Undated Letter to Jim Jones from Shirlee Fields
EE-2-e-1a
[Editor’s note: The numerous spelling and grammatical errors in this note have been corrected.]
Dear Dad:
I am about the work of my Father. I have learned that I’m guilty of lies, untruths, passivity, and the missing of the herb situation. I do not believe that I did not do it myself. I have resisted structure and have taken advantage of my fellow co-workers. I did not have the gumption to confront them to their face and have not done my work in that area. I have been building myself up and have been dishonest. I do not have the sense to finish things I start, and I start a lot of things. I have taken on two other assignments this week, one for Sharon [Cobb] Jones, and one for Larry Schacht. They both asked me to help in the diet department. I did not finish the one diet for the special assignment and it still needs to be finished as to the reasons for and research. I have somehow got to stand up for something I have been working to the detriment of the department rather than for the benefit. I have been turned around and I let it happen. I had gone to a lot of people and only confused myself. I hope and [to] change. I will. I have gotten very nervous over this situation. When I started the herb situation both Fannie [Ford] and Ernestine [Blair] when I pushed them to work with getting things done, they said don’t get nervous Shirlee. I can’t help getting nervous and sometimes worried, I don’t know why, but there is a nervous tension with me at work. I feel at the herb kitchen. Now that it has been remodeled it should change. Also I don’t carry through my projects. I have assessed the last few months and also this stems way back several months. I have had a pattern of also good and bad follow-through. I have I guess a lot of anarchism that I was not copping to. I see that I have not changed a whole lot, but now as long as I can look at it, very painful, maybe I can change. Sometimes I do look at the long way ahead, I hope that I can change enough to bring some good to the collective. It takes being in the right job. I have had to supervise and I do fall back to the not wanting to be a bad guy. My workers worked very hard and I do not seem to have the right to push them. John Harris has been very hard on me and also Tish [Leroy] has been hard on me. But I have deserved it. I do not know why the herb situation hadn’t gotten farther lately. Even through thick and thin there has been a commeradery [camaraderie]. No one has been goofing off. They are super and I seem to see things differently and I sometimes wonder why I am out of touch. Lately I know things are now not what they used to be. I need to have something to change my follow-through. That is satisfaction. I want to produce but my mind closes off things. There is also a lot of nervous tension. I know I have to let you take the helm and not do that which is my pattern along. I know that you have been talking about my narcissism, and I’m ashamed that I have went into myself so much to learn what a fuck-up and how selfish. I have been childish and not wanted to take responsibility. I felt blocked in action a lot. I thought due to others that they blocked me but it’s really been my own mind that produced. I’ve told a lot of half-truths. I found myself doing it again tonight and I realized that they were so. I did not realize that information has to be shared. I’m so sorry that I didn’t listen to you that night after the meeting. I was confronted you were kind. Ever since Don [husband Don Fields] came off the public service I have been paranoid about going on. I must say in response to Tish and John that they have been very helpful, and at times very kind, as it’s been a heavy assignment. How come I’m such an asshole and everyone else is OK? I need to answer that for myself. I’m trying to think of others and be kind.
I wrote this several days ago and now today when things are changing. I realized that you’ve known and worked through this whole situation and the position and its false values. Thank you Dad. I need to finish a lot of things I’ve let go and piles annow [and now?] I don’t know how to finish them. I’m finally working at organizing. I have courage but I don’t exercise. Now John Harris is organizing the herb situation and I’m somehow to work it out. There’s a lot of untied ends. I’ve seen a lot of faith that I have to work it out but I can no longer do it alone, my ego’s been carrying me along but it’s a mess. I can’t stand my huge ego. I realistically have to release it to you because it is holding me back. I’m not very productive now and I forget things and I need to stop this, be productive
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EE-2-e-1b
I forget things and I need to stop this faking and face the truth. I need to grow up and stop avoiding, consistently. Please help me to get on the right tract [track]. I need to not kid around if there is notification I am not afraid of hard work, I just don’t like acting as an elitist. You’ve gotten away ways to, I do not communicate well and listen even less. I’ve not listen to those who suffered so much. I was also so worried by about your own ass, and ran like the old capitalistic – you said to be introspective. I’ve had a lot of privileges – maybe selfish to as for the children. I had no right to be supervising – those who did the work [several unintelligible words] be supervising they know how and I didn’t because they were supposed to survive in the other system. They had to eat what the honkeys shoveled out. Gad, what insensitivity! Thank you dad for the insight. I never said I would be sorry – but now I’ve said it so much lately everyone seems to not believe me because I do the same things over and over again.
I’ve realized that I need to forgive and let things go and not hold onto them. My so-called mom did that consistently and she held up so much resentment. I thought of going to a new crew and back they need to release instead of carrying it with me. Maybe I should stay with my own field, nutrition. Only you can tell.
Peace. Shirlee Fields
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Reflection on Jim Jones’ Pain from Leslie Wagner Wilson, May 1978
EE-2-e-2a
From Leslie Fortier [Wagner Wilson]
26-5-78
Pain
To Dad,
One of the most frequent pain that you are confronted with most is (1) the pain of no one but you really caring – Not only about us but about all people. (2) You struggling so hard here, and we who don’t even love liberation enough to liberate ourselves. People who have walked with you, seen your ultimate example and character, yet betraying you to turn into vicious and hateful people. You always giving your all but never receiving any change in return. (3) Realizing that you’re the only one who is a true and dedicated Marxist-Leninist. No one else would make themselves a prisoner here cutting yourself from specialized medical care that you need & not being able to participate in helping with the liberation of other 3rd World struggles. For years I have seen you give, sacrifice, giving yourself, sleeping with men and women to save this group and not accepting bribes of millions of $ – no one but you would do that. It’s painful I know to put up with this seeing people on so
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EE-2-e-2b
many different levels of consciousness. Still not all on the right level. Pleading, pouring your heart out only in the next hours learning of a new traitor. Not being able to trust anyone but yourself completely. You always being the peacemaker, the one who always gave chances – only to be stabbed in the back. How much more can you take and will you? Not being able to spend the proper time with your own children that they so much deserve, because you have at all times included all of us on vacations – and people always fucking up so you can’t. You are the only one that feels. So many times I’d say, “how does he do it?” Yet you keep on. Worrying about how much more $ we need, yet we don’t even work hard enough or show that we care. Those are pains I feel you endure. Also the terrible physical problems you endure that no one else would. We for the most part don’t want to deal with pain so that’s a lot of sickness. That’s a lot of what you go through. Also realizing you’re the only one with the courage to stand tall for Socialism. Thank you. I will try to make it easier for dedicating myself more.
