Confessional notes by Mike Prokes

BB-29-t

If anybody tried to hurt this cause, I’d kill them

Mike Prokes

I have stolen money from Peoples Temple

Mike Prokes

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BB-29-u-1

JJ: this is an old note from Prokes to J. Harris. It seems to show a lot of competitiveness and homo. juvenile thing between them.

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BB-29-u-2

John:

Time is the only relevant factor. Therefore I’ll drive an hour and 1/4 or so to first rest stop and 2 1/2 hours from LA to Buttonwillow, total 3 3/4 hours. You can drive 3 1/2 hours between the first rest stop & Buttonwillow. That means I’ll be driving longer than you but what the hell – you probably can use the extra rest.

Yours truly,
M. Prokes

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BB-29-u-3

John Harris

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BB-29-w-1

MIKE PROKES:

  1. This should probably be read in full
  2. Sees socialism as ultimately boring.
  3. Understands D of P and the necessity of socialism.
  4. Definitely read the whole first paragraph.

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BB-29-w-2

To: Father
From: Mike Prokes
Impressions about Socialism

When I think of socialism, I think of Pure communism – so I know the two aren’t synonymous – where the state has withered away and the people, who own all resources, have reached the point where they no longer compete for status, position and prestige, and there is absolutely equal opportunity in education, employment, and earnings. Thus no one would be left deprived of the basic things necessary to sustain their lives, while at the same time an opportunity would exist for individual creativity in science, industry, the arts, etc. aimed at improving the lives of the people. Once this state has been achieved, however, I personally consider to be ultimately boring in that it seems there will be nothing left to work for, at least domestically, except greater comfort and convenience. I think of a bunch of scientists and technologists sitting around trying to figure out new ways to keep people interested, amused, and entertained. What else is there to produce, once a society has reached the point where everything is free, with no need for a means of exchange?

I see socialism as a totally necessary stage in the process of improvement in the state of the world, a stage that will insure for the first time in former capitalist countries that people no longer suffer from lack of food, clothing, housing and medical care.

My role as one who believes in socialism is to do whatever is necessary to bring it about, whether it means killing or being killed. The socialist end justifies any necessary means, since this end is noble, and because of it less people will ultimately suffer.

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BB-29-w-3

My duty to socialism is to work as hard as I possibly can in helping to attempt to bring it about, whether or not there is any promise that it will succeed. Because of my knowledge of socialism, I should exist only for others needs and the needs of socialism, but never my own personal needs and desires, except maintain my life and reasonable health. I should strive not to look for any personal pleasure or comfort, as long as there is injustice which causes people to suffer and deprives them of pleasure and comfort.

I see Father’s role as being the D of P and providing the best example of socialist principle and character for all others to follow. I view the D of P as totally necessary because the people, at this stage of the revolution, need to focus on, and take direction from, one leader with supreme authority, or a group of worker-leaders acting as one, is the most effective means of guiding and directing the people who lack the socialist enlightenment need to carry on the revolution themselves.

Thank you Father,
Mike Prokes

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BB-29-y

I have been a communist revolutionary and committed many terrorist acts in the past. In spite of my pastor’s efforts to make me give up my desire to be a violent revolutionary and work for peaceful change, I think, in fact I’m confident I’ll commit murder.

Mike Prokes

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BB-29-z

Mike Prokes

I have had no sexual relations of any kind since the one which was already discussed in PC.

I feel no sexual attraction to you that I am aware of.

Occasionally you will say something that indicates I did something wrong. When I don’t understand the reason for it, I get feelings of hostility. I can’t recall an example, but don’t think the issues involved were major.

I also have gotten hostile when meetings (not public ones) have gone on and on when I’m tired and nothing significant seems to be getting done (though I believe you wouldn’t keep it going or allow it to continue without good reason).

The main cause of my hostility toward you, I think, must involve the fact that I sometimes rebel against living up to and being responsible for all the knowledge I’ve gained from you.

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BB-29-aa

I, Michael Prokes, am a homosexual and have molested many children at Redwood Valley Elementary School. I do not regret doing this.

