that?
Crowd: Murmurs assent.
Jones: You better agree with it. (Laughs) I’m just teasing you. Don’t give me that fudge. You all know I’m too heavy anyway. Shit. (Pause) Now that fudge, what is that, that sh— What you’d say over there, Renee [Gieg]?
Renee:— (unintelligible) sweet with alcohol.
Jones: Ah, Renee, you see I’m not so drunk I can’t recognize your voice behind the back even though it’s a low whisper. (Pause) I’m proud your husband’s made a swift change. That’s one of the things that keep me going. Is he still behaving?
Renee: Yes, Dad, thanks to you.
Jones: That’s good.
Renee: (Laughs)
Jones: (Pause while eating) He’s a fucking socialist, in other words.
Crowd: Laughter, low voices.
Renee:— (unintelligible) fucking—
Jones: Well, now that’s— that’s even more safe. He’s a non-fucking socialist. I’m proud of him. But if he’s a fucking socialist, I’d be glad. (Pause while eating) Shift your ass from left to right.
Crowd: Laughter
Jones: It’s hitting me— (Laughs) (unintelligible aside with male voice)— a little of that— you got 4000— they better have that fish on there. I want my people to eat, by God. They got that four thousand four hundred pounds of fish this time. When’s that boat coming? I want to know when that boat’s coming.
Low crowd noise, low conversation away from mike
Jones: If I— you see some of these folks, you can’t show I’m eating, ‘cause they think I don’t eat. They think I live on air.
Crowd: Murmurs
Jones: That’s the damn truth. I’m in a prison. You gripe because you can’t go here and there? (Pause) That’s right. (Pause) Something I heard today, something about Ron Talley not trusting me to go someplace? That’s not the truth. One of the fellows I counted the most for, some shit you said to Rob Gieg— I’ll tell anything I know tonight.
Crowd: Murmurs
Jones: (Makes sounds of flying) Shift your ass backwards.
Crowd: Laughter
Jones: Whole bunch of shit, but I just let it pass over— What the hell’d you say?
Ron: To Rob Gieg?
Jones: Now what’d you say? Why don’t you get your mouth off the— You’re a street man, and I could use you so much for socialism and I love you, what the fuck you do this shit for? You keep mouthing off.
Ron: I— I said I’d—
Jones: Where Rob— Where’s Rob at?
Unintelligible answer from crowd
Jones: At the piggery. Wouldn’t you know he’s at the piggery.
Unintelligible answer from crowd
Jones: I know, but call him and find out what it is, ‘cause I don’t want to ever indict a man with shit like this ‘cause I’m just half-drunk and I don’t want to m— say something that I don’t know what I’m talking about. He don’t have to come back. Just ask him what the hell— hell it was. (Pause) (Chastizing) You got big mouth, Ron. I can’t trust you fully until you get over your big mouth. When Jeff was asking you all those questions, didn’t you know he was testing you, when you give the answers, didn’t you think it? I’m— I’m testing you now, the ol’ boy may be drunk, but be careful. (Pause) When you reported him, didn’t you have (struggles for words) a half-assed fear that I would probably set him up to it?
Ron: Yes, I did.
Jones: Umm-hmm. But you didn’t think I’d set up Rob, did you?
Ron: No, I didn’t.
Jones: Well, I did. (Pause) (Tones turns harsh) You underestimate me, son, ‘cause I gotta count on the best from some of you. You’re a street man. Why can’t you appreciate a man like me? You been through every hell. Can’t you see the honesty and integrity and the strength and the courage and the complete loyalty? Shit, you people in the streets and the jails and the gangs when loyalty was the best— can’t you recognize me?
Woman in crowd: That’s right.
Ron: Yes, I— I don’t think I— I’m not grateful enough. If I— If I were grateful enough, I would never question anything, and I would— I’d just go along and do more than I’m doing now. I’m not grateful enough.
Jones: But man, yo— your options are over. I’m telling you this shit so you want the paper. Be sure to tell them on uh, WA6JV7 [short wave radio call letters], to read him the sh— paper. They’re after you, friend, and you showed high character. That’s why I— I’m disappointed, because I expected for the best out of you, when you knew Chris— he said you didn’t know he was in— there was any trouble with Chris Lewis. You must have known there was trouble with Chris Lewis, when you didn’t know what the trouble was, you didn’t know what you were in to or something like that. Now I may have it slightly off, but you must have known that there was trouble. It was your car registered to you, and Chris was doing something to the cause and it was a shootout. (Pause) Fucking racist police. You must have known. Maureen [Talley], Maureen, where’s Maureen? He had to know.
Ron: (unintelligible)
Different voices in crowd, unintelligible.
Ron: I didn’t know it was him—
Jones: Where is the relative, by God, yeah, where are they?
Woman voice: They’re all in the kitchen—
Jones: Oh, shit. That’s where the relatives are, and I know where one relative is. To my sadness— I don’t take any joy in it— she’s in a goddamn box. A bright mind in a fucking psychological box.
Long pause, crowd noise.
Jones: Rob told me a whole bunch of shit, and I want to get this shit straight. Does his wife know? Rob— where’s that pretty wife of Rob’s?
Unintelligible reply.
Jones: Huh?
Crowd noise.
Jones: He must have shared some information. (Pause) Why’d you do this, man? Why’d you— you must have known, you must have known that night you were in lots, in lots of trouble. Now the goddamn shit’s in so much trouble, you couldn’t go back to the United States if you wanted to. But he— but he said, he said, in all fairness, you didn’t talk like you wanted to go back to United States. But he said you said some goddamn cutting snide shit. You may some pretty cruel remarks.
