You were my first love, the complete love of my life and the passion of my soul. From the moment we met, I had an overwhelming feeling I knew you somewhere before, everything about you was so completely comfortable and easy. It was as if we had been together before and were just picking up where we left off. As I recall, the only problem we has was our age difference, and I totally respect you for not allowing us to cross the line. We were going to wait until I turned 18. I remember how hard it was for the both of us to stay in control of our feelings and desires. I remember our long talks on the bus rides from SF to LA and how much I looked forward to spending that amount of time with you.
We used to take long walks out to Ocean Beach and on one of those walks we talked about exploring a life together outside of PT, just you and me alone in the world. We were trying to figure out how we could make it happen. I remember feeling we could do it. To this day, I wish we had taken the chance and done it. At least if we didn’t work out, we could still be in each others’ lives and just a phone call away instead of a lifetime apart.
I think we brought out the best in each other. Neither of us wanted to control the other or make changes in our personalities, we just took each other for who we were. It was a perfect match. We grew so close, words didn’t even have to be spoken.
Your gentle touch, your soft kisses and your sweet smell will be with me for eternity. You will always live in that safe place only you have been able to enter. Nothing can change the devastation and emptiness I’ve felt from your being taken from me. All I can do is wait, and beg the universe will rejoin our souls again. Until the next time, I will love you always.
Linda Mertle
(Linda Mertle can be reached at lmmertle@att.net.)