Michael J. Prokes

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BB-29-bb

I think we should begin a calculated mass exit for all who wish to go to Guyana. We could throw up huts until permanent housing was built. The ones who chose not to go would stay back and continue until a confrontation or until it was timely to make a dramatic demonstration of some sort.

Prokes

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BB-29-cc

and I certainly hope that Jim Jones doesn’t somehow find out that I’ve stolen substantial amounts of money on various occasions from the temple.

I’ll tell you more about the trip when I see you in a few days.

With best regards,
Mike Prokes

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BB-29-dd

[Page 2 of a confession; page 1 is missing]

and when I worked as a news bureau chief for the CBS affiliate in Sacramento, I embezzled a helluva lot of money by submitting receipts for airplane rental that had inflated and forged amounts, for reimbursement; shot company film for outside concerns which paid me for the film and also the cost of processing, which I had done by my station (who I gave the impression it was news film); padded my weekly news story counts which were submitted for fees and paid me; did interviews with sports teams & submitted many interviews, all done at one time, as individual stories in order to get paid more, when they all should have been submitted at once for a flat fee. Instead I spread them out submitting one at a time, over an extended period of time, getting the flat fee rate many times instead of just once as I was supposed to do.

There’s more but I’ve got to go so I’ll write again later.

Best regards,
Mike Prokes

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BB-29-ee

I have wanted my pastor to fuck me and because he would not I am planning to commit treason by going out and telling lies on the church and family.

Michael J. Prokes

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BB-29-ff

I am not having any sex whatsoever.

Prokes

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BB-29-gg

Dear Jim,

I don’t know how much longer I can take it. I mean the witchcraft. I feel like I’m programmed. I enjoy violence when I do it – like all those dogs I mutilated but sometimes – like right now – I feel sorry I did it. I think I’m going to end it all with my .38. I only wish I could see my brains blown out. Maybe I’ll try someone else first.

Just didn’t want you to be concerned if you don’t hear from me. Thanks.

Your friend,
Mike Prokes

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BB-29-hh

and it looks like I’m going to need a place to hide out. I’ve been taking funds from a raffle fund I’m in charge of, and I think some finance committee members know it and are about to nail me.

I am probably strongly suspect concerning missing funds since I was offering worker at a time when large sums were stolen. I was stupid to have taken so much in so short a period. It would’ve been easy to take a little bit at a time over an extended period, but I got careless and impatient.

I’ll send some affairs and then come there.

See you soon.

Love, Mike

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BB-29-ii

I feel it necessary to confess that I am a violent revolutionary as well as a practicing homosexual. Will you please ask God to forgive me.

Michael J. Prokes

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BB-29-jj

Dear Pastor,

This is to confess and apologize for my recent homosexual activities with several young men – Dennis, Bill, Jonathan, and Alex. I have committed fellatio with each of them and all of them (except Bill, who couldn’t get an erection) fucked me in the anus. Although these were the most pleasurable sexual experiences I’ve ever had, I know it was wrong to get involved.

I must tell you that on a few other occasions I did some other sexual acts that could be said to be of a perverted nature.

I knew all of this was contrary in every way to your teachings, which are of the highest moral character and which you exemplify to the utmost. I am sorry I have not measured up to your example, and request that you help me through this because I know it isn’t acceptable. I am truly sorry for this. Thank you for being so kind.

Sincerely,
Mike Prokes

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BB-29-kk

5/1/73

I was glad to participate in the sabotage of the train carrying 21 carloads of bombs, Saturday, April 28, 1973. I pledge myself to take advantage of every such opportunity in the future.

Michael J. Prokes

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BB-29-ll

Dear Pastor Jones:

First of all, I want to thank you for all you’ve done for me. Words cannot merely express how much I appreciate all the kindness and consideration you shown, not just to me, but to everyone. I guess that gets right to my point – you are simply too loving and forgiving, if that is possible. If everyone would even come close to living after your example, there would be peace and equality throughout the world. But if you have your patience and courage, and I’m tired of seeing your compassion taken advantage of.

