EE-2-a-1
Note to Jim Jones from Vivian Anderson, May 1978
26-5-78.
Vivian I. Anderson
Dear Dad
I think that you are hurt deep inside by these traitors who are conspiring to hurt this movement, when you have suffered so much to find this beautiful place for all of us and I [our] loved ones a place of beauty and freedom.
I also think that you are deeply hurt about the way we wasted money back in the States for things that we did not need. Money that was needed to buy food, clothing and many other items of need. Dad I feel much guilt because I am one of the guilty and I beg your forgiveness.
Also I feel that you are hurt because in trying to do the best thing to take care of all of us and to get the rest of us over here before it is too late there are many things that you could take care of if you could get out.
(Vivian Anderson)
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EE-2-a-2
Note to Jim Jones from Steve Addison, May 1978
Jim – Regarding Brian Davis
Months ago he and I were in the toilet. He said to me, “Well, Steve, I’ve been here 72 days.” I haven’t forgotten this because he said it in such an odd way. I think Brian said in a hostile or sarcastic and sad tone.
I write you this because you ask for negatives.
– Steve [Addison]
This happened before he and Tommy Bogue tried to leave Jonestown, and I see, I really see the need for the offense of the revolution now.
– Thank you Jim, thank you – Steve
08 May 78
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EE-2-a-3
Note to Jim Jones from Orelia Anderson, May 1978
Dear Dad You said for us to write in the things that we think that hurt the most. Things have got where every time you look around it is somebody turning traitor against the cause. You have [to] do so much for all of us.
I think we should get more thanks then to go out and lie on you. Man so I know after all you have feelings and it have to hurt some.
All I can do is feel sad and meditate on the ones that do wrong.
I think some of the things that hurts, we don’t turn out enough production like we should. Thanks Dad for our lovely home in the jungle.
Peace and love
Orelia Anderson D-4 Senior
5-27-78
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EE-2-a-4
Undated Thank You Note to Jim Jones from Darell Keller
Thank You!
Comrade Darell Keller
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EE-2-a-5a – 5b
Undated Note of Self-Evaluation to Jim Jones from Phyllis Chaikin [Bloom]
Self-evaluation
Dad – I am painfully an elitist – was always told it was wrong but am in spite of it. Hate religion – draw into my thoughts or fall asleep when it’s going on. Know why it’s necessary and appreciate your non-elitism in carrying people through it as a means to an end. Hate meetings [illegible word]. Like my job – Extension of my ego – like to build stuff – at one time building was a relationship with Gene [Chaikin] – Think of you as my leader – don’t like to be too close – but want your approval – Think of Mother as my mom – role model – your [you’re] too far developed for me to identify with very much – I resent you when you push me, but it has helped me to grow strong – Sexually – most attracted to Chaikin right now. Have mixed feelings behind it. Because of the six day war & wondering if a relationship will cut down my productivity – of the two the productivity is more important – Think about torture lack of sleep scarcely more than most pain things – when my brain gets scrambled I worry most about my behavior. Could not live with my conscience as a traitor.
Phyllis Bloom [Chaikin]
How about each week having a separate country to cover for news, 8 hours a day – I don’t think we are ready for it with our production needs being what they are – I don’t see people necessarily working harder. The med [medical] staff would need more people to cover the 24º … have to take from depts that are asking for staffing themselves.
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EE-2-a-6a – 6b
Undated Note to Jim Jones from Geneva Beal
[Editor’s note: The numerous spelling and grammatical errors in this note have been corrected.]
Geneva Beal age 57
the worst I see in me is that I take on least. Yet [I am] hostile when someone corrects me, go about doing my own thing, selfish, greedy, eat too much, steal, pick up things I know don’t belong to me. Don’t put in enough time with children. Don’t follow structure like I should. Do not discipline myself or give my own self structure [unintelligible word] with my comrades. Don’t show enough love or concern to my sisters or brothers.
Out of all this I give my life to this cause, I will never turn back, never want to go back to the States. I will find here or die here for what I believe in. Thank you Dad for your love and your socialist teaching.
Geneva Beal
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EE-2-a-7a – 7b
Undated Letter to Jim Jones from Elsie Bell
[Editor’s note: The numerous spelling and grammatical errors in this note have been corrected.]