Male voice: Dad, I— when he said that, I said I— I knew that, that that was the case, and I knew that, that uh, I could not go back. At the time it happened—
Jones: That’s not the issue, that’s not the issue. Hell, I’d hope you know that, but I want to prove it to you, you’re such a sp— skeptic and cynic and paranoid. (Sighs) I mean, you remember the night when we had Chris, he was all shot up, and we had him inside the— ‘cause he didn’t follow instructions again, he got his ass— he’d do things like he’s told, if he’d done things like he told, I would have lost a son.
Voice in crowd: That’s right.
Jones: But he was uh, hung up there, and he’d been, I don’t know, in a hell of a mess, and you went along and you weren’t even in the church, you were out there pushing things, you were taking, you were not, or whatever, you were, you were on the, on the habit. I guess. You were out there doing something. Or trying to get off the habit, on methadone, weren’t you. Yeah. Um, but I can’t imagine a man with character like that— you covered his ass, you covered all of our asses, including his, because he wasn’t following instructions. He’d done what he was supposed to, he wouldn’t have been out there. But he got— he was in your car, car licensed to you, and only Tim— the only way they ever found out was through Tim Stoen, that’s why we gotta remember that prick, the only way he’d ever know, Tim Stoen was in it, he’s the only one back there that knew, Mike Cartmell didn’t know shit about it. Only one person knew about it is Tim Stoen. Now, I want to get him. (Pause) So what is it, man, that you— something you said, that you was not trusted in town or some bunch of shit—
Ron: Uh, I— I thought that I— it just seems that things are falling into a pattern, it seems like I’m trying to get out. Uh, Rob had asked me— I— In fact, I wrote this to you. Rob had asked me to go to the ridge [Matthews Ridge?] with him that time and then, um— (Pause) I was— I was going to go to Georgetown and didn’t. I didn’t know what happened there, but I felt everything was okay, but I— I thought it looked like I was trying to, and uh, it just seemed like the situation was coming down that way, and it— I felt that it looked like I was trying to. And I just didn’t know how to convey that I’m not trying to. I thought it looked very much like I was trying to, and some way just tried to find certain ways to get out, and, uh—
Jones: Well, that’s a thought we must keep in mind for everybody, but I didn’t— I hadn’t had any concerns about that, uh, till you plant them, you know, you know, by your— uh, now these medical people got something to explain to me, because, they said you was standing there with hypochondriac galore, and I want this straightened up now, ‘cause I— I expect a lot out of you, as a white nigger. And that means you can’t redeem yourself, ‘cause I— you know, I, uh, I don’t hold things. I get them out. Anything that wouldn’t wipe, this fucker wouldn’t wipe, they wouldn’t wipe the, uh, snot off your nose if there was just one drop. Is anything that would wipe my glasses (tape distortion)
Crowd: Murmurs. Pause
Jones:— hey, shit. I’m sorry you people have to put up with this shit. I’m sorry. I didn’t come over here to be a White Nights. Hold this mother. yeah, it’s all right. I knew you’d say that, someone’d say it, but it’s not what I wanted. Anybody think I’d put people through White Nights must not know anything about Jim Jones. God damn it. Goddamn, you don’t know anything about me. I wouldn’t do this. It isn’t fair to pay— to play with people like this.
Male voice: You know, in answer to Dad’s question about that, you have a preoccupation with your sideburns and you’re worried—
Jones: I told him about that. But there was some more stuff, saying he was trying to get pills for pains or something. I want to find out about this. That shit come through me. I mean, I would slightly— you’re right, Dianne, you must have drunk a lot, I’m getting now vomitous. You sure must have drank a lot in your day, my daughter. Huh, shit. What an unpleasant thing, for all the drinking to come down to this. Get me a pan.
Voice in crowd: Give him the pee can.
Jones: Just in case. I usually don’t vomit, I hold it pretty well, but it— it’d fucking sick now. Don’t let me look at it, and it may pass. Psychologically, never look at a vomitous basin, and often it’ll pass. Ain’t that the li— (Cries out) There ain’t nothing good that doesn’t have a ba-a-ad ending.
Crowd: Murmurs.
Jones: Except socialism.
Crowd calls agreement.
Jones: And I mean that from the depths of my heart. That has a good ending. Whatever, the grave, or wherever, it’s a good ending.
Crowd applauds
Jones: Because you know it’s right. (Pause) Sweetie-pie, would you put that down— (unintelligible)
Male voice: She’s short.
Jones: She’s short, but you can get her up. (Low aside unintelligible) You talked about Tish’s [Tish LeRoy] paperwork, having all that paperwork, and that looked to me like you’re trying to appeal to him because— he thought so too— because he’s pretty analytical. He’s got a black wife, something you don’t have, son. You had a black wife, and he said you didn’t want to get involved, nobody didn’t want to care for nobody. That’s dangerous. Or he made the observation you didn’t, or something like that. And naturally appeal to him about Tish’s paperwork, all the paperwork she required, be appealing to him because he has to do a lot of the Tish work. P— Tish work, yeah, paperwork. Um, said that SAT is no longer really existing.
Low male voice: All they do is set up the pavilion.
Jones: All they do is set up the pavilion. O-o-oh, man, don’t make that mistake. Just the SAT that you know about isn’t— I’ll tell you mighty, mighty sure that there’s a, there’s a— now, now (emphatically) a high-powered weapon on this place all the time, ready. It may not be through your official structure, but don’t, don’t ever make that mistake, ‘cause your dad loves you too much to put you in that kind of a mess. No-o-o no no no no. He’ll (unintelligible word— sounds like “complain”) about not being able to go anywhere, he didn’t understand why he couldn’t go, even when the crisis is cool down, maybe he could go and he said that— that was what was said to him and to keep him qui— to keep— that was what was said to him to keep him quiet. That’s a reflection on me.
Ron: Dad.
Jones: He didn’t say that one.