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EE-2-e-3a
Letter to Jim Jones from Hue Fortson, May 1978
May 24, 1978
Dear Dad,
I was wondering if Rhonda [Fortson] could approach one of the policemen in the Brickdam Police department. She goes there were new people come into the country. I think she would get what information she could even if she had to submit to sex. She and I have talked about what if she had to be screwed or even if I would have to do it was a man. We once made an agreement with one another that one when one day we may have to accept what little sexual appeal we have for the cause. [Marginal note by Sharon Amos: “He has a high opinion of his sexual appeal.”] From the way she has changed since 9 months ago in San Francisco
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EE-2-e-3b
she looks me in the eye now and tells me what she thinks. I noticed her in dealing with the men in Georgetown she was more willing to give then an argument than I was because I didn’t know our public relations and how important the men were to us. I’m sure that she knows that I understand fully what she has to do for the cause.
Hue
[Note at bottom of page 2 added by Sharon Amos]
I don’t think she knows herself well enough. She’s still too passive & I think she compensated with a man at our open house, talking to him alone – when she could have involved others in the conversation – She does have a cooperative attitude in the house – I just don’t think she could handle a sexual thing. Sharon
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Undated Note to Jim Jones from Jann Gurvich
EE-2-f-1a – 1b
To Jim
Fr: Jann G. [Gurvich]
I want to sincerely apologize for the class tonight. I tried to do what you told me, show your leadership and revolutionary work. The class was structured in this way. I showed 4 common failures of revolutionary leaders: not having tight control of the military, nationalism, lack of familiarity with the people, in the problem of anti-authoritarianism (which I took from an essay of Engels). From this we discussed leadership and what was required of us as followers. The material was poorly presented and the main problem was that I was not really into it – I lacked commitment and understanding to give this topic a really powerful and effective presentation. This reflects on my low level of socialist consciousness and I really have to look at myself. The fact that I can discuss Marxism and politics but cannot adequately discuss you the leader shows elitism and intellectual detachment which is characteristic of a bourgeois intellectual. Again, I apologize. When I present this to the ones who did not hear it tonight, I will really think it through.
Thank you for all the encouragement you give me though I do not deserve it. Also, I want to let you know that I intend to go back to the fields as soon as I can arrange a part-time teaching schedule with the junior high.
Again, I apologize.
Jann Gurvich
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Undated, Unsigned Note to Jim Jones
EE-2-f-2
Jim
“Mr. [illegible name] concluded that a family of four must be classified as poor if it’s annual income falls under $3000 and an individual income falls under $1500 … it is clear that at least 105 million people or 50% of the population (US) live below the poverty line.” pg 252, from The Enemy by Felix Green.
Small wonder they were afraid of [Martin Luther] King
[Note at on book page in different handwriting, likely by Larry Layton]
Just a quote you might find of interest. Larry L.
P.S. Perhaps we should send a cassette with Don Freed remarks to Burnham & other friends
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Undated Self-Evaluation by Amondo Griffith
EE-2-f-3a – 3b
From Amondo G. [Griffith]
My self evaluation. I felt that when I first got to Georget[own] everything was going fine, no complaints, going out every day checking on charcoal. After that I started doing procurement. At first everything was going fine. I went out to Linden for three days, made about 600 dollars, came back feeling very good knowing that I did something. I was never too good and procurement but that three days in Linden showed me that I could do it. Got back to GT, made about 30 dollars about two or three days later. Started going down I felt defeated when people was not giving. I am sorry dad that I did good work in some things but bad in another that when my attitude came I felt bad about not making enough money but I kept it to myself. Hear the same every day about not making enough money. I blew up at Maria [Katsaris], but after I felt bad so I went back to her and we talked about it and got it straight. That the only time I gave a straight attitude.
Dad about giving mother [Marceline how jones] no respect. It’s not true, I don’t care what who say, it’s not when mother asks for something I did it. Feel I have a good attitude with mother.
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EE-2-f-4a
Reflection on Dick Tropp’s Letter from Pauline Groot
Letter to Jim Jones from Pauline Groot
Jim, about Dick Tropp’s letter, everything he said about himself applies to me except the willingness to be shot. If I was shopping my usefulness was up, I’d feel exploited, use, and mad.
How somebody can betray as a potential traitor, I know how but it’s hard to explain. The closest comparison is leprosy. A leper can cut his hand to the bone just by accident because the brain does not feel with the hand is going through. A traitor can hurt us, our anybody, because of not feeling for what others are going through. Call it moral leprosy. Debbie [Blakey] can do anything, and she will because she does not feel for anybody else.
Me, there’s no way I’d ever leave Johnstown of my own free will. I know too much about the cruelty of the USA. But if I was kidnapped and tortured, I’d talk. On a more immediate level, I’ve been daydreaming when I should have been studying. I don’t trust myself. The only way I act right is with structure around my ass. On the other hand, I’ve improved my behavior quite a bit since coming to Jonestown. If I grow fast enough, maybe I’ll grow to be able to take pain before it really comes down.
I used to assume that moral leprosy was the normal human condition – “each man his own prisoner, in solitary confinement for life.” – The psychologists call it anomie. I grew up among the atomic bomb scientists, and every single one had this quality. I guess that’s how they could make bombs. I thought that was just how people were. I still think that a lot of people have moral leprosy, completely, and a lot more have a case which is complete except for a few relatives or close friends. When you wonder how Debbie could endanger black people with her racist lies, I think you’re naïve; she doesn’t give a shit about a bunch of black strangers and never will. I wish you knew that, your strategy would be better. And if you knew and believed that people like Debbie are perfectly normal on this plane, you might be able to reassure her mother Lisa [Layton]. Debbie isn’t any worse than a lot of people in this movement; she just happened to get the one set of circumstances that would cause her to go. Or at least, Lisa might be better able to endure if she thought so.
I also think you make a tactical mistake, telling everybody you don’t understand people like Debbie. It contributes to people thinking they know more than you, they can get around you, changing the strategy you lay down, etc.
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EE-2-f-4b
You’d be better off asking somebody with an established record of paranoia to explain how people could be so evil. Jeff Carey is paranoid enough, and so am I. I’m going to start telling you what I think you’re being idealistic and naïve. Even if I’m wrong.
I think you’re naïve to imagine people will realize your goodness. It’s like a radio broadcast; no matter how loud and clear, people won’t pick it up unless they’re tuned to the same vibration. Communists might pick it up. To people who don’t understand communism, you’re going to appear as a devil come to destroy their world, or a confusing, frightening, unpredictable mixture of good and evil, or stupid or crazy, or some combination of those ideas. You need to know this when you plan strategy. You can reasonably hope the Communists will see you as another communist (maybe) and recognize you as good; if anybody else does, you should treat it as a pleasant surprise.