Elsie Bell
I have to tell this because it’s a miracle I were not expecting, because I feel like the 8 years I have been with Jim Jones I have lived a lifetime. Last Friday a week ago I was admitted [to the] SCU [Special Care Unit]. At the time I could not turn to my left, I was losing the use of my left arm. I know it did not bother me. This is what I said to myself. Jim, I am not asking for anything because you have given me everything. If this is my time I am ready. Lay beside Lynetta Jones [Jim Jones’s mother]. I was talking to socialism and principal [principle], which is Jim Jones, and I related to rest, and forgot it. Yesterday 8-26 Larry [Schacht] gave me another test, it was gone, the stroke that would have paralyzed my whole left. What I am saying I did not want anything from Jim Jones because it seemed like he had done enough. I thank you Jim. I’ve been given another chance to work some more for socialism, and I am thankful. I thought I would share this with my comrades. I am grateful to dad and to the medical staff. We have so much to be grateful for. Just look around and see all the beauty, the lovely trees. I cannot recall the [illegible word] it is so much, the beautiful Guyanese babies that are in our community. Some comments guests, some are making their home here in our community. [Thank] you Jim for making all of this possible. Words cannot express my gratitudes. Jim we are not worthy of your love. I remember Pam Bradshaw’s letter. She is so right.
Thank you Jim.
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EE-2-a-8a -8b
Undated Letter to Jim Jones from Elsie Bell
[Editor’s note: The numerous spelling and grammatical errors in this note have been corrected.]
I Behold the Beauty of Jim Jones
I am in SCU [Special Care Unit]. I look around and all I can see and was beauty in my surrounding it peace contentment, the beauty of the loving care from the medical staff, good loving people around you seeing to your needs. I could not help to be grateful and thankful. Thank you Jim Jones, thank you thanks to Lynetta Jones [Jim Jones’s mother] made it all possible for this beautiful community. I am so glad to be a part of this community. Jim I am so sorry I do not rest as I should. I just go go I cannot do enough. I do feel guilt. Thanks to Jim Jones I don’t have to be like little Reggie and his grandmother in the golden years. No one to care what would become of me if Jim Jones did not love and care as he do. Thank you Jim. We all should be more grateful and loyal and followed Jim Jones’ example. I hope someday we will make. I hope will be soon the night before I went into S.U.C. I stood out at midnight, the moon were shining like day, I could see everything around me, the stars were so beautiful, the air were so peaceful. I watched the beautiful sunset the other evening, it look like it was setting in Jonestown. Just then I heard Jim say look at the beautiful sunset. Thanks [to] Jim we seniors don’t have to be like the seniors in the golden years no one cares. Which brings to the thought of how our brothers and sisters in Africa are fighting and struggling for their freedom and also the little babies that are in [illegible word]. Just know that seniors and a lot of innocent people are being destroyed at the hands of the capitalist, which is the US. How anyone could even think about going back to the US, I don’t know, and I don’t understand anyone prefer the US to Jonestown. We have everything to be grateful for. All we have, everything to gain and nothing to lose but our chains, thanks to Jim Jones.
Words cannot express how I feel [about] the care we get in SCU, we poor Blacks and Whites could not get it in the US.
I am so grateful.
Thank you Jim.
Also thank you for teaching us all socialism and communism.
Thank you, Elsie Bell
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EE-2-a-9a – 9b
Undated Letter to Jim Jones from Shirley Baisey
To – Dad
From – Shirley Baisey
I have never written up anything to you before, but I feel quite upset about the situation involving my son, Jerry Wilson. I’m not trying to get him off of Public Service because I feel he needs to be there, needing the structure, but I was given some information which changes the picture of what happened.
