Teri Buford Note in Support of Sending Peoples Temple Members Abroad
Nov. 8, 1972
I support sending missionaries abroad. Peoples Temple Christian Church’s idea of sending them receives my full support.
Teresa Jean Buford
Teri Buford Undated Letter to Jim Jones, around 1973
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TO: DAD
FROM: TERRI
At the risk of sounding defensive and face-saving I did have a logical explanation for coming down to dinner every night after the summer trip and then on the days between the time I got back from out of the country and LA. I wish you could explain to Carolyn [Layton] that my intentions were half-way decent. I seriously thought that if it were necessary for my psyche to spend some time with you other than work that that time would be the best because Carolyn was usually there and you would not feel that I was down there for sex or something and that that way I could maintain some contact without really requiring you to talk with me or having people wonder why I was down there. I had purposely chosen dinner time because to me it looked like the safest time. I was very wrong but I wasn’t trying to interfere with the one time you had together. The way I saw it was that it would be the one time that you would be eating or watching news that you didn’t spend together. I feel like a complete ass for interfering. During the summer trip I started getting somewhat weird knowing that I was stuck in a situation of being pregnant and having to wait three weeks to do anything about it. I couldn’t do anything about it before the trip because the trip is sometimes rough in having to carry things etc. and I thought that physically I would do worse than if I waited until I got home. So on the trip I decided that I better change how I was identifying with you and decided that when I was around you I would just pretend that I was one of your sons rather than getting caught up in glamorizing the trust that you and Carolyn have with each other and at least that way I could feel acceptance without thinking that you have to be in Carolyn’s situation to be accepted. So when we got back I made it a point each night to show up at dinner[,] pretend I was Tim Tupper [Jones] and was able in my own weird way to begin rationalizing a new kind of acceptance. I know this sounds very sick but at the time I was so hormonally flippy and over-paranoid
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that I seriously thought that the only way that I was going to be able to function with any type of sanity was to just take a few minutes daily outside of working and play the role of playing one of your sons so I chose dinner time to do that in. I feel like a fool to know that was the one time that I would be interfering. Anyway knowing that I don’t mind at all not coming down during that time. I do think, however, for a few weeks there, that if I hadn’t done that that I would have had a much harder time emotionally holding up. I know this is all counter-productive and that I shouldn’t be hung up on any kind of acceptance. I know that you would prefer and I wish I were that way to that I follow and work purely out of dedication to principle etc. and of course I don’t think I would have followed you had I not thought that you were good and right but this is probably wrong but there is a dependence of some weird variety there and quite frankly I don’t know what to do with it or where to put it. I am only telling you this for background because although I know that all these feelings are wrong that it may explain why I act the way that I do sometimes. The only thing that gives me any peace of mind is knowing that I think that Carolyn is probably as emotionally involved in another way as I am in my way. Some of the reasons for my reactions and upsettedness except for the fact for the last three days I have been wiped out—but I have an irrational overdose fear of being thrown out. It is not sane or rational feeling at all but I know like some people are claustrophobic I have an over-insane fear of rejection. The background I think being that with my dad’s career by the time was in 9th grade I had attended 15 different schools in 15 different cities or countries. When I was 16 I moved out. Worked two jobs and finished high school. After my first year of college I got really tired of all the hassle, all the drugs, the disorganization and decided to move back home—I lasted three days before I was asked to leave and live somewhere else. That was probably the best thing that ever happened to me as it made me realize that you really are fighting alone. I never got attached to much after that
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I just drifted from place to place for a year. I lived from time to time with much older men[,] moved in four a couple months with one man about 40, another about 50 etc. —Finally in with some guy in LA who was only about 10 years older but who managed to beat the shit out of me/throw me out of the house and called the police on me for prostitution. I went to a psychologist at UCLA and asked to stay there for the night but that was a whole sick environment too. Finally panhandled enough money to take a bus partway and hitchhike the rest of the way to Redwood Valley—not to see the church but because I knew Ben [Bowers] and that he had money and that sexually he would leave me alone. Anyway when you showed me so much love and acceptance I not only leaned on it but I fell into it head over heels. I know that it is wrong and insane and everything else. I guess it boils down to the fact that I worry sometimes that you and Carolyn and Kimo [Prokes] and the boys and Maria [Katsaris] and John [Victor Stoen] and maybe Marcy [Marceline Jones] are all going to move away someday just because of the pressure of the building etc and I know that that is right and it shouldn’t bother me and I know that I will stick if you do it—but I know also that I am afraid of that for some stupid[,] I am sure unsocialist reason. I know that ideally that all this stuff I am talking about is wrong and I feel guilty as hell even having dependencies and hangups and fears and I am sure that if you wall left I would be made into a much stronger person. I promise you that I will always work hard whether you are here or not. I don’t mind being sent away for whatever reasons[;] that doesn’t bother me. I don’t, despite what has been said, think that you and Maria and Carolyn plot against me but I guess as I saw Carolyn and Maria becoming very close that I felt that it wouldn’t be long before you all moved out. It was not paranoia over being talked about but just fear that it is just a matter of time before you all move out. I think in all fairness that you should, that it would be a much better environment for all of you with less criticisms and pressures. And I assure you that I would still work hard and hold up and everything if you did.