You got this far without being recognized as good I’m more than a fraction of Jonestown, so it must be possible to build without necessarily being recognized. As to what you actually are building on, it’s a sort of trade-off. It’s as unstable as building on sand. I know I’ve thought along these lines, and I suspect a lot of other people did too – “Well, this is a better situation than living outside in America, so I’ll do enough work and show enough obedience to stay in the group and keep out of trouble.” I believe this is the attitude of 9/10 of Jonestown. You should expect treason, not be so shocked and shook up by it. People with that attitude don’t have much loyalty to break, and it’s very easily broken.
This does not necessarily mean that all your work is in vain. For instance, I didn’t understand communism, I didn’t understand what the hell you were talking about until after I came here and saw it and lived it for a while. And I call myself smart. Others will probably be getting the message, one by one. Some will, and some won’t.
I think you were naïve not to recognize long ago that a lot of people are afraid of you, including many in Jonestown. You want tuned to fear, and you don’t pick up on it; but hate and fear are two sides of the same coin. Every time somebody hates you,
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EE-2-f-4c
and doesn’t come to you and talk it out, they are also afraid of you
People don’t remember your goodness, you’ve got to remember that. When you do something necessary like demanding work, people don’t just hate you, they’re afraid of you too. They don’t understand what you’re doing or why it’s necessary. What they do see is, you’re causing them trouble and inconvenience now, you are likely to cause more in the future, they can’t predict when or why: so they’re afraid.
When I tried to express this about myself personally, you thought I had gone crazy. I’m telling you now that I believe 9/10 of Jonestown is afraid of you and will continue to be afraid until they get a full understanding of communism, which may take years if it ever happens. If you don’t believe me, ask people to write up to you how much of they’re afraid of you. But have the doctor on hand before you read the answers, because the answers will break your heart.
People under a capitalist boss are usually much more afraid, and with much more reason. You haven’t caused the fear, capitalism caused it, you just kind of inherited the fear when you took the role of leader. People resent you because you look physically like a white person – right? You learned to live with that. This is another emotion that you get and don’t deserve. I also believe that if you recognize clearly that it exists you will be able to strategize around it, and have a much better chance of actually reaching people by knowing what is the obstacle in the way. If you think people aren’t afraid of you, just because you love them, you’re too naïve.
You are naïve when you told me, “People’s Temple will accept you.” To make a flat, blanket statement that way, it just isn’t so. You could have said, “People’s Temple is more accepting than anywhere else,” or “You’ll find more warmth, more friendship, and less hassling here than anywhere else,” or something like that. But there is no person completely accepted by everybody in Jonestown. It’s naïve to think there could be when we all grew up in capitalism, and I hope you won’t make a flat statement like that very often. I got my hopes up so high, and then when I ran into a bunch of hassling, I didn’t realize at that time you were to pure yourself to expect the
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EE-2-f-4d
evil that people do. I just thought you had lied. This sort of thing is not helpful. It upset me quite a bit and made me reluctant to talk things out with you. I wish you would quit it – the last time I noticed you were still speaking the same way. Peoples Temple is more accepting and less hateful than anywhere else in America, that much is true, and it should be enough.
You’re being naïve every time you tell women that they’ll be just as well accepted whether they get a guy or not. The leadership in Jonestown may feel that way, but some of the membership are still showing more respect to women who have a guy than women who don’t. You’d be better off to ask women for the names of the individuals who respect them more when they have a man. Then blast those individuals for encouraging every form of sex and treason we’ve ever had. There is less of that bullshit around Jonestown than anywhere else I’ve ever been. I feel more free to act in a “man’s job” here than anywhere else I know.
If you want evidence, ask Mother [Marceline Jones] or Eva how many people showed less respect to Eva after she and Johnny Jones broke up. We’ve come a long way, but the job is not yet done.
You were naïve when you consider letting our enemies have you so they’d leave us in peace. They already can’t stand their consciences; with you dead, by their hands, do you think they’d suddenly be able to live at peace with themselves? Hell no! They’d attack Jonestown with more fury than ever. As a daughter of a living father, I’m amazed at your love; as a follower of a battle commander in time of class war, I am appalled that you are so naïve.
Another thing you haven’t considered is how many people would become class enemies if you die for John [Victor Stoen]. People who don’t have enough guts to die with you, but can’t live with themselves afterwards, would be class enemies as evil as Tim Stoen, located in Guyana and in our ranks. This sort of thing will happen, much more strongly, if you give yourself up to the enemy. The only way to get the enemy off our backs is to win the fucking war
I offer one more thought to how you predict Debbie – anything that nearly killed us in the past, she is going to try again. No matter how vile. I hope she’s not smart enough to plan into new ideas of her own.
Pauline Groot
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EE-2-f-5a
[Editor’s note: It is unknown whether the following small note refers to the four-page letter by Pauline Groot immediately preceding or the four-page letter by Tom Grubbs immediately following.]
Counseling – see back page – I believe good generally a good analysis – Marcie
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Undated Memo to Jim Jones from Tom Grubbs
EE-2-f-5b
[Editor’s note: The numerous spelling and grammatical errors in this note have been corrected.]
[Handwritten notation at top of page: “This is not necessarily important – no rush. Tom Grubbs”]
To: Dad
From: Tom Grubbs
Re: Thoughts about Ricky Johnson
The incident of Ricky Johnson has been the stimulus for a lot of thought for me. As result I see some things I did not formerly see, see some things different than I formerly saw them, and have organized some formerly disorganized thoughts.
First, I am very sorry then I made the scene that I made about 1 1/2 months ago when I made a lot of rash and selfish statements. I am also sorry that I had seriously considered deserting. I really did not believe that you care as much and as deeply as you evidenced yesterday. I listened very closely to all of your remarks over the PA and analyzed your intent and methods. I believe that you really do care deeply.
Regarding Ricky Johnson
First, I believe that sex is important and is a fundamental motivator or drive in most people’s lives. However, I do not believe that it is necessarily the most important. Instead, I believe more like Jung that the primal drive is to be secure and accepted by significant others as being of value to them. In my case, and in other cases that I have closely observed, I found that sex drive very closely with the person’s feelings about this acceptance.
In the mixed-up mind of the emotionally disturbed person suffering from feelings of inadequacy, insufficiency, inferiority, in failure the person has strongly ambivalent feelings – a strong need for affirmation that he/she it is unequivocally accepted and that acceptance must be demonstrated intimately, physically and continually. The reasons for this are that the emotional state is the primal or first state of awareness of the young child. It is linked with the period of life when the child had little command of language and thus when the person regresses or reverts to that emotional level he/she may well regress to the level when they did not have the command of language and thus have difficulty verbalizing. Much research indicates that when people relive sequences of a traumatic nature that occurred before ability to verbalize, they are subject to the same limits on expression that they had then. This may account for why people often do not want to talk about it – they feel that they cannot translate accurately their feelings. I believe this is largely true of Ricky.
