BB-6-RR
This is my formal request to be assigned to take care of Grace Stoen – in light of my long-standing emotional commitment with her. Due to the intensity of the relationship – I feel I must stay with her till the end!!
S. L. Bradshaw
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BB-6-DDD
Dear Pastor,
I have to confess what I have done on my job as a Deputy Probation Officer. I have taken people’s records and altered forms and taken people’s money when they have paid restitution I have also stolen from the secretaries’ purses when they have left the room for a moment.
I am really sorry – I know you would not approve of my actions. Please ask God to forgive me.
Sandra L. Bradshaw
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BB-6-HHH
Father (business-private)
I would like to go “visit” Mr. Carey if possible – I gladly volunteer my services there –
I have a long-standing “comradery” [camaraderie] with the gentleman –
SB
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BB-6-DDDD
I have had sex with Jim Jones at my request. I thoroughly enjoyed every minute of it. It was against his will. I was desperate and begged him to or I told him I would kill myself.
Jim Jones saved my life by having sex with me.
Sandra L. Bradshaw
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BB-6-EEEE
I am a communist terrorist. I have done violent acts to destroy people & property in the past – In spite of my Pastor’s teachings that I be a pacifist.
I have this compulsion to destroy this system by violent means.
Sandra L. Bradshaw
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BB-6-BBBBB1 – BBBBB2
to Jim Jones
Please – let me go on the next plane – I ask only that of you –
By your mercy – please release me –
Sandra Bradshaw
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BB-6-WWWWW
I must confess that I am a violent revolutionary and a practicing Lesbian.
Please ask God to forgive me.
Sandra L. Bradshaw
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BB-6-BBBBBB
NOTES ON SANDY JJ SAID TO KEEP
- She hated me for orgasm
- Planned everything at her house, perfume, etc.
- Packed guns badly
- Was supposed to be suicidal, but didn’t act like it. “suicide on the rocks” – that was the way she got her way ;
- Cat in the bed “I will not he separated from my cat.”
- Crates badly packed.
- Possible poisoning of Marceline
- Always in calculating control.
- She asked him to leave while there was still time, the Italian Alps.,
- The theory of the revolutionary mistress.
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BB-6-JJJJJJ1 – JJJJJJ2
Ingram – Personal
Sandy Ingram
(first – I used to masturbate by tutoring on the arm of a chair at about the age of six – homosexual activities at school – in the bathroom
also – about 8 or 9 – with a neighbor & my sister, I also once with my cousin – homosexual at about the same time a little boy peeked at me –
now for the big stuff:
18 – heterosexual – Bob Timmerman – true love
20 – Gary Ford – he was still a virgin at 22 – it was a challenge
21 – one night stand – John something – I was drunk
22 – Ivan [last name illegible] – my Italian lover
22 – Alvin Canfield – one of my professors – I thought I was “Candy” rescuing “old” men
22 – my aunt’s husband – ditto above – I was way off base on these
23 – Steve somebody – some bastard I picked up with (Masochistic time)
20-24 & up – Mickey Ingram – you see – I got around even then – he was always my anchor tho
22 – Wesley Brown – my Black Panther I thought about love – he taught me many other things – this one was very rewarding
20 – Jim something – he was a crazy artist
I’m pretty sure that’s it – S.
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BB-6-KKKKKK
It is amazing how Pastor’s love and protective guidance has kept me alive all these years. I have not kept his teachings – I never meditate before I drive for example. There are many things I don’t do that I should.
I have always had a terrible death wish – in many areas – especially driving –
I am so sorry – I can take this life no longer –
Sandra L. Bradshaw
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BB-6-LLLLLL
To call SB at work – 468-4271 – make free call – leave phone # of phone booth
SB can then return call from work to booth – (can’t however keep calling church # as I have to record all LD-C’s & it would be too noticeable)
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BB-6-MMMMMM
Plan: from SB
If I am stuck in the Valley when things happen – I plan on doing what I can to infiltrate the Magi party – and do what I can to kill as many as possible – right up to the top – to Bill Wilkenson in Denton, LA.