Ron: Not that it was said to keep me quiet—
Jones: Wh— What did you say? What did you say? What did you say to him? You got big mouth, son. I gotta— Your father deserves to trust some people. (Pause) I never was so proud of you that night, ‘cause you could’ve brought the end to the movement on that shit, if you’d have sung that night, we’d have been in trouble, ‘cause I’d’ve gone to jail for Chris, in spite of him not following my instructions. And I can’t help but think that you knew what that was all about, didn’t he, Maureen? He must’ve known what it was all about.
Maureen: Um, I never told him, but I— he was suspicious. He asked me several times.
Jones: What was the story I gave you? I may not have told you the full story.
Maureen: That, uh- That I was driving the car. I was doing something, I was driving the car.
Jones: No, disappointment, disappointment, I— Your father’s memory—
Maureen: He didn’t—
Jones: (unintelligible) was pretty keen. You were driving the— Well, now I thought that naturally— but still that’s character.
Maureen: He was—
Jones: He showed concern for his sister. But he knew it was fucking brush with the law, didn’t he?
Maureen: Yes, and he knew Chris, Chris had been in an accident and, uh—
Jones: Yeah, yeah.
Maureen: I’m— I’m sure he knew. He knew there were some things in the car.
Ron: I— I knew about it. I— (Rest of sentence overrun by jones)
Jones: Member of your family participated but— so, well, anyway, (stumbles over words) I still say that’s— to protect your family, that’s, that’s, that’s a beginning of some law. Some people won’t do that.
Ron: I— I thought it, it was more— I— I’d never really thought it was Maureen, I— I was just kind of—
Jones: Oh, Maureen was involved, Maureen was involved. Totally. She was involved, totally. She was committed totally.
Ron: I— I understood there were more, you know, like five people in the car, and I felt that if I could take the case rather than five of our people, it would be—
Jones: Okay, and that’s, that’s beautiful. But why in the hell can’t you keep a lid upon you? Man, I gotta be cynical about everybody. I’d be cynical about my mother. (Pause) She’s dead out there, rest her blessed body. (Pause) Anybody deserved to rest, she did.
Maureen: I want to say to you, Ron, uh, you don’t, uh, you don’t talk negative around me, because I won’t let you, and I— I’m surprised you— you’re saying shit like this. When you told me you weren’t going to go to Georgetown, you said, well, just took they took the comedy act down, you weren’t worried about it all—
Jones:— and that’s the fucking truth. (Unintelligible) cut it out and I said, put it back in, when they— I remember they had uh— (Snaps fingers) [Richard] Janaro. I didn’t agree with their goddamn shit. I’m tired of them dictating this, that and the other thing.
Ron: Uh-
Jones: He talk negative to you, Marlene [Wheeler]? You must have tried it on a few and got by with it, son. Anybody talk negative to you?
Marlene: He did mention something about that to me, I didn’t think too much of it at the time. He said something about, maybe he couldn’t go into Georgetown and maybe because of his past record, and I said that would be reasonable to consider, you know, considering his past.
Jones: It would in the CIA time, but I didn’t— I didn’t consider that.
Another woman: Your past record is one thing. You know, your past— you’re the one that your past record. And for some reason you’ve always acted like the— you have maybe acted like Dad or somebody holds that over you, that there’s some control over you because if you go anywhere, we’ve got your past record to— against you. And I— I kinda get that feeling from you a lot of times.
Jones: And what’s that, uh, sweetheart?
Woman: That— Because of his past record, that he—
Jones: Shift, please.
Woman:— he can’t go anywhere. Even in the States, he used to say this, well, yeah, if I want to go out, you know, get away or go someplace, my past record can be used against me, the police will pick me up or whatever. He’s always been real paranoid about that. Just a lot of paranoia.
Ron: I always felt that (clears throuat) there was a lot of things I couldn’t do because of my past record, and I been frustrated by that always, but I, I feel—
Jones: Umm-
Ron: — like here I have a new chance. I don’t have a record here. I’m clean uh, for— (pause)
Jones: (throws up)
Unidentified male: Go on, keep on talking, keep on talking.
Jones: Go on, shit, hell, there ain’t nothing for me. Just a little vomit.
Ron: Right. I felt there was a lot of things I couldn’t— I couldn’t do, that I couldn’t— couldn’t get out and do some jobs that I might have been able to do if I didn’t have a record, if I was a clean— like a clean citizen in the States. There was a lot of things I—
Jones and Ron talk over each other
Jones:— folks, my body don’t need all this shit, it really don’t need all this shit. I’m telling you. (Name unintelligible), let’s get together so I don’t have to think through everything. I’m not mad about it, because I’m really— uh, really not mad about it, but I’m telling you, you people ought to think when you’re doing some of this shit so I don’t have to think through everything. That’s what’s getting to me.
Crowd: (Murmurs) Yes, Dad.
Ron: Dad—
Jones: I oughta known, we should have put food with th— with this fucking amount of liquor. (Sighs.) Don’t get drunk, honey, it ain’t worth it. I knew— there ain’t nothing good in this universe, there ain’t nothing good but socialism.
Crowd: Right. (Applause.)
Jones: I gotta piss anyway. Just help me out here, I gotta piss so I can get back down to it.
Unidentified male: Don’t stop talking, keep talking.
Ron: — without— what I was saying— I— I felt that uh, there was a lot of things I couldn’t do because of my past record, and I— it didn’t seem like I could ever get it cleared up. ‘Cause I was— I couldn’t get it sealed, and— and it just seemed like— and there was a lot of jobs I couldn’t do, I couldn’t do for the church, I always had just kind of just be sort of out of some things, or out of a lot of things that— I felt because of that. And I, I didn’t feel it was Dad’s fault that I had the record, I, I had the record before I ever met Dad. That was the only time I didn’t get any record, was when I met Dad. And in fact the only time I got off all the probation, got everything cleared up for years, but I— (Clears throat) it was just a problem that I felt that there was so much I couldn’t do because I had that damn record hanging over there. (Emphatic) I couldn’t get rid of it. So, I just— I don’t know. I, I just had a problem with that.