Terri
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Teri Buford Undated Letter to Jim Jones, likely 1973
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TO: DAD
FROM: Terri
I am sorry that I have been so down and out all week. I know that it must be an emotional drain on you. All I can say in explanation is that I started another period on Sunday (five days after I got over the last one) brought on by these spasms and hormonally I am fucked up. I am sorry. I’m not saying this to cover up but simply because I know that this is the exact kind of nuts I have on a period and I’m on another one so I guess I should have expected that the nuts would go along with it as usual. Physically it is a drain of sorts but I know I must be driving everyone else crazy if I’ve gotten to the point that I can’t stand myself. Anyway I thought that I owed you some sort of explanation in that I don’t want you to have to play guessing games with me and I am sure you’ve seen that I am a mess of sorts. At this point I’d almost rather be a dumb male and a crazy female[.] Thank you for being so tolerant of me. I know I put you through a lot and you are always patient. This is only to let you know that I am not depress[ed] or hostile[,] only that I am hormonally fucked up and also somewhat
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frustrated at not being able to get a lot of work done. Thank you for putting up as long as you have. I’m sure that I will be back to normal as soon as this goes away.
Terri
Communism has given me the greatest happiness I could wish for and you have given me that little understanding that I have and more love than I could have ever known.
Thank you.
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Teri Buford 1974 Letter to Carolyn Layton
September 10, 1974
Dear Carolyn,
I really have gotten myself in a bind now. I’ve been seeing Larry Schacht when he came home from Medical School and really took him for a ride. He used to make me so sick with his pious attitude and keeping away from women while he was in school that I decided to cut him down to size. Anyway I told him that if he wouldn’t have sex with me that I would commit suicide, so he did. Well, now the joke’s on me cause I’m pregnant and I damn well better get rid of it before Larry comes back and finds out. You know he would want to take care of it and all and hey, I just can’t get into that. I know how you people in Peoples Temple feel about sex and responsibility but I just can’t get into it. I don’t know why I’m telling you all of this. Don’t tell Pastor Jones, I know that he would understand but that was a pretty mean thing that I did to Larry and I’m feeling bad about it now. Larry didn’t deserve that kind of treatment. Anyway I’m having an abortion on the 23rd and was wondering if I could come stay at your house afterwards just to talk things over. You know I have this sick side to my personality that causes me to do these cruel things and I was hoping that we could talk it out.
Your friend,
Teresa
/s/ Teresa
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Teri Buford Undated Letter to Carolyn Layton
Dear Carolyn:
You better tell Pastor Jones that I’ve really had it. Tell him that if he won’t go to bed with me that I will commit suicide. And that’s not all. I’m going to mail letters to several people and put some other letters in safety deposit boxes that should be opened in the event of my death. Of course they will all say that Rev. Jones was behind my death and I will gear my suicide to look like murder. So you better tell him that if he has any respect for his future in the church or if his wife and children want him out from behind bars that he had just better go along with this. He keeps turning me down week after week and I’ve really had it. His wife has had him for twenty years and it’s about time that someone else got in on it. So, Carolyn, tell him that I’m waiting on his answer.
/s/ Teresa
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Teri Buford 1974 Letter to Carolyn Layton
September 10, 1974
Dear Carolyn,
Well, I talked to Pastor Jones as you suggested and he was very kind, just as you said that he would be. I was really surprised. Here I am having quit the church and he offered any help to aid me. Anyway, he said that he certainly wouldn’t recommend an abortion and that I should only do that if that was what I wanted to do. I was really amazed at how understanding he was when I told him about my affair with Larry [Schacht]. So many people try to put all sorts of guilt on you but he was just kind and understanding. Thanks for the advice to go to him. You were right, he really is a good Pastor.