As his teacher for about 4 months I noticed many things: he has a very poor educational background, feels dumb, stupid, inadequate and tries to cover these feelings in several ways. He plays the clown, the wise guy, the funny guy as a cover. No one expects a clown
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to be serious – it is not part of the role. But, people don’t think that while the clown makes everyone else laugh, he may be crying inside. He doesn’t do it because he really wants to, he has to, it is part of the role. To be accepted he must play the role. But the bind remains that people are too busy enjoying the clown to understand him.
But, that too is part of both the cause and effect. The clown is afraid to let people too close, they might see behind the mask – we might see all if the fears, the anxieties, the inadequacies that are common to all but not perceived as common to all. So now we are coming round-circle.
As a teenager I really wanted to be a clown. I watched all of the clown types around me. I watched many of them and I watched them close. I discovered that most of them felt more like crying than laughing most of the time. Indeed they prostituted themselves, sacrificed their last vestige of self-respect for approval and acceptance. (I am knowingly over dramatizing for emphasis). I have seen Vincent Lopez indoor all manner of degradation and humiliation for the laugh that he interpreted as acceptance. I believe that I have seen this to some extent from Ricky also.
His hip-jive talk is compensation for his lack of education. But who analyzes it as such – it is just part of his personality expression, right – wrong. But, who expects the clown and hip-cat to sp[eak the “Kings” English. It is not part of his “script.”
So he started out to be a clown to hide his inadequacies, fears, insecurities, real or imagined and got “boxed in”. People tend to hold him in that role and he is afraid to get out because at least he knows this “script” and how to manipulate the interpersonal relationships – accept in the area of meaningful communications.
I am suggesting that Ricky has a very low or poor image of himself. The rejection of his mom in her “cutting him down” and “tearing him up” verbally that was referred to in the meeting has made him super sensitive to rejection. This becomes one of the basics of the Don Juan complex: can’t stay too long with any one woman because she will find him out… see through or behind his mask … see him as he sees himself and reject him. So the Don Juan rejects to preclude rejection, a protective device, but it makes impossible the kind of relationship that is fulfilling. People who are afraid of rejection are afraid to give too much, to invest too much because the hurt seems to be proportional to the investment. If much is given or invested and the rejection still occurs, the other party must have seen somehow all of or some of the faults that were hidden. (I am sorry I am having such a hard time expressing this, I can feel it can identify with it clearly, but I am having a hell of a time expressing it.) Everything seems so relating to everything else then I just can’t seem to express it linearly.)
Considering how I believe Ricky views himself intellectually, educationally, mentally, and emotionally, it seems reasonable that he would emphasize his physique as he believes
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EE-2-f-5d
it to be his best feature. But, his physique and sex become confused. If he parades his best feature he is being sexy or is selling himself as a sexy person. But, at some point he will be called to “put up, or shut up”. I believe that the impotence that Cindy spoke of bothers him a great deal because he sees it not as a manifestation of his anxiety, but emphasis that he is TOTALLY IMPOTENT, and all areas. But, the person who believes he has very little of merit also believes he can not afford to give up what little he believes he has. The less one believes he has, the last he can afford to give up. (This is from the non-socialist perspective).
Generalization
In some of the areas I wrote of I believe all non-socialist/communists are described. I believe that ego can not be taken away from anyone, and it cannot be suppressed without consequences, unless it is sacrificed by the person himself. Unfortunately the sickly, poorly formed and twisted egos are the most troublesome. They are also the ones that the person can not afford to give up. A person will only willing integrate his ego [word crossed out: “willingly”] when it becomes healthy, when he feels he has enough positive attributes that he can afford, to integrate. The situation is not hopeless, but I believe that they need to be encouraged, valued, given opportunities to discovertheir value for themselves as a major part of the therapy. I believe that people do not believe that anyone can regard them more highly then they regard themselves for long.
The other alternatives that works sometimes, but not reliably is for persons to develop concern or empathy for others even less fortunate are perceived to be less fortunate. [Interlinear insertion: “very poorly stated. Does not communicate my thoughts.”] However, the beginning stages are safer if they are vicarious and the personal relationship is not intimate.
Unfortunately I see education or the lack of it as deeply involved in the view most people (particularly young people) have about themselves. I have watched Keith and Stanley Wright, David Goodwin, Vincent Touchette [could be Vincent Lopez], Jerry Wilson (Baisey), Marcus Anderson, Ronnie Dennis, Garnette [Garnet] Johnson as some of the youth that have received so much failure feedback from their educational misadventures that it has seriously eroded their sense of value with the result that they develop a mask or cover. They get cast in some superficial role such as the clown, the tough, the daredevil, etc. In twelve years of teaching I have seen a lot of this and feel very responsible to detect, prevent and correct these problems.
For most youth, I feel that the best therapy is to provide good education with REAL value and REAL* POSITIVE feedback to serve as the foundation for a healthy sense of value. [Note at bottom of page for asterisk: “as opposed to symbolic word/phrase feedback. They need something they can evaluate and value.]” (Many of our youth do not aspire to leadership or responsibility because they believe they do not have the skills that the task will demand, and they cannot fulfill the requirements that they will fail, will be rebuked for failure or ridiculed)
However, I believe that some of the youth that will not be reached by education need some counseling that DEMONSTRATES that people do understand them. Not admonitions and advice, but helping the person express how he/she feels, therapist making inferences [two lines bracketed come up with note “good, mature”]
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EE-2-f-5e
“guessing” how the person feels about situations that concern the person. Sometimes the thing that most impresses a person being counseled is when the therapist or counselor can verbalize how the counselee feels better that he can do for himself. Most people do not and can not really believe that someone else really loves or cares unless first they know that they are REALLY UNDERSTOOD. Most counselors want too much to give advice. They would do much better to start if they would demonstrate concern and interest first by listening and feeding back, providing the counselee a belief that he is understood and still accepted. “I have doubt that you really accept me so long as I have a deep dark secret that I am afraid to let you know about, but am afraid he will find out and reject me for”. Also, I believe we need some small group counseling so that youth can find that they are not really not different or “worse” than others, they just see and know their faults better.
I will quit. This was not meant to be pedantic. I do not mean to assume I am able to teach or lecture. I can’t seem to be brief. The more I think the more things seem related to other things and I can’t represent a spider’s web as a straight line of print. So I will stop. This may be just a gross waste of your time anyway. I’m not even sure that I did what I started out to do.