Unidentified male: Your oth— Your other sister had her, had her hand up in regards to you talking negative.
Unidentified young woman: I was going to say, um, when he didn’t get to go to Georgetown, I, you know, he had been packed up and everything, and I asked him, um, I thought you were going to Georgetown, and he says, no, I didn’t get it— I’m not going, he says, uh, they canceled the show, they said it— it wouldn’t be, uh, you know, what they’d want to see there or something. He says, I, I don’t know if that’s really what it is, but, uh, he says, I don’t know if that’s really the case but that’s, you know, I’m not going, and that’s all I know. Something like that. So it was kind of like a suspicious thing like this— they weren’t going to send him for some reason, you know. And also, Ron, I’d like to say um, I think, you know, like you’re saying, you didn’t get to do a lot of things that you wanted to do for the church, but I think one of your problems is, you want to be in the limelight of doing something big and fantastic, and you don’t have to be that way. You know, he has this big ego thing, that you want to do something, you know, and right now but, you know, you talking negative and sh— you’ve got a, a position on SAT where, you know, people look to you or whatever. You— you’re in a leadership position yourself now.
Jonathan: (Voice starts away from mike) One of the times that you, uh, went away and came back and Father lovingly put you in one of the most trusted positions in this Temple, uh, and that was driving Father’s bus. You remember that? (Pause) (Slower) Do you remember driving Father’s bus, bus 7? I don’t understand how you can feel that uh, this way and then still talk negative when he showed you love and trust, at that time and many other times after that, when we came after you. Remember? (Pause) I think you ought to think about that while you’re saying these things.
Jones: I missed some of that, Jonathan, what uh— what did you say, Jonathan?
Jonathan: I was reminding him of one of the times—
Jones:— and in the meantime, we do have, uh, we do have one pregnant mother that could be, you know, Cathy, and I want to take care of her, so let me see who should go out. Doctor, you should go out and rest. Marceline, you should rest. Uh, Ava should rest, Sandy— you ought to get to rest now, just in case— uh, we’ll manage this White Night somehow, and uh, Sharon? That’s it, that’s it. Dr. Schacht, you— ‘cause you been— we had last night that miracle, miracle (tape trails off, unintelligible), okay? Lois, Lois. You guys get to rest. Put them to rest. What’s the matter? Pointing to somebody? The pregnant lady, the woman, the mother, the expectant mother (unintelligible) think for themselves, wouldn’t they?
Unidentified male: Yes, Dad. Thank you.
Jones: Okay. Now we don’t want no trouble, we don’t want no trouble with these goddamn White Nights, because we’ll, we’re prepared for life and we’re prepared for death. If you’ve got anything that’s freely socialistic in you, you can take it or leave it.
Crowd: Murmurs
Jones: You can pick it up, you can create life— well, Mary, you’ve been up, Mary Walker, a long while and, uh, if you feel it, now, you can go. Anybody else here, we got, uh— Mom Dean’s been up, who else? Who is behind there? Who—
Crowd: Murmurs
Jones: Huh?
Woman in crowd, voice too soft.
Jones: Well Mom, I want you to take care of yourself, you’re— shoot, behind, who’s behind in there? Okay. Anybody these 90-year-olds—
End of side 1
Side 2
Jones: — here’s why, by God, I’d talk to him about cattle and we didn’t get— he went— he got his ass on that fucking boat to go look into the cattle, and Sylvester [Fair]— (stumbles over words) this is amazing, you’re beautiful, you’re beautiful. I love you. You’re beautiful. No, no instructions from me, I just had to know about the cattle. He get his ass on the boat, and here he is way up there, and he’d had a lot of help, probably, he rode that fucking boat, went through the town and found out about the cattle. I salute you, Sylvester, go home and take a— go home and get a nap.
Crowd: Applause.
Jones: The morning will come.
Applause
Jones: Anybody else that feels some kind of— what’d you say, Amanda [Fair]?
Voice too soft.
Jones: Yeah, he does look good with his teeth. Got his teeth. That’s marvelous. (Pause.) He’s a beautiful man.
Voices too soft.
Jones: Okay, okay. You know, I’ll leave it up to Don. If he feels okay to go on a while, he can, um—
Voice too soft.
Jones: No, don’t apologize, Diane. That’s good, to have guilt, but you didn’t cause no sickness. I don’t let nothing plant in me, you don’t psychologically put nothing in me. Nothing— so don’t feel bad about— Nobody can psychologically get me to feel a damn thing. So you would never never never never, nobody suggest for me to get sick, I would just—
Voice too soft.
Jones: Who? Respiratory inhalation, yeah, okay, he should rest too. They been up all night with the last pregnancy.
Voice too soft.
Jones: Okay, let’s get it done once and for all so we don’t go all, all night and talk about it, huh? I thought to ask the question, so now I— Okay.
Unidentified woman: I just want to comment um, on Ron.
Jones: I’ll tell you, don’t get drunk, it ain’t worth— unless the last one, that last drunk, ‘cause you won’t get up from that one, but—
Unidentified woman: Dad?
Jones: It ain’t worth it sobering up, it ain’t worth it.
Unidentified woman: But I feel in his position that— he’s in the nurse’s office, once, twice or three times almost every day. He spends most of his day in the nurse’s office, and he has had—
Jones: Still?
Unidentified woman: Yes. He has trouble, you know, he’ll get a cold and then we give him, like, antibiotics, and he has an allergic reaction to the antibiotics.
Jones: Well in security, I asked him why in the hell he’s worried about losing a little hair. I’d be glad if I could lose some hair, man. I got a— what the hell’s going to happen when I can no longer even masquerade as a sexual image. I can always fuck, but that isn’t enough. What’s going to happen? You ain’t got no problem. What the hell you been fucking lately for the cause?
Ron: Uh—
Jones: I wish to hell some of you men would get the consciousness that I could trust you to do so, and women too. (More emphatic) And women too.
