I have decided that the best thing to do is for me to go away with John [Victor Stoen]. I do not trust what the Stoen’s will do. By the time you read this John and I will be gone. I believe it is best that no one in the organization knows where we will go or how. Not because of any lack of trust but for the sake of security. Legally no one can pin anything on you or anyone else here because you won’t know anything. I know how much you love John and I feel this is the best way to protect him.
I have decided that the best thing to do is for me to go away with John. By the time you read this we will be in Surinam. I have thought about this a long time and think it is best. Please don’t worry. I know how much you love him and could not bear to see him go back to Grace & Tim. He tells me in vivid detail how Grace abused him & never loved him. Tim Stoen is a fool to claim John is his son. I only regret that I won’t be here to face Steve Katsaris and tell them what I think. I would like to see him deny what he did to me to my face.
[Editor’s note: The author of this unsigned note is Maria Katsaris.]
Please do not worry about us – we are fine. Please do not worry. You have given us everything. There is nothing more than the principle you taught us, the character you showed us, and the love you gave us. My greatest guilt is that I did not do more with what you gave, and I’m deeply sorry if I did not help take some of the burden off of you. I am not good at expressing what I feel but I want you to know you have my greatest respect & deepest loyalty. I know everything you have done has been right & that you have done everything you could do. I am sorry you have had to carry the burden alone all these years. Right now we are in M/R [Matthew’s Ridge] and don’t really know what’s going on at this point, or if Mrs. White has been there [reference to the final White Night], although I doubt she has arrived
yet. Don’t feel badly that we had to leave. We want to do it & when you know it’s over, it doesn’t make any difference. I know Julia will help with John and it makes me feel a lot better. One thing I remember in the book you were reading on Chile were the parents who sent their children off to school that day & never knew what became of them – if they were dead, alive, and concentration camps or what. Thank you for letting me be his mother. I [It] has meant much to me. I am only sorry I have not done better by him. Well, I’m not going to get emotional & sentimental at this point – I think it’s the end – if it’s not, I want you to tell you these things, although I’m sure you know. I can think of a lot of things I never said or did
[Handwritten insertion at top of page: “But it doesn’t make any difference now. We should have lived every day with this in mind like you have.”]
I wish I had – I’m sorry for not helping you more, & that you have had to carry the burden alone. Again, go feel bad that we are going. At least we have been able to be here. You should not have to bear everything. Even if for some reason Mrs. White does not get here this time – I still think I should go with Mildred [Teri Buford]. That’s all. The plane will be here in a few minutes. Thank you for everything.
N-1-C-32a – 32b
Dear Carolyn –
Just in case John & Barbara [Moore, Carolyn’s parents] do come in Monday to town – have them bring in the black briefcase I left with you so I can sort out what is what. That’s just in case I’m in G/T [Georgetown] a few days longer. At this point we don’t really know what’s going on or if you have all gone to see Mrs. White [code for final “White Night”]. But if it’s going to be a while longer (assuming I’m in town for a few more days) I can work on the checks & organize the orders which can then be transmitted by G/T. There is an envelope of mail to give to Rita in there & also several copies of follow-up that came in from town that can be given to Paula [Adams] to take care of. Stick in the red binder on top of my desk that has lists of people’s names & the amounts of their checks. I will explain to Karen [Layton] & Millie [could be Cunningham, could be coded name] what to do. Well, that’s all I can think of for now. If we do make it (which doesn’t look very hopeful at this point) everything else can wait. On us we will have 400 from Rex and 10 from Alice. That’s all I can think of. Please read John’s letter to him & give the other to Karl if he feels ok – it is not important so if he is ill forget it. Like I told him – I think this is it – I just wish I had said a lot of things I never said & done a lot of things I never did. But that’s in the past. We will do whatever is needed at this point. If I don’t see you again – thanks for being such a good friend and thanks for taking care of John [Victor Stoen]. Give my love to John & Kimo [Jim Jon Prokes, Carolyn’s son].
Tell Annie [Moore] hi – and that I know she has a lot of strength