Note: Peter Wotherspoon was told in a meeting in Dr. Schacht’s office nearly a year ago that he could talk to me when he feels he needs someone to talk to. Before proceeding I desire to know if that is still acceptable or agreeable to you. Please respond to this question. [Last sentence circled, with marginal note: “Dad said ok.”]
Tom Grubbs
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Memo to Jim Jones from Bea Orsot, August 1978
EE-2-f-6a – 6b
8/2/78
To: Dad
From: Bea Orsot
Re: Norman Ijames
I have never thought he was one of us. I remember once in PC [Planning Commission] you asked our vote as to the possibility of him taking over your leadership in case you were no longer with us. Some other names were [Mike] Prokes & Johnny Jones. My vote was against Norman. You asked me why I did not vote for him – I told you it was because I considered him a bourgeoise white person because he never got dirty like the rest of us, & because he came in the law office just to get his messages, like a big executive, then right out again. Later I watched him a lot – He was sneaky I thought. I used to catch him staring at me when I was looking in our files & I felt uncomfortable but had nothing to go on but that.
The following are definite possibilities which should be seriously considered.
- Agent
- Rejection by a woman. He has a very small penis. Loretta Cordell told me she had a relationship with him when he first married Judy [Ijames]
- He could be in trouble – stolen $ to buy off a woman or some criminal offense & seeking a place to hide.
He’s not coming just to see his wife or child.
—–
Reflection on Jim Jones’ Pain from Vern Gosney, May 1978
EE-2-f-7a – 7b
Verne Gosney
What I Think Dad’s Greatest Suffering Is
I think that Dad probably suffers the most from helping people and in their understanding of Socialism and have them turn around and shit on him. To constantly open up to people, to reach out to them and get no understanding or realization of Dad’s feelings as a human being.
Also Dad is always the brunt of People’s hostilities when he has always done the loving thing towards that person or persons.
Also the lack of thinking comrades do & our un-kindness & insensitivity to others. We are incredibly unkind to each other – ready to cut each other’s throat for the slightest offense. We are always yelling at each other too. I think this must grieve Dad because he is the Supreme example to us – and we should follow that example of kindness & love.
I know for myself I am trying to assume guilt for the many times I have heard Dad, & angered him severely by flaunting my rebellion & hostilities to his great teachings. Now each time I feel certain resistance in my mind to some of Dad’s teachings – I think of those things over & over again to realize why I feel this way & to change them & overcome those feelings because I know I have been very brainwashed by capitalist living & decadent thinking and it takes a while to reverse the process. Mainly whenever I examine myself I find that my resistance to any points of Dad’s teachings is a resistance to think – once I think about it I realize that I was trying to deceive myself so I could preserve a holdout of illusory thinking.
Thank you Dad.
My money-making idea is an herb shop to be in Georgetown selling all kinds of herbs for natural cures. This could be coordinated with experimental kitchen & herb committee.
—–
Reflection on Jim Jones’ Pain from Bea Orsot, May 1978
EE-2-f-8a
[Editor’s note: This letter was typed in all capital letters, and much of it was underlined.]
May 27, 1978
To: Dad
From: Bea Orsot Grubbs
Subject: What I feel are your greatest pains and strengths
Pains
I feel your greatest pain is intertwined with your awareness of our lack of awareness of the fact that all you are attempting to do is to teach us to give up our selfishness (ego) in exchange for a better way of life, that life being communism. In short, our self-centered interests is your pain and our unwillingness to understand that in anarchistic ways which brings us pain. All of us have suffered in numerous ways under capitalism, having shed many tears because of it. Our tears have created you yet we are slowly really accepting you, our only answer. Even when I think of the traitors, I clearly see that your pain exists, in each instance, because of their self-centered desires. The whole trip is like a tug-of-war. Self pulling away from selflessness, you being the latter, we being the first. It is so difficult for you to get us to understand this … simply but yet complex equation. It is only through relinquishing self that we can experience authentic freedom and security. We must exchange ourselves for these things. I can see the pain in others that I myself once knew. They are still pulling the other way in a desperate effort to find and hold tight to the life yet they will never find it until they give it. Their inability to see this is your pain – much of it.
Then to further multiply, you maintain a secure, in prison yourself, constantly attempting to sustain, protect and ward off the enemy, never getting the needed rest. You have to deal with the shit from the outside only to barely sit down and you must face the shit here… This goes on continually which has got to be painful.
The selfishness in each one of us causes pain for someone else. We will not treat others as we bitch to be treated; that is painful to you… as the individual pain of each one of us is your pain.
Much of your pain is caused by the elitism you see daily, not only in far off places but in those who work side-by-side with you. It is painful for you to even work with them yet you must walk around some to keep them functioning for the greatest good. Everything you do is for our greatest good – yet there are many of those who use it against you – many here yet and they would sell you out if they got the chance. Our not understanding your motive is painful.
Our inability or unwillingness to see the shit in ourselves because we are so busy concentrating on the shit in others which is a reflection of ourselves is definitely one of your greatest pains.
Our lack of interest in producing and building up the community of Jonestown to our fullest capacity – a place for us – not for you.
It is painful for you to see anyone of us have something that everyone does not have. We have not reached total quality … nor pure communism.
It is painful for you to think about there is no one with your character to fill your shoes when you are no longer our leader. You worry about what will happen to the people. All of us use you because we need you but who is really trying to be like you. I think of something Harriet Tropp once said in public that caused you pain. She said the group would cease to exist when you ceased to exist. Incidentally, while I am at it, I personally feel that she would not remain in the group if you were no longer here … or why did she make that Freudian slip. I watch her closely and have done for years – just as I watched Grace S. [Stoen] and Debbie B. [Blakey]. I see the same hypocrisy and I have wanted to say so for a long time but I have been afraid to. Well I am not afraid anymore. Why should I be afraid to say what I think is right to say really, I should have let you know how I felt about Grace S. and Debbie B. before they turned traitor – not after the fact. (Although I did write up Debbie B. once)
—–
EE-2-f-8b
Pains (continued)
You are painful [pained] because capitalism still exists in many parts of the world which means people are suffering in order that a few can live in luxury. You are here as the administrator of justice of the entire world and as long as one person is being treated unjustly, then you will continue to pain which means your pain shall never cease.
Our negligence and just being sensitive and kind to each other … thoughtful & considerate. Last, but not least, the hypocrisy in us all is very painful to you.
One more – the necessity of having to punish people in boxes and new brigades in order to make them grow towards their own happiness and security is extremely painful for you. You sure don’t like doing it… The majority would cast the light in the other direction and sell you out because of it.