Crowd: Cheers, applause.
Jones: I coulda had some help, and been mighty— mighty pleased, and that shows sure I didn’t want nothing from Grace Stoen when the very goddamn day I could get out of her, I tried to transfer her to Tim Carter. Mmm-hmm, mmm-hmm, mmm-hmm.
Voice in crowd: Right!
Jones: And she was the mother of my child. And I knew the risk, mother of my child, getting into something, and maybe I’d lose my child. Nooo, I ain’t losing my child. I ain’t losing my child. That’s one thing I won’t do. I made every sacrifice in the goddamn world, but they ain’t taking my child. If they take— they come for my child, they take me, and then— that’s all I can say. If you want to go with me, fine, but that’s one sacrifice I ain’t making.
Claps and cheers
Jones: And I can tell you— And I can tell you, drunk or sober, I feel the same way about Dana [Truss]. Nobody gonna take her. No goddamn prostitute, no goddamn dope pusher is going to walk away with that little girl. Never. (Stutters slightly in searching thoughts) Most people not fortunate enough to have something good to die for, and that’s— makes me feel real good, that I got something good to die for, so nobody— you can tell little Dana wherever she’s at, nobody going to walk away and take her, anywhere, (low, emphatic) nowhere.
Claps and cheers
Jones: Okay, Do— You get that thing and make me feel good, you make me feel good, you make me feel good if I could get a communication line open with you so I could feel that trust and bond that I ought to feel.
Ron: Dad, I’m just— I been too worried about myself and since you spoke to me, I, I was on a— some kind of antibiotic, but I’m not—
Jones: Shit.
Ron:— going for any treatments or any of that baloney anymore.
Jones: What antibiotic? For what? That depends—
Ron: I had a— some kind of chest congestion. I was saying, I would finish that up, ‘cause it was started.
Jones: All right.
Ron:— and then, I haven’t gone in for any treatment, and I’ve, I— I’m not, I’m just not going to do it, take up the nursing staff’s time, and all that. I know it was selfish, and—
Ron and Jones talk over each other
Jones: Can you analyze why? That’s what I’m interested in. I’m not interested in what one does in the past. We can forgive the past. All socialists are redemptive. If they’re not, they’re not good socialists. We certainly want to be— look at the past, want to keep profiles, know all of our weaknesses where the enemy can reach us, where the CIA could get to us, you and— (Pause) Wake up that new sister back there in Accounting, she’s about to go to sleep on her seat. (Pause) Okay. Why were you in there for all these pills and so forth?
Ron: I think for one thing that I’m used to substituting drugs for pain, and uh, I know in the States, that it— unless I was doing something that really had my mi— mind occupied, at the slightest pain, I would take something. I would get something. Uh, that’s been a pattern.
Jones: Have you got any of this pain here? ‘Cause you’re one that thought the White Nights weren’t real.
Ron: No, I—
Jones: You haven’t let the pain get to you, huh?
Ron: Well, I— yeah, I did, when I went— went in there, and I, I got medication before, yes.
Jones: No, I’m talking about if you let any of this pain get to you. We’re setting here tonight, we don’t know whether we’re going to— how many tomorrows we got. (Pause) Has this got to you?
Ron: Yes, it has. It has. (Pause) I, I believe it’s very serious.
Jones: It’s got to, man, it’s got to. It’s very very serious. They all were. Would to goodness that no— none of them had been. I might think that life was fraught with a little less hazards, when you see these many hazards, it don’t give you a happy feeling about projection. But the Cubans, as I said, took it for so many years, so why in the hell can’t we? We can win it. If we don’t win it, we win, because we were right.
Crowd: Right. Thank you, Dad.
Jones: Anybody else got anything to say to him? I feel like I’ll vomit if I talk to, a little bit. Is there anything to settle this stomach? Now I don’t give a shit about the pain, I just think I ought to settle it, so— so I don’t have any uh, take up more time.
Crowd: Murmurs.
Young woman: I think—
Jones: I insist on those medical people going, I do, because I insist on that, uh, Cathy going. I insist. You got— we gotta take care of you. You got enough tonight to think on. That’s very brave of you to want to continue, but I want you— I want you to do it. I really want you to do it.
Young woman: I think you create your pain and your symptoms so you can get the drugs, not so you can escape the pain, but so you can escape reality, so you don’t have to do anything about it.
Jones: Put SAT control— no problem here, but I want to think about SAT control, so, uh, security. (Pause) Okay, go ahead.
Young woman: Oh. (Clears throat) One other thing—
Jones: It’s an awful way to live. Nobody stepped out of there that I have any life or faith in. It’s an awful way to live that the moment somebody steps out of the pavilion, you’re going to think about putting security around the place, so they can— there can be no shit started. Can you imagine the prison I’m living in when you feel like you got troubles? (Pause) Can you imagine that? That’s not pleasant. (Pause) You go to Georgetown, you can think about going to Georgetown some time ago and somewhere. I never think about going anywhere, but staying here and keeping this place safe. (Pause) I wouldn’t mind that, if I didn’t have to worry about everything. Gotta worry about everything. Even, uh, when I take something to lower my blood pressure. You people gotta think more.
Low voice.
Jones: Someone, uh— (Sounding tired) relieve Sharon, who’s staying with the new mothers. (Pause, talks off mike) Sweet kid. Try to— Go rest, Marceline. You gotta be in there. You and me, we’ve been up all night, thank you.
Low voice.
Jones: (Three burps) It’s just gas, I think. What— what— what is it, Don, if it were up to Don, I told something to Don, pictures are not like you— you can be kind of sleepy and take pictures, but you sure can’t— I don’t want nobody sleepy helping one of my mothers have babies. (Burp) We really gotta do better than this, folks, though, you gotta, we gotta do better than this, you gotta think through every situation. (Pause) Well, ask some questions, I’m sick. My headache’s back, plus a fucking stomach—
Young woman: Well, one other thing—
Jones: What’d you say, Doc? What’d you say, uh, chemist?
