N-1-a-30e – 30f are photocopies of envelope with letter “To Dad, from Michaeleen Brady”
N-1-a-30g – 30j
March 2, 1978
I am writing concerning Pat (Patterson) & I. I am grateful to you for allowing me the opportunity to see, that I can make it & stand on my own 2 feet without Pat. I was very emotionally dependent on him. I am not sure what is happening with him now, as far as I am concerned. I do not want him to think that he has to go with me, for any reasons. I can see where I may have needed him before. I do care for him. I have changed, thanks to you. I have some very mixed feelings about him & do not want him to have to hassle his flirtations & games. There will have to be some changes, in the way he treats me for us to continue, although he has been a good friend. And I hope we will always be. I do not want him to think he has to go with me, ‘cause I only need you & this cause. I feel I could take a break. I also feel he really wants Diane [Lundquist] back, first, & sometimes he used to mess up my mind over her.
I want to add that my sister Marlene Wheeler has been making accusations lately that I am slightly going off my nut again. She said I mention Pat too often & that I should watch out cause it wasn’t normal. I do not like the little insinuations that I could be crazy, especially in front of other people. She was quite serious & Dad, I have not needed my medication & therapy & I don’t think I ever will. I started off pretending to be crazy years ago, because it was easier, but I am not nuts. A lot of people here thought that I was, but there are changes. I can’t say that at times I don’t get overly upset over things, but how abnormal is that? When I have a confusion in my mind, I usually write to you. And the last letter I wrote to you concerning my job change, I was upset & I think that that was a contradictory letter & didn’t make a lot of sense because it was emotional & not thought out. I feel my sister may have a grudge against me, because when we were young I accidentally sprayed her eye with perfume when we were in a fight & she says I purposely did it. It has caused her many eye operations. And I think she hates me for this & why she has to hint around that I may be set off at any time, pisses me off as I feel I can hold it together now that I am here, in our Freedom Land. Thank you Dad, I am eternally grateful.
N-1-a-30k – 30l
I do hope she will stop the planting of mind that I am crazy.
About Pat, I will be happy to see him. But I won’t let him mess up my head. I will be in control. I am insecure about our relationship at this time. He has not written since Dec [December] 4. Although in his letter he said he was packing then & getting ready to come, & would see me soon.
After 4 years of going together & then a separations without being able to say goodbye for 7 months, it is going to be a little ruff when seeing one another again. I am grateful to you that he is able to come. I know he has been waiting a long time for this great day. I feel he is a good worker, but a chauvinist & needs help in that area. I am not really interested in anyone else and feel if this doesn’t work out, I would just as soon stay away from relationships.