I could write pages about your pain but already I have taken up too much of your time.
Strengths
Your strengths come about when you see in any one of us some portion of your honest, just character which you see too little of. I see a great deal of you in some just as I have seen the lack of you in some – so far I have been right too, so I thought this would be a good place to tell you of those I see some of your character in. I do not see the hypocrisy in them as I have in 3 mentioned earlier. It may bring you strength to know who I think they are: (1) Marcie, of course, (2) Jim Jones Jr., (3) Steven [Stephan] Jones, (4) Johnny Jones, (5) Ava Jones, (6) Karen Layton, (7) Paula Adams (just recently I have noticed), (8) Maria Katsaris, (9) Terr Buford, (10) Sharon Amos, (11) Mike Prokes, (12) Carolyn Layton.
I picked these people as examples because they are at the top and it is the top who have caused you the greatest pain. I feel the above persons demonstrate a minimum of ego and an active understanding and demonstration of your teachings. Some names at the top are missing intentionally because I do not feel they belong on this list. I certainly would not put myself on this list either. I have too many faults. The fact that this list is so short is also painful to you yet the 12 who are here are your strengths … and I am grateful for every one of them.
It strengthens you to know that we are learning to become sensitive to the sufferance of people all over the world through making ourselves knowledgeable of the news; to know that many former religious folk are finally getting in touch with the truth and are expressing it. It strengthens you to educate the people who did not have the opportunity before.
In short, the following are some additional things which give you strength:
- Greater productivity
- $$ making ideas which will succeed
- Greater sensitivity to others
- The winning of another battle with capitalist (alphas)
- Our taking a personal interest in Jonestown
- Our ability to stand up for what we believe to be right no matter if everyone else thinks it is wrong
- Our ability to face death without fear.
- Our determination to do right because it is right as opposed to doing so to impress you.
- Principled demonstration of our gratitude.
I could go on but this is too long.
Respectfully,
/s/ Bea Orsot Grubbs
Bea Orsot Grubbs
—–
Memo to Jim Jones from Bea Orsot, July 1978
EE-2-f-9a – 9b
7-3-78
To: Dad
From: Bea Orsot Grubbs
Re: Suggestions for getting our people out
Some should be moved out of San Francisco, keeping in mind that our US base it will be relocated on the Eastern Coast. I think one base should be in NY City & the other in Florida. NY would be ideal because it would not be too easy to trace us in a large city plus it is the airline base from US to here. Texas is another possibility in case we get another ocean vessel which would be going back & forth.
Our radio would have to be moved to one of those places & I’m inclined to think NY would not be good in this regard. Too much red tape & too expensive to find right place. Texas & Florida best. Probably would have to purchase a dwelling in order to put up such a large antenna. Hurricane problem should be kept in mind with both states. Our people to get employment there with at least 2 people working in Federal Government (like June Crym – white & a secretary) so [we] can have use of their telephones for long distance calls. A secretary will surely automatically have use of phone.
As soon as basins are established – gradually but quickly move out everyone.
This may sound outlandish – Washington DC is another possibility as jobs are more available there than any place in US. We would need that $$ to help support us here. Important contacts which we need are also there & which I could make but I would have to be there & I’m not expecting you to trust me as you shouldn’t be trusting anyone. If any of our people ever need any inside information from FCC[Federal Communications Commission] in Washington – please contact Atty Chester Roberts. He’s black. I’ve known him for a long time & he would only recognize my name as Bea Harvey (my former married name). This is just one example. There are many more.
I also suggest a base in Canada near NY – then we could travel to Cuba, where we also need to build a bridge.
I think Washington DC would be the last place they’d ever expect us to have a base – underground, permanent – our enemy traitors, especially.
Bea Orsot
We need to get away from the base of the traitors – San Francisco. The news would surely be affected. Also if we ever decided to pull an Algeria revolutionary act – Washington DC would be the ideal spot.
—–
Undated Memo to Jim Jones from Pauline Groot
EE-2-f-10a – 10b
Dad,
If we go to Cuba, I am not worried so much about the Cuban gov’t refusing to let in our people who are now in America, I’m worried much more about the American gov’t refusing to let them out.
For instance, Marie [likely Marie Lawrence] and her 8 foster children. She’d probably have to try to sneak out; she’d never get papers to take foster children to Cuba.
There‘d be others. How much trouble, how much danger to try to sneak them out? Could it even be done? In all cases?
If you’re dead, it probably won’t be done successfully.
Also we have some members back there who would be willing to follow you to Guyana – Promised Land – but not to communist Cuba. What’s worse, they’d cover their own faithlessness by saying you betrayed them by turning Communist. (I don’t know, maybe I’m too paranoid.) I don’t know how important you consider this.
Pauline Groot
—–
Undated Memo to Jim Jones from Tom Grubbs
EE-2-f-11a
To: Dad, Mom [Marceline Jones], Phyllis Bloom [Chaikin], Judy Ijames
From: Tom Grubbs
Re: Therapy Report
David Chaikin, Report on Vision
About 3 weeks ago I was asked by Mother to examine David’s eyes and evaluate his visual problems. I did so and am able to report the following.
David has hypophoria of the left eye characterized by approximately 4″ inclination above horizontal when right (master) eye is at rest focused straightforward. The visual effect is quite similar to looking in a cracked mirror in which one part is out of plane alignment with the other. Maintaining binocular fusion required more than usual effort and became more difficult when he was tired, tense (under stress) or bored.
Near point focus was not possible closer than 12″ at which point the image became double.
David had noticeable inefficiency of ocular muscle coordination and control. It was not possible for him to make smooth, fluid sweeping movements across any plane. Instead, his movements were jerky and erratic. When reading, he over-moved his eyes frequently and established the new fixation too far to the right necessitating a regression to locate his proper place. This problem was observed at a rate of once in four lines, enough to disturb continuity and comprehension.
David’s most frustrating problem occurred on his return-left sweep to begin a new line. Frequently his sleep did not drop to the next line. As a result, he re-read most of the same line before recognizing his error. At times he made as many as three attempts before locating the new line which was sometimes done with the aid of his finger. I was able to study this problem with the aid of a mirror while he was reading. I found that it occurred an average of twice a paragraph and near the middle of the paragraph. Again the result was a disturbance in continuity and comprehension and an increase in frustration. The frustration and tension in turn promoted temporary myopia (nearsightedness, a common result of tension).
His eyes at right or left extreme tremored noticeably and the eye opposite the direction of extreme was prone to break-away or dart under the strain after about 4 seconds.