Voice in crowd: (Unintelligible)— help your stomach.
Jones: Well, get me one, so I can keep on going on here. It’s a hell of a sick.
Crowd noise
Jones: Don’t drink. I can tell you, don’t drink. (Pause)
Young woman: Uh, the other thing uh, Dad mentioned was you, you, saying to Rob, you didn’t want to care about anybody or— I’m sure I’ve contributed to that, some, with talk about— just not getting into relationship, ‘cause you know, people just don’t seem to care.
Jones: I missed that, sweetie.
Young woman: He asked— asked you to uh—
Jones: He— he didn’t get into relationship, he didn’t get into relationship with—
Young woman: I’m sorry Dad. I just said, I’ve talked to him about, um, not not, I don’t know how Rob said not caring about anybody, but I think he’s saying getting into a relationship—
Jones: Why don’t you go on and go to bed like I told you to?
Low voice.
Jones: Why don’t you go to bed? You are needed in there. You’re one of the best nurses ever come down the clock. Now go to bed like I told you.
Low voice.
Jones: (Parental) Don’t bother to argue with me, just go!
Low voice
Jones: No, they have to keep that for my blood pressure, ‘cause my damn headache’s back, plus all this other shit. You need this right now? I can deliver that to you later.
Low voice.
Jones: The cup is— Johnny [Jones] gave it to me. My son Johnny (fading speech, then stronger) Okay, okay, okay, okay, that’s true. Why don’t you get in love with some black woman or a black child, man? You can’t— Everybody in this movement to be trusted ought to have somebody, and preferably somebody black, some baby they’ve adopted, or— that’s preferable, that order. In that order. Or some black companion. Because companionship don’t mean too much, being that we see somebody— the minute they go into Georgetown, they forget who their damn companion is.
Crowd: Right.
Ron: Dad, I—
Jones: Now listen to this, children, you’ll get a lesson, you won’t get hurt when you grow up.
Ron: I didn’t want to get into a relationship, ‘cause I, I never handle them right, emotionally, emotionally I, I don’t deal with it right, and I—
Jones: Well, that’s a good point.
Ron: I, I just— and—
Jones: Can’t you love a child?
Ron: Yes.
Jones: The little boys that follow me around till sometimes I feel like I’m c-r-o-w-d-e-d (spelled out). Can’t do business, I can’t handle any of this, it’s just, it’s just, it’s just this terrible claustrophobic feeling that you, that I, I can’t meet all their needs. Why don’t you notice? Why don’t you notice some of them?
Ron: I, I—
Jones: One of my, the one a sweet sweet child, R-i-c-a-r-d-o. (Pause)
Ron: Yes. I had talked to Diane about that, just last week, because I— I mean, I need to be close to somebody, my— my sisters and stuff, I just don’t feel like— we don’t get that close, we, you know, we’re friends and everything, but it’s not a, like I have a child—
Jones: I mentioned boys only because the ones that are, you know, particular hanging about me, and I love them, happen to be boys. There’s another lovely little girl that I— lovely little girl— I hope she’s getting all the attention, she, she shows such concern for children, Tammi and people like that, I hope that we’re showing a lot for love for these children, all these children will have somebody assigned, and there ought to be special concern being given— Where in the hell? Port Kaituma must be in Siberia. Why in the hell ain’t they back by now?
Low voice.
Jones: When did they leave? When did they leave?
Low voice.
Jones: We can do nothing until we hear from that. That’s why we’re held here.
Low voice.
Jones: Mother fuckers. We ought to— we ought to want to get back and get some of them for one White Night, for just one White Night, they ought to all be gotten.
Applause and cheers. Low voice. Mike turned off for indeterminate time.
Jones: Was somebody asked a question? Would somebody moderate this thing? I don’t want to heave all over every place.
Young woman: I remember one afternoon we were walking on duty, Ron had mentioned that he would like to have, you know, he— he’d like to have a child or something, you know, take a child (tape distortion) preferably he’d like to have a little girl because, uh, a lot of people, you know, look over the little girls, and he said he’d like to take—
Jones: Well, that’s sweet thought. They do, they do.
Young woman: He also— He also—
Jones: Anita [Kelley] said you did well with children back in the States. Why aren’t you interested in them here?
Ron: I— Somehow I, I stop and see them all the time on patrol but I, I don’t feel like I can get enough time to really give them something. I, I don’t want to shortchange—
Jones: Man, anything you give them regularly is something.
Male voice in crowd: You— you take enough time to, to talk about a whole bunch of bullshit, to, to gossip and so forth, so if you can take enough time to gossip, you can take enough time with a child. I mean, you know, that’s plain and simple.
Jones: Shift, please.
Young woman: He also mentioned the fact how big a fool, uh, Oli— Bruce Oliver, uh, Bruce was, for fucking, you know, messing over Shanda [Oliver] the way he did because he feel as if Shanda was a beautiful young lady, and uh, anybody that had a young lady like her, you know—
Jones: Yeah. He’s real stupid, because that she is, that’s real stupid. (Pause) Real stupid. Take a socialist, uh, communist psychiatrist to figure out some of this shit. But the communists don’t get mentally ill so they don’t have any psychiatrists. (Pause) That’s the truth. China, it’s an unknown profession. They just don’t have any. Domestically, then, people act out because they feel they— they’re better than others, and narcistically allow themselves to act out. Even some Western psychiatrists have said there is no such thing as mental illness. It’s all just manipulation. (Pause) Okay, okay, okay, I’ve said all I had in mind (unintelligible— sounds like “this is not a”) disciplinary matter, but I, I’ve got to get more out of you than I am getting, for the position you’re in of responsibility.