Tommy Bogue came to me two nights after the incident on the floor and told me it was fucked up by the way Glenda Polite did Jerry. He said he was going to break up with her because she’s always in Jerry’s face & other guys too. He incinuated to me that Glenda provokes guys to approach her because she leads them on. I then asked Tommy why he didn’t say this on the floor. He said he was prepared to hit anyone who tried to hit Jerry because Glenda made an issue of this petty situation & he felt he should go down with Jerry because it was wrong – yet he didn’t speak out. He claimed all this sympathy & friendship towards Jerry but didn’t bother to speak up that night. On one occasion Linda even came to me looking [for] Jerry. I’m not trying to justify what Jerry did but Glenda gave him an obvious invitation & her own boyfriend sees this & is upset about it. I feel bad because Jerry has the reputation of being a rapist from the first incident with Patty McCoy & now Glenda made it look like he tried to rape her. Patty told me that Jerry did not force her into sex (but he still had no right to take advantage of a girl her age). I know Jerry’s a big liar and manipulator but I feel Glenda came out looking real good when she instigated the situation. Patty told me she went to Jerry’s house to talk to him & she asked to go in. She took it upon herself to sit on his bed. I asked her if Jerry pulled her clothes off & she said no. Then I asked her what happened then? She said, “It just happened.” I’m not trying to dig up the past but I feel these two situations are relevant to each other. Dad, I’m worried about Jerry & want to know if you think he is a rapist. If so how can we help him? I’ve been very concerned because it seems both my sons Jerry & Jamal need to live under strict structure & I loose sleep at night worrying if this will go on all their lives. I wonder if Jamal has a mental problem? All this is bothering me & affecting my comprehension of news, etc. Thank you for all you’ve done for us. I am truly greatful to you. I just feel that the whole truth didn’t come out about Jerry & I wanted to tell you about it. During all this discussion I’ve not been perfect myself. I eat like a pig. I have not lost weight worth a dam. This does not justify me not cooperating with the diet.
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EE-2-a-10a – 10b
Letter to Marceline Jones from Barbara, unknown stateside woman, August 1978
1067 W. Fremont St.
Pomona, CA 91766
3 August 78
Dear Marci –
Thank you very much for the pictures. My sons really look good.
I know, you know, how much those pictures mean to me. I carry them with me most of the time.
Please let me know when Cheryl, Kenya, Dorothy Daniels (Charles’ mother) & I can come. I would like to know how old Kenya should be. If it’s going to be a few months from now, I will plan to go to Trinidad so that I can take care of the business regarding the property. I hope I did not wait too long. Then I would have to plan my trip to Guyana when the time is right. I want so much to see my sons. Also, I would like to bring a young man who is just like a son to me. He’s eleven years old. He went to quite a few meetings with us and would like to come with me. Would that be possible. His name is Lamont. Please let me know, so I will know what to do.
Love, Barbara
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EE-2-a-11
Undated Note to Jim Jones from Karl Barnett
[Editor’s note: The numerous spelling and grammatical errors in this note have been corrected.]
Karl H. Barnett
While away in Georgetown, for two (2) weeks, I feel that my performance work and attitude was average in that every duty or responsibility I was asked to do I feel that I follow through with a good response. There was an evaluation made on myself made by Edith Bogue saying in short that she felt I was lazy and had to be asked to help her while she would be unloading the van, but she said I was not as bad as some. This was discussed in a council session with Mother present where I disagreed with her because I didn’t feel she was around me that much to come to that conclusion. This was work out there. I feel that the Georgetown house would work a lot better if more evaluation were made by every person staying in the house, maybe even on a daily basis. This way evaluation could be compared and not one person look like the bad guy. My mistake was I should have been making evaluation myself. Instead of taking on such a responsibility, I was trying to make sure my shit was in order.
Karl H. Barnett
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EE-2-a-12a – 12b
Undated Letter to Jim Jones from Shawn [Shabaka] Baker
From Shabaka Baker
To Dad,
First I would like to thank you for that meeting last night. Because it got me to learn more about myself. I’ll just get right to the point. What I wanted to say was, in the first part of the meeting, when people got up to say why they wanted to go back. Well, the reason why I said I wanted to be here because this is the only place where I learned to look at myself. To look at every selfish thing I do and try to change get. I will give just one thing that I did and that can (stop). One day I was going to the bathroom and their was no paper so young child offered me some paper not big enough to wipe your ass on. So I said I don’t need that and walked away. Then I thought about that and I said, wouldn’t if there was a child who needed someone to except [accept] something that they give. So in order for me not to make that mistake again. In the child of the wants to give me something big or small I’ll except it ‘cause it could be a child that needs someone to take what they give. Another is when I am hostal should I take that hostility out on a senor [senior] or a child? No, and I have done that. But most of all, Dad, is to care is what I’m working on. Because I can’t be no kind of revolutionary unless I learn how [to] care for people. Because when you care. You hate lucky imperialism and the suffering people go through. I’m not a real revolutionary like you. But if I learn how to care strong enough and hate the oppressor, that might turn into revolutionary love. And that might make a revolutionary. Thank you very much. Hope it wasn’t too long, didn’t want to write a book.