Your Friend,
/s/ Teresa
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Teri Buford Letter to Jim Jones Advocating Mass Death in Protest of American Capitalism
[Transcriber’s note: Though undated, this letter seems to have been written before Peoples Temple relocated to Guyana.]
To: Jim Jones
From: Terri Buford
Re: Planning
I feel that it is almost impossible to live a socialist life in the American society. It seems almost impossible to keep the outside corruption from seeping into the group and there is too much contact with the outside to allow anyone (excepting you) to get a high socialist moral conscientiousness. When the repression comes at most we will be able to survive status quo without any hope of furthering the movement or perfecting it and I feel that we would almost have to sell out to survive. I personally don’t think that life is worth selling out for. Going back to the religious context seems like a step backwards from where we want to go and again I don’t think that living is worth spreading the name of some god that doesn’t exist and not talking about social change. I think that if we want to try to live a socialist life we should try to get to China or completely isolate ourselves or else we should make a stand here that will open everyone’s eyes to the worldwide capitalist cruelty. Perhaps it is pessimistic but if we go on living the good “example” here that some traitor will nitpick us until we look so bad that no one will hear us when we say we are socialists. Looking at the youth in the group with a very few exceptions, they are too exposed to capitalists at school and on TV to be showing any substantial socialist character. I see no hope for living socialism in America as the government stands today. The action that I favor most is the whole group taking a stand against the injustice and die instead of going along with the Americans anymore. I think that letters should be sent all over the world protesting capitalism, American cruelty, murder in Chile and asking that the Sino-Soviet split be stopped[,] that there can be some sort of worldwide socialist attempt and cooperation between nations. (However I feel that the Chinese have the best example outside of you.) The reason that I would also choose dying rather than the exodus is that we are all so sick from the capitalist atmosphere that except for the very small children in the group we would all make pretty poor socialists and rather than contaminate our countries with
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us it would be better if we gave up our lives for the cause. (Not that dying is any sacrifice because living is the hardest of all.) All these ideas exclude you because you are the only real revolutionary in the world and I would have no objection if you were to live after we die, in fact I kind of expect it, and I don’t envy that position at all). However if it I decided for some reason that we can’t all die then I think that all of us except those that you choose should leave the country and leave you to do your work. I feel like we are a stone around your neck and that you could do so much more if you knew that the group was taken care of somewhere. I don’t think anyone should be allowed to beg to stay with you since everyone would want to and we’ve already pulled on you enough. Whatever the decision is for future planning I’m willing to do as told. However I think it would be beautiful if this whole group would make a nonviolent death stand against this government and the murder in Chile on Christmas Day. [Transcriber’s note: “Christmas Day” is circled, with an arrow to the words “or Thanksgiving Day,” followed by a deleted “or Nov. 7.”] The whole country and half the world would be forced to look at the situation and what would make hundreds of adults, children, and animals want to die. I am concerned that if we continue just barely surviving in this hostile country that someone will get us on some silly charge and then no one will listen to our socialist stand.
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Teri Buford Undated Letter of Thanks to Jim Jones
To: JJ
From: Terr
I just wanted to assure you that I am going to work hard. I am not going to be depressed further. I will not freak out. I am going to gain weight and quit trying to die. I am going to do everything that I can to help and cooperate, I want you to know that this is sincere. I would like to see this place be self-maintaining without you so that you will be free to go where you want and commit some of your life to doing what you have always wanted to do rather than being stuck here babysitting us. I will make this more of my responsibility and I sincerely hope that perhaps you can find a place on another island or something where you and your children and all can go and get away from here to rest and to lead a life that would be meaningful. – I am very sorry to have contributed to your current state of health and I will do all I can to improve everything so that you need not worry. – You have done more for me than anyone in the world. You have met every need possible and now I think it is time that I paid you back for all you have done for me. – The kindest thing that was ever said to me was the other day when you said I adopted you I didn’t have to take you. – I am sincerely appreciative and I will not give you any more shit—I sincerely apologize for getting fucked up and I certainly do not dislike Carolyn [Layton] – I just got paranoid for a while and I am finished with that—I sincerely hope to work it out here so that you can get away from time to time and live your own life. Thank you for taking me in and I promise I will do everything I can to help. Terri
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Teri Buford Note on Political Tensions in Guyana
(Editor’s note: The first two pages of this note are missing.)