Ron: I, I’ll show you more, Dad, and quit being into myself, and, and trying to prove things. I’ll just get down and work and be humble. I, I’m not humble enough. That’s one thing is, I might wake every morning and think I’m going to be humble that day, and by the evening, I talk my ass into being arrogant. And I’m going to keep humble around here.
Jones: You have a high degree of a homosexual feeling?
Ron: (Pause) Yes, I do, I—
Jones: The reason I ask that, Noah (?), is sex is behind everything but uh, that easily— Narcissism is of course homosexuality personified—
Ron: Mmm-hmm.
Jones:— um, personified The homosexual feelings are there. Males have narcissism because they think that society puts them on a higher pedestal, but when it’s personified, it’s a high degree of nar— narcissism. Um, I mean, personified to the extent that you’re, you’re, you’re having trouble with humility. (Pause) Maybe you ought to get a homosexual relationship. (Unintelligible sentence about “improve” or “a prude”). Might get you to know more about yourself. But as you say, relationships can divert one. But what you gotta do is to be able to do like your Father, get in one, and not let it divert you.
Ron: Yes, Dad.
Jones: Then, and then alone, you know that you have passed the test. You have theorized about it, but you gotta get in it and pass it. (Pause) I hope all of you heard that.
Ron: I understand, Dad. I, I just—
Jones: That’s another thing to pass on the test. It’s one thing to theorize all about this shit, but be able to get in it, handle it, handle a beautiful woman and come out, is not let that beautiful woman captivate you.
Ron: Mmm-hmm.
Jones: You keep control of the situation. Let communism keep the control. I don’t know whether it’s not properly put— let communism direct you and keep control of the situation.
Low voices off mike.
Jones: This make you sleepy for the nausea.
Low woman voice: I don’t think— I don’t think it will. I— I don’t know.
Jones: Now as I recall, it did.
Woman voice: (Unintelligible)
Jones: You’re pretty good, you’re pretty good medic, medic— (unintelligible) I- I’m whole enough. It makes you sleepy, but I, I don’t need to be asleep or not. I don’t need to, not yet. ‘Cause who knows what the shit this— going to drag in from this telephone call from Port Kaituma. (Pause) Well, I have it ready, setting here and I can take it. I don’t want to waste it unless I have to.
Low voices.
Male voice: One thing I want to say to you, Ron, that perhaps one of the reasons, um—
Jones: Anybody help this young woman. Seems like she a long time holding this goddamn thing.
Male voice: Perhaps one of the reasons you’re so wrapped up in, in yourself, I know a lot of the people I know, including myself, who were very much involved with drugs, they get very much wrapped up in themselves. They, you know, they’re always trying to make themselves feel good, and— and you get so wrapped up in yourself that you don’t have time for anybody else, and you know, maybe that’s just part of your past. I know it’s part of my— my thing I’m trying to overcome.
Jones: Don’t stretch your shirts, kids, with your arms under them. Please don’t do it. Just tears them up. I’m having such a hell of a time getting us all we need. Oh, excuse me, uh, (unintelligible name). Yeah, we get wrapped up in ourselves. We’d have to, to take pain pills. Hope all of you are listening, that line up in the goddamn drug store. (Pause)
Male voice: And I just want to say, that I agree, I think you’ve very preoccupied with yourself. You really are. You’re worried about your hair falling out and, uh, it’s bullshit.
Low voices.
Young woman: I just wanted to say, the medical staff just uh, should be reminded, this guy is a con artist. I mean, he had been a real good con artist in the States, and he’s been to doctors and conned people out of drugs for years, so, you have to really check close when he comes with a complaint. I mean, super close, because this guy knows how to do it, you know, he’s done it for years. I could say, he creates the pain so he can get the drugs and escape the reality.
Ron: Uh, I felt that I— I honestly felt I could have manipulated a lot more, just because I do know how to do that, but I— it doesn’t— it isn’t the same here. I, I just want to say for anybody else that might think, think that, it isn’t the same here. I, I got very bored with it. It was a boring tra— It wasn’t, uh, it wasn’t the same. You don’t need to escape like, like, over there. It’s not the same thing. I got bored with it, and I, I just want to cut it loose. I could have got more and I just didn’t bother it, because it— it’s not the same.
Young woman: I think it’s more escaping yourself. I don’t think you want to change as much as you need to.
Another male in crowd: Have you been doing it anyway? Have you been manipulating (unintelligible)?
Ron: What do you mean? Since those incidents?
Male in crowd: Since you’ve been here.
Ron: Yeah, I, I’d say I, I’d manipulated to some extent. I had some, I, I made it sound worse than it was, but, getting some pain medication isn’t the same here, though, it’s, it’s a different kind of place. I mean I— I tried it out and I didn’t like it. And since that time, I— that’s it. I’m not trying to get anything else for pain because it just doesn’t fit in here.
Male in crowd: So what are you going to do now?
Ron: I— When I’d gotten this pain medication, I felt like I could have got more by manipulating, maybe.
Jones: Yeah.
Ron:— and I, I didn’t do it—
Jones: Well you, wait a minute, don’t overestimate your under— your manipulating because you been being reported for some days.
Ron: Uh, it isn’t the same here, though, because it’s a different kind of society set-up. It’s not good to check out of this society here. It’s nice here. And when you, when you, if you take some kind of drug, you’re kinda checking out and it’s just not the same.
Jones: (Unintelligible name)
Woman talks too low in crowd.
Jones: Okay, go ahead. Don’t stop for this. What’s a sick stomach? There are babies starving. There ain’t no sick stomach like a starving baby’s stomach. (Pause) See, I— Notice how I think. No matter how much discomfort there is. No matter how much discomfort is, I can imagine, what would it be to be a baby starving to death? Hmm? You see how much you notice your pain then. (Pause) Do I take any water with them? (Pause) I’m insatiably thirsty.