Shabaka Baker
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EE-2-a-13a
Statement of Joe Beam [Joseph Helle III], July 1978
JOSEPH BEAM:
RE: REGARDING MY LIFE IN JONESTOWN KIND OF MY PERSONAL THOUGHTS OR IDEAS ON WHERE I “STAND” AND FURTHERMORE THE FACT OF WHERE I STAND ON, OF EVER BEING A TRAITOR TO THIS MOVEMENT
Two points that I would say concern my background in the United States was that of anarchy and elitism. Because in the States, I (before I was in Peoples Temple), did my own thing whereas I went to movies and wasted money and did those kinds of things; concerning my life in Jonestown, first I must say that all I want to do is to be one of the workers for this movement. I know that I have also show chauvinism in my job at the library (that I previously have wrote to you). My thoughts or ideas on living a structured life, is just that meaning… There is no room whatsoever for elitism or chauvinism, more so there is no room for anarchists here in Jonestown. Where I stand concerning traitors, and the fact would I ever be a traitor: first I must say being that I am handicapped, (now that may mean nothing, being handicapped) but I can only say that first of all I would go against all my own thinking of everything I ‘stood for’ or believed, when I say the words (‘stood for’) (what I mean is everything I believed whereas you are my Leader. I would and will not become a traitor to this movement even in my so-called handicap state, because I have absolutely no ideas or thoughts of ever being a traitor, the only concern I have toward living, speaking of myself, in my position is the work for this movement and do the best I can. I spoke to my dad Jack Beam a few weeks ago about the situation of ‘death’ – I told him that I never really thought about committing revolutionary suicide or even of ever thinking about it. I also explained to us my so-called dad, that I was afraid of even the thought of torture and then I would not ever want to talk. Of course I know this much that from my being in hospitals most of my life, I know somewhat, what pain is. Jack explained to me that concerning revolutionary suicide, what would happen is that someone (speaking of the mercenaries) would have to shoot me, if they wanted me dead. My answer to Jack was just this: I would be relieved if I could or can have that done!
Concerning the subject of intellectualism:
I would never be an intellectual because although I am one time had an IQ so called, I only know that the knowledge I have it is in no way (even being my IQ was a high one), close in any way, to a person who is a so-called philosopher. An example of this is people like Mike Cartmell or even of Tim Stoen or Jim Cobb.
[Type marginal note: “Re: To make this short and to the point: I do not want to go back to the States whatsoever. Furthermore just thinking, I look at it this way, from all of the anarchistical people and of the people that have went against this movement, my only thought, it is to at least help to keep this movement going, because my only other thought would be to die here, for something I believe in!”]
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EE-2-a-13b
CIA: Since World War II – They have killed 6300 people
7-11-78: For test on the tape of Dad:
Re: Concerning people’s attitudes of doing one thing when they are really afraid of facing themselves; mouthing off and couples not showing socialist commitments; talking socialism, but not living it; there is one point that you spoke of concerning when someone goes with a girl or woman (whoever that might be) the “sister” may or could have children, and that the man or guy whoever it might be, “he” will totally forget the children. / You spoke of people wanted to go back to fight our enemies or go to America and help fight the revolution there, that is bullshit. There are people that want to go back to the capitalist system. Then again there are those who speak of being guerrillas and fighting in guerrilla warfare.
People talking about their relatives – back there that are on dope, you pointed out that if you were ready to fight you would be concerned about the children and the building of Jonestown. / Dad also pointed out that he has gave us 6 months of food supply, which costs $675,000, 1/3 of a million dollars. Concerning the people talking about the relatives, that are not in the cause but not considering what all you have done. Dad has gave us free medical care.
[Handwritten additional notes: “Beef 79% up the scale!
Family concepts = a reality
Our children have more love here in Jonestown. I have no concern for my so-called dad whatsoever because he always thought with my so-called mom and even left after divorcing – he didn’t and doesn’t mean anything to me; I haven’t seen him for 23 or more years. You spoke of the 17% rise in food.