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but I don’t want to drag this out much longer. I do think that the stage is set and it is just a matter of time before the P.N.C. [Peoples National Congress] talks – Jones is presenting some obstacle[.] however I think both the PPP [Peoples Progressive Party] and the P.N.C. will be convinced that it would be in both of their interests to gut him out. The FCH [Feed, Clothe and House program] is not working, the people are dissatisfied and now only time is needed and the PNC will be unstable. It is in my opinion the right time to introduce a new leader in Guyana. The young man we discussed in the States should suit the bill and he has agreed to do it. People here will love him especially being a doctor and all. Stop. Anyway—I will get back to you later on everything. Hope everything goes well with you.
Teresa Buford
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Teri Buford Undated Letter to Jim Jones
Since the letter is full of a lot of games, here is just where I’m at sexually (I think).
- I think about sex with you and do desire it because of a sick desire for acceptance.
- I feel others have become better apostolics because of it.
- I don’t like feeling this way cause I think I should be so homosexual that I wouldn’t want it.
- I’m afraid I only want it to get a chance to talk to you.
- I know this is selfish and I questioned writing it because I know what a mental fuck up I am and wouldn’t wish my self on anyone.
- I know I don’t not have my sexuality figured out or I would not ever think about going to bed with Anita [illegible surname]. I think about it and I know it would be no good for the group if I did.
- I usually repress most all my feelings about every one and I haven’t come to grips with any fuckings.
- I don’t think I should have sex with you since I’m not really sure that I don’t have V.D. because I’ve been too negligent to find out (I will take care of it).
- I often fantasize having sex with my old girlfriend. I know this is treasonous.
- Sometimes I daydream of being back in the gay world again. I know its treasonous.
- I have felt sorry for some of the homosexuals I lived with and wanted them here—I have never written them and never will.
- I think I’m lying to myself somewhere when I haven’t liked sex with any men and then fantasize about you.
- I think I also want it because I want attention and because I’m totally insecure.
- I’m sorry to put this shit on you, but my letters are full of B.S. I can certainly live without it and would not feel rejected without it.
Terri Buford
Thank you for being the most loving Father. That’s what I appreciate most.
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[Editor’s note: This letter also appears at BB-7-D10 – D11]
Teri Buford Typed Letter to Pat Richartz, assistant to Temple attorney Charles Garry
October 9, 1977
Dear Pat,
I am leaving today and thought that it might be in order to ask a favor in the event that something should happen to Jim and the organization before I see you again or before you get to Guyana yourself. In that you and Charles [Garry] and Dennis [Banks, American Indian Movement leader] are just about the only people with any understand of the group outside of the organization, should anything happen that would kill Jim or bring about a last stand on the part of the organization in Guyana – please try to put both his life and death in perspective to the people. I am sure that many will say that it was perhaps a “crazy or hysterical act” and my answer to that is that it has been the collective decision of the group and Jim for a long time that if it is not possible for us to live the lifestyle which we believe is the only fair and just way to live then we do believe that we maintain the right to choose the circumstances of our deaths. Jim has dared to believe in human strength and has shown us the beauty of a society based on principle; we have chosen collectively to opt out of a society that exploits human weakness. If we do make a last stand, it will not be as an act of giving up but rather as a demonstration in the hopes that some people will wake up and give those people who wish to live in equality a chance to do so. It will have been a last resort, we will have tried everything short of it to find a place where we could live our Marxist life-style in peace. I am not expecting anything to come up in the next few days so don’t worry, but on the other hand I don’t want to be so pollyannish as to assume that all will go well and leave here without asking someone sympathetic to interpret Jim’s commitment to an ideal in the event of his death. As I said before, I really am not expecting anything to come up, but I did want to feel secure that in the event anything would ever happen that someone would make an attempt to stop the maniac press from distoring his life further and that someone would try to bring about an understanding of his life to the people.
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Thanks for all the help you have been and for taking the time to listen to all our problems when I am sure that you have enough of your own. Take care — see you in Guayana.
/s/ Teri
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Teri Buford Letter to Jim Jones, Fall 1977
[Transcriber’s note: Though undated, context clues indicate Buford wrote this after the Six-Day Siege in September 1977, Eugene Chaikin’s return to America, and Chaikin’s subsequent return to Jonestown.
[There are numerous typographical errors and misspelled words in this document. For easier reading, they have been corrected. In addition, several of the names in this report are likely in code. They are designated by red type.]
