Stephan Jones note to father

BB-19-H-1 – H-2


I know I’m a selfish son of a bitch for doing this, but I’ve given a great deal of thought, and I know I’m never going to amount to anything or accomplish anything for Socialism. I can’t blame you if you hate me, but please try to understand.

I constantly am feeling guilt for one thing or another, when I feel I’m doing right, I’m doing wrong, I just can’t win.

You talk in service of killing me – I assume this because I’m the only one from your “groin,” as you said it. This makes it possible to mask my guilt, by saying I’m only saving you the trouble.

The main thing that grieves me is the love I felt for a girl I can never hope to have. I would sacrifice all else to have her at my side. At least you have Carolyn and Kimo.

I just hope I don’t die as I have lived – hated

I’m sorry, Dad, I can see living without what I want most in life and I don’t see any purpose to my life where I constantly feel like a traitor.

Please believe I love you,