California has passed Prop 13.
Jimmy Ingrahm’s plus voted for this. 800 people have lost jobs in San Francisco. Jimmy lost his job.
US is tired of supporting Blacks – Chicanos – Browns. This is the best place to be.
Dad spoke of Senator Brooke!
Dad spoke [of] his comrade = Steve Beko [Biko] – Martin L. King!
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EE-2-a-14a
Statement on Jim Jones’ Pain from Juanita Bogue, May 1978
27-5-78
Juanita Bogue
Your Pain
Dad,
Some of the reasons I think you feel pain. First is your physical pain in your throat because you have to talk almost 24 hours a day. And some days you have to take 24 hours out of the day. And then your arthritis. Because in the first Alpha you have people hold you up so that you could talk to us and help you walk around because you are in so much pain.
And then I guess you would call it mental pain. Because you talk and tell us so much about the news and the pain and torture that people in S. Africa, Zambia, Zaire, and so on have to go through and we could be helping. But it seems like we don’t learn or just don’t listen. And so these are some of the reasons I think you feel pain.
—–
EE-2-a-14b
Letter to Jim Jones from Juanita Bogue, May 1978
27-5-78
Juanita Bogue
My Guilt
Dad,
What I feel the most guilt is that when I was in the states, I would make excuses so that I wouldn’t have to work, as [or] give as much time as I should and because of that not all of our family is not here.
And also I was not as responsible as I should have been and so I was one of the first people to come. And I should have stayed and worked longer.
I wasted money. I bought clothes I didn’t need, I when [went] to shows too often, eight in restaurants. And now another guilt that I must feel is that the taxes from all of this is exploiting and torturing Third World people.
—–
EE-2-a-15
Undated Note to Jim Jones from Julie Birkley
[One-page illegible note]
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EE-2-a-16a
Letter to Jim Jones from Elsie Bell
[Editor’s note: Insofar as is possible, the numerous spelling and grammatical errors in this note have been corrected. Several sentences remain unintelligible – even if the intent may be more clear – but have been transcribed as written.]
Note from Elsie Bell
6-5-78
Dear Dad. I have to continue to let you know how grateful I am to be out of USA and to be here in Jonestown, Guyana. I have always wanted to come to South America. I did not see where I would ever make it. Thank you Dad, and I am grateful to be here. As I said before I can walk the walk of Jonestown the rest of my life. It’s nothing outside of Jonestown that interests me at all. I have everything, or should I say, we have everything. Thank you for another chicken dinner on yesterday. Words cannot express my gratitude, Dad, the pain and hurt in my small way. When I see so many of my comrades are not grateful as they should be. I thank you for your teaching and structure. I am trying to become a good communist. Thank you, Dad. Jonestown it is a beautiful sight to behold. Each and every day, Dad, if [I] had known you in my early childhood I would have made it. But I need you now. I am committed by life to find a revolutionary. I think about Victor Jara, Martin Luther King, Paul Robeson, Malcolm X, Medgar Evers. They all gave their lives for black struggle. Speaking of struggle, my most horrified struggles were in Mississippi. It’s too painful to talk about some of my pain reply my own people, the middle class. Blacks can be cruel, oh so cruel, it hurt me so bad when I see the young misusing your love,
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EE-2-a-16b
it’s hard to take. I was kicked from place to [place] by my own mother, she did not even want me, she rejected me, I still had to live with her until I ran away from home. I was destroyed then before I went out in the world. No education, lived in the woods of Arkansas all my life on a farm. Never been to the city in my life when I landed in Vicksburg, Mississippi, the worst racist city in US. Arkansas born and raised, [unintelligible phrase] I did not know where to turn. My friend was gone. My grandmother so loving to me also a slave. I was determined to self educate myself the best I could, read and studying everything I could get my hands on, knowledge I could [get] my hands on. Every subject I overcame now like I have because I have a great leader. I have traveled a many painful road to get to Jonestown, Guyana. The experience I had in the struggle it was worth it all. [Illegible word] with Johnny Harrish. As I said before I have seen Johnny Harrish all through the South in my family, my mother, friends, their loved ones. [Illegible words] that was before they [used] the electric chair, they were lynching then. I look at this black preacher was invalid, I wonder what would become of the world then. I did not see no end to this madness. I did not know I would meet Jim Jones to liberate us.