Friday
TO: DAD
FROM: TERI
—–I realize that we have poor communication from time to time and frustrations over a lot of little things and I am sorry for my attitude on the radio at times and I am also sorry that I got so judgmental of Margaret for a time there. I know that there are good and bad sides of everyone and I think I was nitpicking at the bad. Please do know that I am with you all the way. I realize now that I should have taken Ed on more. Please know that my motivation was no agreement but I thought it was maintaining some kind of peace here. Obviously wrong strategy. Marvin I still don’t know how to deal with. Take him on and he feels that I think he is a traitor for expressing opposing view[s] and I don’t take him on and I am back to where I was with [Eugene] Chaikin. Frankly I am sure that there is some logical calm intelligent way of dealing with people like them but I don’t know what it is. I am rotten when it comes to psychology of personal relationship and blow it every time one way or another. Like when Irene went into [Temple attorney Charles] Garry’s office she undermined our whole position of taking certain stands legally and all and it really pissed me off talking about her private bank accounts, Mike Prokes being spanked, why you are called father, etc. She could have not answered them and didn’t need to add a lot of shit to it. Garry unfailing goes with her on reasoning because their reasoning[s] coincide more than mine and his do so naturally he takes her word over mine both due to position and the fact that he agrees with her viewpoint more than mine which he sees as reactive. So I told Chaikin about this problem and that with him gone I would have no back up because Garry will naturally take the more moderate of the two positions. – So Chaikin said that he did say to Garry to listen to my opinions just due the fact of working here. But I realize now that it was a mistake to blow off about Marcy [Marceline Jones] to anyone. I know it was a mistake and I regret it now because although I don’t know if he used it in this case of going
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during his negative times he could have easily gone to her and told her what I said because basically they agreed on positions as far as I could tell at the end. Both worrying about their children etc. So I played right into that too. From now on I promise you I will keep my mouth shut and only blow off to you in letters. I am sorry because I know I handle things poorly. If life was just paperwork it wouldn’t be so hard to deal with but I do terribly in dealing with people. I think. Irene comes in the radio rooms and tells me what to do and is adamant about it and then you are on the radio sincerely trying to get some work done or instructions and that always means trouble. I don’t know.
I hope you do know that despite my fuck up that I am sincerely with you. I find this whole conspiracy quite upsetting because I know that it is real and it bothers me that Garry would rather go out to a Chinese restaurant with Huey [Newton, Black Panthers founder] than to bother with us. It bothers me that we are a 9-5 do as little as you can case for them than a victim of conspiracy. I know for a fact that these people are trying to ruin you over there and here. I could pass a lie detector on that. I really think that it is time that we took a more aggressive position with these people and didn’t limit ourselves to one little corner of the earth. I noticed that neither Dick [Tropp] nor Ed minded having the information from the Tunnel strategy but I doubt that either one of them would really get down and crawl under.
—–I am sorry for doing such a poor job here and I know that is precisely what it is. I know I have said this many times before but I will try to get it more in order. I have turned into a compromiser. Find out what you want. Word it so that it will pass Dick and then word was passes Dick down that it passes Garry at that time of course it is unrecognizable as coming out of your mouth. —— I wish we could make some money for you back here as long as we are stuck here.
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I drink Pepsi too which I had stopped doing in Guyana and now started up again—and I know it is really shitty to drink when you all can’t. When Chaikin and I went to Garry’s house with [American Indian Movement leader] Dennis Banks, Chaikin took a drink by the way. You can always tell when people start drinking that they are feeling more self-confident and defiant of the office. At least I think so. —Anyway I have had no liquor since the last time you gave me a glass to go to sleep on one time when I was a nervous wreck here and Elavil hadn’t worked or something. I know better on that score. Also since you have left I have not taken any hardcore downers like reds or yellow like I did before and have also quit taking phenobarbital which I had resumed taking while on the last voyage to outer Mongolia. Occasionally when I think that my nerves are getting so flakey that I am unbearable to others as well as myself I have taken Valium. (About 4 times since you left that’s it.) I am sorry we are not doing better here. And I do promise you that from today on that any problems I have with Irene, or Margarte I will keep to myself or let out to you. I know that was divisive and a bad mistake. I really do promise to keep my problems to myself. Not Debbie [either Blakey or Touchette] not no one anymore. I mean that and I have never promised you this before but I do mean it—I won’t talk about Irene to Lilly [likely Maria Katsaris] or anyone. I just won’t do any of that anymore at all. I know that I could have cooled things between Debbie and Margaret more than I did too. I contributed to that some not at first but towards the last blow out we had on the radio about something. I sincerely do promise (and I rarely promise you anything other than loyalty to the end) that I will not voice negative remarks to anyone about anyone else. I won’t talk about Lilly to Irene nor Irene to Lilly. Only face to face talking. I do promise you I will shut my mouth and be a peacemaker. (My mouth hasn’t been that bad—I don’t think—but I can see where I willingly played into situations. Especially where I had a bone to pick).