David exhibited a very slow visual recognition as measured by a tachistoscope. When therapy began his accuracy rate for recognition of 3 digit numbers at 1/2 second was an average of 77%.
APPRAISAL NOW
After 3 weeks of visual therapy I am pleased to report the following:
David’s pursuit tracking behavior is much more fluid and free. There is seldom a continuation after the target is stopped. He can accurately track complicated patterns at moderate speeds (movements requiring coordination of all 6 ocular muscles).
—–
EE-2-f-11b
His eyes will hold a position of extreme side vision with noticeable tremor only after 12-15 seconds, free of erratic eye darting.
He can maintain binocular fusion at near-point focus as close as 7″ an improvement of 5 inches, a significantimprovement.
His visual recognition speed has approved from 77% accuracy at 1/2 second to 93% accuracy at 1/100 of a second recognizing 4 digit numbers.
He has increased breadth of visual field so as to identify 2 digits separated by 14 spaces separation at a rate of 1/00 sec. with better than 90% accuracy.
He is able to solve maze puzzles by eye tracking without reference from a finger, line or pencil. Is speed and accuracy has improved though I will not have any statistical information for several days as I just today began timing him with a stopwatch.
REMARKS:
I am confident that through visual therapy daily can achieve better-than-average visual tracking and perception skills without the prismatic since the ophthalmologist prescribed for his hyperphoria.
However, the real testimony of progress is David himself. He can tell the improvement and is inspired to continue. He is an eager subject.
I desire to continue the study of ophthalmology. I recently studied a very good book which projected that all refractive visual problems can be corrected through therapy. I have been applying the concepts outlined in the book and am pleased with the results I am having correcting my myopic astigmatism. I am encouraged that it may well offer a very real alternative to the expense of eyeglasses, which at best are not as good as natural vision.
I am also studying the book, Major Audiometric Measurements. I believe that we can do more than diagnose hearing problems. I believe that with therapy many non-neurosensory problems can be at least partly remediated. I have already proven beyond any doubt (to myself) that listening skills can be taught-learned and can compensate for hearing deficiencies which cannot be remediated without hearing aids.
However, I am having a very difficult time finding enough time to study.
—–
Thank You Note to Jim Jones from Irma Lee Gill, September 1978
EE-2-f-12a – 12b
[Editor’s note: The numerous spelling and grammatical errors in this note have been corrected.]
Sept 25/78
Dear Dad,
Thank you for healing me and my daughter of cancer & also mother when she had cancer in her lungs. Also saved Rick Johnson’s life. Also thank you for [illegible word] beautiful home. Andrew love and kindness thank you for what you are doing for everybody. I know you are the Christ & I [illegible word] your flesh so much for that. This is my suggestion: have people to pass out paper & a copy to go by to write letters in the meeting when we are altogether in that way everybody can write letters. That is the [way] we did is in SF. If 3 hundred in the Temple we wrote 3 hundred letters if needed to be. Also I suggest for quietness in the meeting have all young people sit in front & Sec. in back & see that if that will help the noise. Have all people to meditate twice a day. You was with this in SF but we [illegible word] the same when I was there [illegible word] at 6 AM at home when I got to work I meditated. Before I left work I meditated when I got home I meditated & meditated on the elevator 1029 I did the same thing not just for myself but for others. Police was beating up people. We could hear the [two illegible words]
[Second page, writing too faint and illegible]
Irma Lee Gill
—–
Undated Note to Jim Jones from Juanita Green
EE-2-f-13a – 13b
[Editor’s note: The numerous spelling and grammatical errors in this note have been corrected.]
Hi Dad
You asked all who had swelling in their legs and lots of us stood. I went to the nurses office but they didn’t have any of those cow foot leaves. So I went up behind the apartment, got some of the leaves, put them on my leg, kept on overnight, it drew all pulse [pus?] out and took all swelling out. I felt like I had a new leg. I thank you dad. I hope I didn’t do wrong. But it sure felt better. You so good to us dad, you opened so many doors for us we should be more grateful to you for everything.
Juanita Green
—–
Undated Note to Clifford Gieg from unknown Temple member
EE-2-f-14a – 14b
Clifford Gieg
Hi, Cliff;
How are you keeping? Bob told me, he was going into the interior and so I decided to write you. I thought I would have been able to see you when you came down the last time. I was at the Cultural Center, I saw you but I didn’t get to speak to you because you were on stage. I am finished with school and I am home while my examination’s results are out. When are you coming down. I really miss you a lot. I saw Mike but I didn’t get to speak with him. I am going to bed now and dream of you. Love yourself and I love you.
[Illegible signature]
—–
Undated Reflection on Jim Jones’ Pain from Dorothy Harris
EE-2-g-1a – 1b
To: Dad
From: Shojhanna [Shajuanna (Dorothy)] Harris
Re: The Pain Dad Goes thru
1) Wondering who will be the next trator, exspecially if they are close to him
2) The mercenaries, when & how they might come in here. Hoping that the Security is tight.
3) People waisting money, when we need to save, so that the rest of our family can get over here.
4) The guilt he holds only because he thinks he hasn’t done enough
5) or the pain & suffering he had and still has to go thru to keep people in this cause
6) Him teaching night & day to get sisters emancipated, and they won’t try to be liberated.
7) the pain his throat goes thru daily giving us news & Marxist so that we might get knowledge
Thank you Dad
—–
Undated Note to Jim Jones from Rosa Mae Hines regarding Tim Stoen
EE-2-g-2
5-19-78
Here’s what these mercenaries have done and is doing to us. Tim Stone [Stoen] is suing us for million dollars against the church. He is a hypocrite because when he left here he said he was with us, after [he] got back in the States, turned against us, told lies on Peoples Temple, just help Grace out and start working with the CIA. The Mertles they told everything went on in the Temple and added, told more lies, they stole money and was buying themselves a home or business or whatever. That’s the way I understand it. You (Father) made them bring it back. The Olivers, they was working with the CIA, they said they would get there boys dead or alive. Madlock [Wade Medlock] said he was paying someone for sending one over here to kill all of us. The Griffins tried to kill Mother [Marceline Jones], and Stone also had it set out to kill Chris [Lewis].