I also plan on getting some of our own traitors along the way –
This is my contingency plan –
SB
Meanwhile I will study what I can on these fuckers – I could possibly infiltrate the organization anyway – & would be very willing to –
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BB-6-BBBBBB1
Sandy Ingram
I can only have an orgasm when I am on the top position – I guess this is a carryover from the days when I use to masturbate by teetering over the arm of a chair – we very rarely have internal intercourse unless it is a real occasion – I have had a lot of trouble with various yeast infections which intercourse worsens – also the dreaded fear of pregnancy has cut down on my enjoyment of sex – When I was taking birth control pills I enjoyed it more.
I can’t really think of particular fantasies except when I have an orgasm it feels like I am riding a wave & it suddenly rushes over me. In order to have one I have to think of what Mickey means to me & how much I love him & I hold him as close as I can & I want to please him – but I’m not usually a very good sex partner – I can be if I want – but it just doesn’t interest me that much – So I don’t fantasize about sex that much – when I do I guess it’s to feed my ego about how “desirable” I am, etc.
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BB-6-BBBBBBB2
I also fantasize about him being able to see me in a mirror overhead – also of me doing exotic dances for him
Also, I like him to rub my breasts with some force
2 – One of the most dissatisfying things – usually is Mickey wanting to “eat” me all the time – that is – when we are not in the process of making love – & nothing turns me off more than to be half-asleep & have him “pawing” at me & it gives me all kind of guilt feelings to have to squash him.
There are many “best” things about him – he is gentle & he cares so much for me & is always concerned – maybe most of all – I know he really respects me & that’s awfully important.
3 – I have not yet felt particularly hostile toward my pastor – probably just because I haven’t been here all that long & if he stepped on my toes really hard I guess I will be moaning too –
4 – I follow my pastor because I know he is right & what he speaks is the truth. In the beginning it wasn’t clear about survival and a “what will we do” attitude. Now I know there is no other way to be real – to have my life mean anything – sometimes I slip back into a “I wish my time was my own” attitude – but these patterns will be broken
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BB-6-BBBBBBB4
in time. This is not an easy way – but for me there is no other way worth anything – it seems I’ve been looking all my life for something like this – people who really care about each other & not just talk & with so noble a leader.
But it would be false to say that Jim is not somewhat of a father figure to me – he is – I look up to him for love & guidance & wisdom – like I would expect a child to do to his father. I also would be lying if I said there was no sexual aspect involved – Jim is very appealing & represents a source of strength and stability to me – but I do not fantasize about him sexually other than the strength of the circle of his arms sort of thing – when I have dreamed about him – he has been as a source of guidance & gives you courage – never sexual
5 – I hate this mother-fucking system & was preparing to blow it up before I came to this church – I called them “pigs” & still find it hard not to.
I just did not know about this whole thing – being here [illegible word] new & baffling & question only [illegible word] very few things are starting
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BB-6-BBBBBBB3
to hit home to me – like the Holocaust for one – I have no idea who Jim is what power flows through him – I’m completely baffled – this is a time in my life when I’m emptying of old things & have not yet begun to fill with new – I have great anticipation & feel a sense of trust and comfort in knowing something very beautiful & good awaits.
6 – this ties in with the previous question – I don’t believe in God. I want to – but I was never really involved with ritual etc. I tried it somewhat – even went to the high Episcopal Church – but then left all that for a personal philosophy of “living my life as best I can” & not worrying further – I have always thought tho that Jesus was a truly good man – but cannot tie it all in to beyond this world –
I do believe & always have believed in a universal life force – vido – I think it’s called & I believe all things to be part of this universal flow – no death – just parts of everything – didn’t think too much about evolving sort of thing –
Guess that’s it – whoever you are – if you must be reminded I thank you for being so concerned about us little people – Sandy
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BB-6-JJJJJJJ
The only person I have had sex with for the last eight years has been J.
S. Bradshaw
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BB-6-NNNNNNN
My highest ambition is to die usefully in an effort to destroy Fascist America & our enemies (particularly those that have gone out.)
I have no use for any of my so-called relatives. None of them has any character or principle at all. They are Fascist, bigoted little people – I hate them and all they stand for – I would kill them in a minute for their insurance money.
I hate this Amerikkkan government and the pig-faced mother-fucker – the president – that says he leads it. I will do all I can to see that it comes down. I will not live in this country except to work towards its destruction!
Believe these words – cause they are written in truth –
Sandra L. Bradshaw