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Anyway I really will do better. As creepy a person as I am I am with you till the end and regardless of Garry or all these fuck ass liberal[s] if they don’t help us in fighting this conspiracy then I think that we should do it alone. I agree that it is stupid to get arrested perhaps in the tunnel project and another thing that Rex and I discussed was that should we get caught or arrested you might feel obligated to come back and one thing that I want to make quite clear is that should I get arrested here and have the slightest idea that you are coming back on my account I will commit suicide and you will have no reason to come back. I would like some assurances from you that you will stay there no matter what happens here. Obviously this has to be said now because from jail it is hard to communicate. We are obviously careful (too much so) in all that we do here but should we ever get in trouble we don’t want to feel that we have ruined the cause and therefore it would be a great relief to us to know that if we do mess up here that you will not get involved and that we won’t be the cause of the ruin of the group. Further it would do you little good to return if the intent was to help because I know for myself and I think the same for some other[s] here—that it would be suicide to prevent that.
I miss you a lot and I am sorry that I project wanting to go to Guyana so often. I don’t have any right to feel that I have some special reason to go when others can’t (June, Lee, Dick who are more problematical than myself) I will do better here. I am glad to come to Guyana and looking forward to it sometime soon though I am not getting my hopes up on something not happening before that to ruin that. Whatever happened—I have total and complete faith in your commitment. No one in the history of the world has lived the philosophy that they believe in as do you. Take care.
Teri
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Teri Buford Letter to Jim Jones, Fall 1977.
[Transcriber’s notes: Though undated, context clues indicate Buford wrote this after the Six-Day Siege in September, Eugene Chaikin’s return to America, and his return to Jonestown.
[There are numerous typographical errors and misspelled words in this document. For easier reading, they have been corrected. In addition, several of the names in this report are likely in code. They are designated by red type.]
Wednesday
TO: DAD
FROM: TERI
I am certainly very sorry that I did not push to send Gene [Chaikin] on to Guyana sooner. He was showing the same pressure signs as was Harriet [Sarah Tropp] but I did not think that we could have done without him. Obviously we can. June [Crym] and I have begun working very closely together. I take all of Gene’s calls during the day and take his mail and then we go through the mail together every evening and we split up his work according to who has the most time and or capabilities in that area. We are doing it in an organized fashion and making up a daily list of questions to ask [Temple attorney Charles] Garry so that we don’t find ourselves in a mess. We are also making up daily law office reports of basically problems that have come up and what we did on them so that we can get input from Garry’s staff on our mistakes. I know that it may sound juvenile but it doesn’t require more than ten minutes to go over them and it could save us digging us into a legal hole which is quite possible without a lawyer. June and I both feel that Gene should not comeback because his job is hateful to him, and he undermines you in the process with Garry. Yesterday we pulled through with no disasters at all— Don Carroll’s probation officer called about a hearing for Gene which I had talked to Gene about before he left. I got an interview with Betty and Don Carroll about the case and Garry referred the case to Jim Herndon his associate to handle it— it should be an easy case. Gene left a number of uncashed checks made out to him and we have found a stamp with his name on it so we are going to stamp the checks and put them in his law office account. I have four signed checks to that account by both him and Tish [LeRoy] so that account can be closed out at any time. He left all of his personal tax materials with me and I can’t find all the things that he wanted finished up in the way of some cancelled checks so I am going to send on what he has together to his tax attorney who has been doing his taxes all this time.