Rosa Mae Hines
—–
Undated Letter to Jim Jones from Marthea Hicks
EE-2-g-3a
Dear Dad:
I have great guilt today and I am overwhelmed with seeing the realness of socialism. I deeply regret letting you and my total family down, and creating the atmosphere of mistrust. I didn’t realize the seriousness of what I have done until I began to think on your statement to me. Yes Dad, I am guilty of letting my own feeling get in front of what’s right. Now I see how subtle the traderistic [traitorous] mind is created. I have never known anything about what I wanted, and why I wanted the things I had. But Dad for the first time in a life of living bullshit, I do know what I want. I do want to be a good socialist, nothing or knowone will ever again give my path. I am grateful to you and the family for making me see the light now before many things crop up. That’s something I deeply appreciate that you can’t bullshit and become a good socialist, something I am used to
—–
EE-2-g-3b
I know an apologetic attitude is not enough. I must live this great mistake down, by cooperating more with others, by not letting my emotional feeling outweigh good commend sense, and by living real with others and knowing what real is with me. I have always felt that marriage was a senseless and useless way of life. I have never wanted to be married, but I was false with so many people leading them on until the last moment, then I would run out on them, causing for people to be committed to the mental wards. I was fearful of ever getting involved again with anyone because I hurt so many people needlessly, and Dad I know I feel strong about the word mistrust because someone like that can’t be trusted, but it’s the first time I look at it in the matter of trust. That’s the truth Dad. Thank you Dad. Chris had been talking with me on and off ever since I came to the Temple, but I always thought that I would live without the affair and relationship
—–
EE-2-g-3c
because of my past pattern. Also I thought of the great difference in our ages. Before coming to Jonestown I said will maybe I might meet someone that I could care for and that I could respect enough to spend a life with, but I wasn’t to sure. I have never had anything to do with anyone unless I got something out of it. My x father called me a whore many times before I ever had sex but it still worked out that way, and this is the first time I am facing it. Not only did I insist on money, cars, and other material things, I set up girls and convinced. them to think the same way I have a portfolio of phony information on all these girls, and they were all to be students in various fields and each one studied just enough to talk about medicine, law, building (drafts) etc. I was fortunate that I wasn’t put in jail. I was the worst: a madam. I had all kinds of girls, black, white, Indian etc. Dad I thought I was to good to turn the trick so I got others. Never could I talk about this. I am so ashamed I
—–
EE-2-g-3d
had no conscience at all. Then I spent time being a phony preacher getting money from poor people thinking I was doing them a service. One year I went south for a week and collected $15,000. I am guilty of so many things until I know I have a life that will not last long enough to work out of the guilds that haunt my mind.. I do know that whatever time there is I will never stand for anything else but socialism. I am grateful to you. I know I would be dead now. I have never been pimped. I always said that I was the pimp. I did think that since I had nothing to base my relationship on but pure communism that I would be different. I would have to be real with the cause myself and the person. That is why I have gone this far with Chris. I wanted to get over this part of my mind were [where] I want to hurt others and break thier hearts, using my lies and body as the weapons. I am not sure of anything except your love for the people and your truth that breaks every tie that holds us down. I am sure of Socialism, that I
—–
EE-2-g-3e
want to grow into the kind of person that can be real and trustworthy. This I am sure of. I am sure that I let my family down, and today I have seen how people do expect the best for me, because many here have expressed that I let them down, and that I was a real turkey. At first and even now I feel hurt, because I feel that I should not have made this mistake. It lets me see myself clearer, lets me know I am not working in the dark that I must face the truth and my family. People who want me to grow and they are not willing to stand by and see me destroying myself with false thoughts and coverups. I have been helped. I love my family. I would like all of them to know that I do apologize and I thank them all for their strong convictions that have helped me very much. I will feel ashamed until I prove myself worthy of being called a Socialist sister. I will never do what I did last time again. I do see how dangerous it is and how all traders [traitors] are born, by
—–
EE-2-g-3f
getting away with the type of character I expressed last night. I know it was a let down to you and everyone, even myself. I have grown from the exposure of who & what is important. I know Chris is headstrong and doesn’t consider others in his decisions, which could cause a great deal of trouble to the cause. I shall be more the person I should be from this moment on. Thank you Dad for being more enlightenment into a dark life of false dreams and lies. Each time I am able to drop off something that hinders me from being closer to pure Socialism. Thanks again Dad. I love your way of life, it is perfect, and a life we can see, one we can pattern ours by.
Your Socialist Daughter, Marthea [Hicks]
P.S. I appreciate your opening my mind with world knowledge, it helps to realize the fight we have a had us. I have never been exposed to so much knowledge of blacks all over the world. Thank you Dad.
—–
EE-2-g-4a
[Page writes out test questions, but has been crossed out, with a notation at bottom of page, “This is old.”]
—–
Note to Jim Jones from Denise Hunter, October 1978
EE-2-g-4b
17-10-78
To Dad
From Denise Hunter
I’m writing to thank you for saving me once again. I’m still not sure if it was appendix or kidneys, but it was bad and I was healed of any pain before I got to town.
I’m a pile of shit and a asshole. I don’t know why you keep doing so much.
I saw a lot while I was gone 1 week. Now, more than ever I appreciate what we have here. We are rich people in every way. Thanks to you. I know I don’t deserve any of it. Thank you for letting me be a part of Jonestown and the Revolution.
All I can say about people who try to leave here as they must be living in a make-believe world of fantasy because this is the only real thing (way of living there is)
Thanks Dad
From a pile of shit
Denise Hunter
—–
EE-2-g-5a
Letter to Shanda James Oliver from sister Vonrie, October 1978
October 1 – 1978
Hello Shanda –
Well what’s up? I know – knocking out zzzzz. Okay I’m doing really good. Yes everyone else does the same. Mari (Mari Lady) is a mess, I guess you know that for yourself.
I heard good news. What was it? Shanda is doing good. Ha ha ha
Now getting down to business. I hope you know you are to get as much sleep as possible, that is why I have not been by, but once and that was the day I had Mari Lady. I want you to hurry up and get out so we can be together, laugh and talk.
Look don’t worry about your hair being done, because when you get out I will fix it up. If you notice you are in an environment full of funny – knock out & upside down people ([illegible word]) can all they say about your hair is “We all look alike, naps, tangles, snarls and all.” Hee hee hee.
[Marginal notes: “PS. Mari as always will be spending the night over to our house tonight.
[“Mari can stand up on a table and I will hold her and she stands & bounces.
[“Mari weighs 13 lbs. 6 oz.”]
—–
EE-2-g-5b
She went – Alfred told me to put a [illegible word] letter for him, now before I was rudely interrupted by Alfred to the right, then to the left chemistry not, turn right, and I ended up at camp 1 and I brought back a couple of nice – sharp plants I was looking for a few shells but I didn’t find in the to go in a big jar of water.
Listen up Dad loves you very much as you already know. Everyone said Hi [illegible word] and hurry up get on your feet and off your seat (laugh).
I want to see you I hope you know when I want you to get out of SCU [Special Care Unit]. So stop playing around and get up & out.
Always your sister, Vonrie
P.S. I hope you like my pretty raggedy yellow paper