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EE-2-a-16c
Pelob [unknown community], Mississippi. I know where it is. A small town in the Delta of Mississippi people living in the ghettos, improper housing, sharecroppers work for nothing, hungry babies, seniors with not enough to eat, just far as you can all see nothing but shacks to live in, only one big white house that is the farm boss, no blacks are allowed on the main streets of that little town, only to shop and have to go back to the black neighborhood. Is that all over the South for the Blacks in every city or town the only in the South in USA and Africa is more Blacks in South Africa, they don’t have a stamp on their arm in US. I would like to tell that to President Carter in person myself in South Africa I can just picture the babies that are suffering, seniors, refugees without homes, nowhere to stay. In my small way I miss lunch at noon. Who am I to have 3 meals a day when my black sisters don’t have anything not even a place to stay. I remarked to get to Senator (Eastland), President Carter, Rockefeller. I would cut their throats myself. Especially Senator Eastland, all the blacks he has destroyed including my son and others. I personally would put the Trilateral Commission laws down their throats. Dad I am still grateful, grateful to be here in Jonestown. Thank you Dad
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EE-2-a-17
Letter to Jim Jones from Maxine Betts
[Editor’s note: The numerous spelling and grammatical errors in this note have been corrected.]
5/8/78
Dear Jim,
I thank you for an opportunity to attend school it has been one of my deepest desires. I am learning each day to appreciate more the highest example you have set for us.
I have no desire or want to be anywhere else but, here in this cause. I know and have begun to take part in the work that is necessary to get this work over here done; I’m glad you told us what was to come because I’m not afraid or upset by our outside enemies.
I know you and Marcie& family are in the best of health. I will not cause you to use valuable time anymore, I am very sorry. The communication has changed and things are going smoothly. I know you present one with all of us here, please help us to help each other, because it is so necessary in these times. If anything troubles me, I will write you. Hello to my true family.
Peace, Maxine [Betts]
[Photocopy of a report card from City College of San Francisco]
These are my midterm grades
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Undated Statement on Tim Stoen from Dorothy Brewer
EE-2-a-18
“The Clean Getaway”
The perfect plan to destroy Tim Stoen
Have me or one of our members infiltrate Tim’s circle, kill Tim or poison capsule, stay with the group for at least a month, Frame a Killing for the person from our group can’t mess up there face with a shotgun, bury them and the person from our group actually gets away because what [illegible word] place is.
The man who owns a funeral home does not bury someone (and I know someone who would do this) and this some one becomes the person who is shot and unidentifiable. The unidentified person would be me/or whoever chosen for the job that I could return/for whoever, to Guyana under another name free. There would be a clean getaway. If for some reason the plan failed and [2 illegible words] be made then you go down fighting – I wouldn’t mind dying that way.
Dorothy Brewer
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EE-2-a-19
Undated Thank You Note to Jim Jones from Tom Beikman
To Dad:
I thank you for giving me the privilege to going to Georgetown on our new boat! I will do all I can to help while I’m their. I want you to know I apprecheat your loving concern for me and everone hear in Jonestown.
Thank You Dad! Tom Beikman
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EE-2-a-20
Undated Statement by Selika Bordenave
The advantages of living in a socialist country all have the same thing. First we have the best of medical care and the best of doctors. We don’t have to worry about nurses pulling cords out the wall. After all we are together, one for all and all for one.
Hospitals charge everyone the same thing.
We really live as a family. All races living as one race. We look out for each other.