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Chaikin needs copies of some passbooks for getting some passbooks from a bank and we will write for them as soon as I can dig up a power of attorney for Chaikin as he forgot to leave one with me. –We are working on getting all the documentary evidence needed on the Mertle case should it come up in court the legwork will be done. However that is a lot a lot a lot of legwork on finding some of the documentation that has been lost through the years of our less than perfect accounting office. This has been statreted [started?] on and Tish has been assigned to getting together an itemization of all of that $ that we put into each Mertle property and I am trying to locate the city orders to demolish certain properties— orders of condemnation to prove that their properties without us would have gone down the drain. ——I am worried about the tax reports that are supposed to be filed yearly with the state of California. Although we do not have to pay taxes we do have to file. The form is a 199B form. [Marginal note: “Follow Up”] We received a letter last week saying that we have not filed since 1973 and that if we don’t file that our corporate powers will be taken away from us. I am enclosing a copy of the letter. Chaikin became aware of this last week I think he was worried about it— apparently this is something that was a matter of routine to do for [Tim] Stoen but Stoen never told Chaikin about it or Chaikin doesn’t remember— I don’t know what the truth is— in either case no state exemption forms have been filed since Stoen quit doing it when Chaikin returned from Guyana in 1973. [Marginal note: “Ask Gene about realty”] —Chaikin advises to take our denominational reports and up them a bit and use them as a guideline for the state forms—- but the questions come in on declaring realty real estate which as I understand it could bring in an audit if we report it as unrelated business income and so it is somewhat of a dilemma. I checked through the old reports that Stoen filled out and he always left the property angle of it blank. In any case=== the IRS has never caught us on that so it may be wise to do the same thing on this stuff. June and I both think that we should check this out with the tax attorney at Garry’s
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office before turning it in. Gene has no magical answers to the problem as I have already talked it over with him so please don’t feel inclined to send him back. I think that with Garry he is a bad influence— (ask Harriet about that) and June has also said that she has been hateful to Chaikin since he came to the church and that she would find it exceedingly difficult to work with him further at this point although she would do it. Chaikin has an idea about changing our corporation to a new corporation to be formed this year (1977) so that it can fall under the “automatically exempt organizations” which law came into effect in 1969. In some ways this sounds very logical but I think that we need to check this whole brainstorm out carefully because it seems to me if you could run away from all your problems merely by changing your corporation every time that you thought that you would get sued then everyone and their brother would be doing exactly that. In fact I think that the old saying “piercing the corporate veil” meaning – it really is the same organization under a different guise – would be the case here. — (I feel that same way about what we did down south and that is why I think my past changes were only good to keep our people from finding the funds but virtually ineffective in keeping the government out if they really go hot on the case). Anyway perhaps there is some merit to it so we will check that our carefully. Chaikin has wanted us to drop off our tax materials with a tax attorney to check out our situation before the IRS came out front on our case. Chaikin said that he doesn’t feel that he understands the field that well and at the same time would like some expert advice on it. He said that it would take a tax attorney about three days’ time to work on our case at a price of about 300.00 a day. Chaikin felt that it was worth it in that he wasn’t well versed in the area and thought that it could be a trouble spot later on. In that I don’t know what your communications are with him at this point I thought that I should stress to you what he stressed to me so that you could make your decision on the matter. In any case— we can live wi
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without Chaikin so don’t worry about us— Garry said that he understands and we are working on some of our more piddly legal problems with James Herndon in the office who is a conscientious lawyer though not what you would call a charismatic courtroom figure—but in some ways I like his follow through better than Garry’s. I would not underestimate Garry’s feelings towards you. He is not critical and he doesn’t think that you are nuts though he was upset this weekend with this whole ordeal but he also did fly to Chicago to talk to [Guyana Deputy Prime Minister Ptolemy] Reid and then go to Indiana to talk to those people so you can’t say that even when he disagreed with the stance that he was unwilling to work. He called as soon as he got in and I had told Pat [Richartz, Garry’s assistant] that Chaikin has told Paula [Adams] that Garry and I had said that JJ was nuts and Garry was really upset about it and denied it saying that he disagreed with that weekend position at the time— that he could even bend so far as seeing it done to effect a result but that he in no way thought you were nuts and that in fact that he thought that Chaikin was off his rocker under the pressure and that Chaikin was behaving rather not sanely under what he called “shell shock”. He was not critical of Chaikin in particular—he thought he cracked under the pressure but that he would come around and that he was sorry that it had happened. He said that Marcy [Marceline Jones] had asked him if she should go down and try to talk to you and that he said that he really didn’t think her input was going to change the world or anything so if that was the reason that she wanted to go to forget it. The letter Pat showed me of Garry’s was greatly relieving because he showed what he really thought of you and I am sure it was not a strategy that she showed it to me — it was real. He respects you and likes you a lot. Huey [Newton, Black Panthers founder] has remained supportive of you—he doesn’t necessarily understand and I find it easier to explain our position to Pat and let her do the talking with Huey rather than get into it myself. I have talked to both Pat and Garry about our perspective and they can see it— [Handwritten at bottom of page: (at the time he did have a problem with it but he is very supportive now)