Probably the best example of what I’m talking about concerns “Reverend” Lester Kinsolving. I know were supposed to “do good to those who despitefully use us” and “love our enemies”, etc. but this man Kinsolving is too much. I have so much hate for him that it’s no longer possible for me not to show hostility towards him in the face of his attacks.

I don’t want to go against the example you have set because, naturally, it would reflect badly on all the good that you’ve worked so hard to accomplish. But I’m sorry, I just can’t take it any longer. For me to stay, I think, were only jeopardize the commitment of some of the newer members to your humanitarian principles. I don’t want that and so I must leave.

I realize that I may well regret this action, but I feel there is no choice for me. I know of nothing you can say or do to keep me here (if you happen to be so inclined), you’ve already done everything humanly possible to be a friend who is always there when needed and who can be completely trusted. Actually, you’ve been more like a father to me.

Again, I can’t thank you enough, and I shall never forget you and your tremendous character.

With deepest respect and admiration,
/s/ Mike
Mike Prokes

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BB-29-mm

To the Council and Board of Elders, Peoples Temple Christian Church:

Though I I have the utmost respect for Pastor Jim Jones and his church, I am unable to live up to the humanitarian teachings and hereby resign my membership, effective immediately. Thank you for all you’ve done to help me.

With highest regards,
Michael J. Prokes

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BB-29-nn

Dear Tom:

Please tell Jim Jones I’m getting damn impatient waiting for him to arrange to return the $9000 I donated when I joined the church. Tell him if he doesn’t come across, I’m going to take my life, and my body will be found with letters that will help make my death look like murder. And guess who is going to look guilty – your beloved fuckin’ leader. The letters are already written and secured until the right time comes, and that won’t be far off if I don’t see that money mighty damn quick.

This is no bluff, I need that money and I need it now!!!

Mike Prokes

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BB-29-eee

-2-

and I’m really amazed I’m still alive because I haven’t been keeping the teachings. I know it is only Father that has kept me going this long.

Sincerely,
Mike Prokes

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BB-29-iii

I have had no sexual relationships since I’ve been in PT, excepting those you were aware of.

Prokes

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BB-29-lll-1

To: Father
From: Prokes

I am attracted to anyone who is young (say under 30 particularly) and bosomy and I think I would receive the most physical pleasure from fucking such a person (who I found at least “average” looks) while, at the same time, getting fucked buy a young man like, e.g., the guy I grew up with.

I am hostile to you when the work requires causes me extreme mental

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BB-29-lll-2

or physical stress; or when I seem to be blamed (or think I am blamed) for something I do not feel entirely responsible for, e.g., I know how frugal you are & so I automatically assume you would blame me for John’s ticket cost (I do feel my stupidity is responsible & it depressed me to think how you must have reacted). E.g. 2 – I felt I was blamed for the problem of using the Kansas City mosque when it wasn’t my idea (I felt we couldn’t get it unless I said it was a

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BB-29-lll-3

business meeting, and I felt pressure to get it (which I felt could turn out “penny wise and pound foolish.”) E.g. – I also felt the play would have been focused on me if the Rosalynn Carter rally and the testimonial backfired on us PR -wise.

I know the leader can’t be made to look like he can make major mistakes in judgment, but I’m not always sure when I’m being made the fall guy and when it’s believed that I’m actually the one who made the mistake. From a principle standpoint, maybe it makes no difference – and I should ride with whatever comes – but it (“blame”) has been a source of hostility.

I’ve been much less hostile to you

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BB-29-lll-4

overall and my hostility for specific things is only momentary because I’ve come to realize, simply, that you don’t deserve it. No matter how much I (negatively) react to specific things you do, due to my lack of understanding, misperception, or even “intellectual” disagreement – I would have to go insane to ever deny that you have the greatest character, and best intentions of anyone I could ever hope to meet. I’ve reached the depths of despair (in the past) (and at one point I thought I just about hit bottom) and your example is what brought me out of it & kept me going and will keep me going, because of seeing too much of your character & it’s made me feel responsible.

Prokes

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BB-29-lll-5

PS No response expected or required.