Thank You Dad
Selika Bordenave
—–
EE-2-a-21
Undated Letter to Jim Jones from Teri Buford
Jim:
Perhaps I speak with the irrationality that comes to someone who only knows each day if you are dead or alive by waiting on each additional installment of the news. Or perhaps that makes me strangely more realistic than others. I cannot judge. So I continue – one breath at a time until the inevitable comes and a situation which is already bad becomes suddenly worse. I don’t know if I will ever see you alive again – nor you me for that matter. I believe that life is without hope and that man is unperfectable yet I maintain that I am not a fascist – though I must admit I find fascism more agreeable than anarcy – the ultimate in human greed. I believe in this cause not due to attachments but rather because I sincerely believe in you, respect you and your ideal – and that is it – I don’t stay because I erroneously believe that you trust me or like me because I don’t believe either to be the case. I feel close to you in my loneliness – not loneliness in the sense of needing people but rather the aloneness of decision-making – moral decisions that I am incapable of and lean on you entirely for. I don’t envy your life and I can see the charades that have to go on here to maintain the peace. As you know I have no respect whatsoever for the bedroom revolutionaries around here who claim such great love for you yet won’t leave your side long enough to pull an honest days work – but I also know that you have to do it or this organization would be torn apart. It is utterly tragic to see probably the most creative mind of the century held captive by a bunch of selfish – self-centered people. It makes me hostile and sick – but I don’t have to go through it – you do and I do sincerely feel sorry for your role. – Just a note – I have never told you the final strategy that I have in mind if the time should come that something is about to happen to you – I have thrown ideas to you that are slight variations of parts of the real theme but for the obvious reason that to protect me you would sabotage the whole thing – so for that reason I just wanted you to know that I would not do that unless I thought you were dying and further you couldn’t sabotage it as of now because I have told no one what the real plan is. (though the end result will be the same). I have pledged what is left of my life to allowing you a death with dignity. I hope that something decent comes out of getting a new bunch of lawyers – if not there are other routes – but the only thing I want to accomplish in life just to give you a death with dignity and that is all that is important to me anymore. Hopefully I will see you again – If not I wanted you to know I have no regrets whatsoever other than I wish I had done it better and more conscientious job and I wish I had not so often given into my greatest enemy – pettyness. However – I have no regrets and I’m grateful our children did not have to live this hell – respectfully – Teri
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EE-2-a-22a – 22b
Undated Letter to Marceline Jones from Mary Black
Dear Mother –
I would very much like to hear from you how you feel about me going abroad. I came here to avoid being the cause of trouble to the Family and have heard nothing from PT. I would like to know if things are cleared up and if I can go. I would like to be of service – not trouble.
Is it possible to go from here or is it necessary for me to come to SF? I have not been sending anything because I didn’t have anything to send. My license is not valid here. Love to all. Mary Black
[Photocopy of envelope to Mrs. Marceline Jones, from Mary Love Black, Philadelphia]
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EE-2-a-23a
Undated Letter to Jim Jones from Pam Bradshaw
Dad –
There’s so many things about people that I just don’t understand. I could never see how they can be so cruel and unfeeling about so many things. After watching the movie “Hearts and Minds” – I just can’t conceive of a person being so calloused that they could watch the pain of a child who’s skin is burned and pealing off, and not feel something. I feel so guilty about living in America with my apathy and paying my taxes, knowing that it did the things that god damn fascist country did to those beautiful people who never even shed a tear as the mother fucking American soldiers kicked and beat them. And then when the movie was over I felt like someone was sitting on my chest, just from how heavy the movie was. But the thing that just really got next to me was after the movie people were talking, laughing and carrying on like they just finished watching the
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EE-2-a-23b
Saturday night entertainment show. And I thought what’s the use? How can we ever achieve the goal of building a sensitive caring society when that apparently affected so few people. Then to think about everyday things like the way people destroy and abuse property – the people’s property – walk on plants that grow our food. I’m sorry to sound so negative, but I’m trying to express how sad I feel to you and no one else, not even to Ken. People only use one another to get what they want, then when they’re through with you, they discard you like used toilet paper. That’s why I don’t have friends, only acquaintances that I’ll speak to in passing. Ken’s games are minimal compared to most. I’ll play them because I need someone. All this makes me see even more clearly how much – how very much you love us. I don’t understand why you do – why you continue and continue to try to build something beautiful out of all of us little piles of shit. Your endless patience, love,
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EE-2-a-24c
kindness, compassion and socialistic principle completely amazes me. Like I said I don’t understand how you continue – only because it’s right to do so? I only know that I’m glad you do care the way you do. At least I have the comfort, for the first time in my life, that there is someone who won’t desert me, or hurt me. I only wish I could be half as good and sensitive as you. I wish I could say I love you but you are the only one capable of love – I can only need, and need you I do. Thank you for continuing to stand for what is right when all of us seem to only hinder your progress rather than help.
From one of the little piles of shit.
Pam Bradshaw