Low voices
Jones: Your problem out there tonight ain’t that bad, honey. So wake up, and look in there. Your mother’s not— your mother’s not dying of starvation in front of your eyes, or your baby’s not dying in your lap.
Crowd: Right.
Jones: We got six months provisions of food coming in, when that boat lands here in the next couple of days, and we got so— a hell of a lot of equipment, military equipment, you can keep a whole lot of folk off this hill for some time. And that’s more guarantee of life than you ever had back in the States. You didn’t have no guarantee at all.
Cheers and applause.
Jones: You didn’t know when that son-of-a-bitching white police was going to do something to you, you didn’t know what night they going to stop you, or what day they going to stop you on the street. You didn’t know when they going to take your children or somebody that was dear to you, or start some shit or burn down your house or mug you or rape you. You didn’t know anything. All it takes is somebody throw your ass in jail, their testimony, one whitey against you, and that’s it. I don’t care who you are. (Pause) Black doctor— black doctor, Mount Zion Hospital, some white bitch accused him of raping her— hear what I’m saying? Now wake up!— Some black doctor, Mount Zion, white bitch accused him of raping her, and the bitch was 35 years old and he— but they charged him with rape, raping hi— raping her in the hospital bed. Ain’t that the shits? (Pause) Anytime a black man has to rape a woman 35 years old (stumbles for words), anybody know that’s a lie.
Low voices. Young woman talks too low.
Jones: In the hospital bed. That’s what you face any walking day you live in that fucking country. You can say, but it didn’t happen to me, but uh, finally, your odds wi— win out, you sure couldn’t have counted on several months ahead, the food and protection and guns between you and your enemy.
Crowd: (Scattered) Right.
Jones: One thing, you folk who went to town, you made your Father feel good, because he has to look at cynical cynicism all the way. But you ga— you guys went to town and come back with the best record of any— and I’ve sent twelve in that didn’t do as well as eighty. And I— and it was night, no, no daylight— I mean, no lights, no water, no ship. No, no way to shit, no way to see, and uh, uh, that made me feel better about the potentials of human beings. But I still, when everybody— six people walked out of here tonight, even though they were trusted medical personnel, you saw the guns start their row, their rounds, didn’t you? Huh?
Crowd: Right.
Jones: (Calls out) Ain’t that a hell of a way to live?
Crowd: Yeah.
Jones: You don’t have to worry about that, but I do, ‘cause I love you, I don’t want nobody to start no shit from you— no shit for you, nor— nor take no pain, that is not necessary. And this pain tonight— Goddamn, what’s holding them people up in Port Kaituma? (Pause) Anyway, you can make a free call, some way to find out if Paula Adams, and say she left so many min— minutes more on— on the band, is the band totally dead. (Pause) Deader than a doornail, that’s lovely. Yes, that’s the way it is.
Low voices.
Jones: Drinking coffee, honey, don’t worry. Anything I got, you can have. That’s what I— That’s another thing. Everything you do, everything you say, the way you look, the way you move, where you walk, whether you smile just right, everything’s under a microscope. You people haven’t got no problem. You ain’t got no problem. I’m telling you, I’m serious, you haven’t got no problem.
Crowd: Applause.
Jones: Well, I didn’t mean to hound on this all night. What the— Anything else to say to him? I just— Something, something that accidentally fell in the foray—
Young woman: Uh, Ron, the day you were working at Central Supply, I just want to say I think—
Jones: Shift.
Young woman:— you were acting very childish, like a hurt child, somebody took his candy away, because you couldn’t go to Georgetown. You moped around, then you were real glad that you went to the front gate so that you wouldn’t have face people and tell them why you didn’t go. You know, you were very upset about having to explain it to everybody, which is just your ego hanging on, I thought.
Ron: I agree with that. I just, I didn’t want to face people. I, every asking, why didn’t you go, and I, I just, I was embarrassed.
Jones: What the hell would you be embarrassed about? There was no slapstick, the director of the cultural whatever the shit office he thinks he is, said no slapstick.
Ron: Well—
Jones: That’s the simple answer to that. The only reason Jack [Beam] went was to look after a boar hog and a fucking boat, and uh, and Patty, we wouldn’t have no slapstick potential. Patty went in to get fruit. (Pause) You people oughtn’t to be so image-conscious. Hell, I wouldn’t mind if somebody arrested me tonight. That’d be easy. I know where my parameters were. (Laughs) I imagine a whole lot of folk been fighting this, with these sonsabitches, all for the letters and strategy, they’d be glad to be arrested tonight. Go over there on the Learning Crew, you people feel sorry for yourself, Learning Crew, you got shit, you got it made. You got it made, I said.
Crowd: Right.
Jones: I’m sure folk are letter-writing and all kinds of coordination, they’d love to go to Learning Crew, shit. At least they’d know when they’re going to bed. Some of us don’t even know. (Pause) Lousy, damn— I would have to have a, what is it they call them, night after?
Voice in crowd: Morning after— hangover—
Jones: The hangover? Yeah. (Pause) And I got such a will, some people would’ve got more out of a drunk, they’d at least get all night out of it, but I can’t even get a few minutes, because I love you too much to allow myself the privilege. (Pause) (Loud) Okay, stay awake, honey, we ain’t got no choice, we don’t know whether we’re up all night with guns or what, because we— see, why we’re sitting here, you understand why we’re sitting here? ‘Cause we threaten the fucking government that’s in charge. We gotta know what their reaction is when we go to sleep, right?
Crowd: Right.
Jones: Are we threatening them more. Anybody know what’s going on? What was it? Jeanette? The doctor and the pharmacist and whatever the shit else— coverage— news articles and a whole bunch of shit we throwed in one package deal, lot of other little extraneous matters, I don’t know, we throwed it all in there, barged into their office. So I gotta know what kind of results we had tonight. (Pause) Don’t you agree? Don’t you think— You going to sleep very well if you went home—
End of tape.
Tape originally posted December 1998