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Angela [Davis] called here numerous times and so did Kindra Alexandra and Fania somehow heard about it and offered support anyway that she could. I cannot say that they all agreed or understood even if they said so to our faces I don’t know that they really did so that is just something that we have to live with at this point that everyone is not going to understand us. Dennis [Banks, American Indian Movement leader] seemed to be the most understanding— he has been in the position of fighting for his “camp” and your situation was almost a ditto of his life so his support came without reservation and so did Leigh Brightman’s. When Dennis heard what was going on he said that there was going to be a meeting of the United Nations Conference where it would be the first time in the history of 300 years of the American Indian oppression that they have had a chance to voice their genocide internationally—Russell Means [AIM member] was going and since Dennis cannot travel Bill Wapahalpa was going in Dennis’s place to talk. Dennis gave up his statement on the Indian oppression and rewrote his speech for you and what is happening to you in Guyana. I can assure you from what I have read and heard that next to the fact that Dennis could well have been harmed for the statement he made against the Treasury Department this move in Geneva was the greatest sacrifice that the AIM movement could make for anyone because it is the first time that they have ever had an international voice. I called Dennis this morning and told him that the arrest order had been rescinded and he was very happy— he said that he would get hold of Bill who was leaving for Switzerland today and have him put in his original statement for the AIM movement— I said that you had said that you did not want him or the AIM movement to make that sacrifice for you. I hope that that was ok to say. Dennis’s loyalty was nothing for show. I know that Kamook [wife of Dennis Banks] was worried sick but supportive of you but worried about Dennis and how this whole thing would affect his extradition. She has held up through this thing too and has repeatedly said that had it not been for you that she would not have seen her baby again etc. Leigh Brightman called me two nights ago and he
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said that he had never seen the likes in his life. That since he had come on TV in support of you that he had people calling him from all over asking him why he got sucked in with us. He said it was like the whole public believed the media smear and that we didn’t need to go court because we had already been tried and convicted in the public mind. – The media made no big deal of it either— you would think that they would be[;] either they are scared or paid off—- Carolyn Craven at Channel 9 hates us and refuses to write on us.—- I talked to Jeff at the Church of Scientology today and apologized for ignoring all of his calls and explained that until we can put in the public statement about the Treasury Department that I [c]ouldn’t see giving him a bunch of BS when I couldn’t talk about the case. Scientology is taking on Garry as a lawyer also which will be helpful to us because the[y] have a lot of information that they have learned about the government that will be helpful background for Garry to have in our case. Anyway—Jeff was telling me about the FBI and Treasury attacks on them and all and encouraged us to proceed with haste on those Freedom of Information statements that we were getting out. He told me a very interesting story about how in their overseas mission that the US government had succeeded in running [Scientology founder L.] Ron Hubbard out of the country along with all of their people. He cited Rhodesia as an example of that. Jeff said that he would send some books over about it and also some stuff about some of the things that they have found out through the Freedom of Information Act. I saw something about the Panthers the other evening and the FBI report said that the most dangerous aspect of their program was their “free breakfast program” because it built up such good will in the community. I am sure that you have heard this all before. —- Al Brodsky [Brotsky, attoery in Garry law firm]came in yesterday when I was going over the Mertle stuff on what we need for the suit with Garry and he said that he had just returned from Moscow. He did say that there is a place in Russia – a remote and “rather chilly”
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area where the Jewish people were able to go who disliked Russia but it was still a territory of Russia—he said that that might be an area worth checking out. — Anyway – I can’t remember the name of it but I think that we should get good old Jewish Dick Tropp to find out from the people at Peoples Worlds a little more about this place and then proceed to write them on a regular and friendly basis. Basically I don’t think that we should leave Guyana but if we ever run into this again I don’t want to be pushed with our backs against a wall. If I had my way after going through this these past few days I would buy a ship that would hold 600 people so if nothing else you all could float around to a more favorable post. These past few days have been worse than my worst imagination. I know that it was very strained on your side but of course you know how your own people are—- so I can only report to you what happened here and only in this perspective so as I tell you how people responded please don’t think I am not empathetic to your torture— only that I am reporting the responses of people here. This is the first time I have ever seen Dick Tropp break down and literally sob— getting that final statement together tore him apart—-he kept saying they can’t do it they can’t do it they can’t throw twenty years away— we’ve got to do something— Dick stayed loyal through the whole thing but emotionally I have never seen him so shattered at the idea of having to do a press conference with you all dead—or half-dead—or perhaps vegetables—the thought was horrible. Then Mike [Prokes] gets on the radio and reminds me not to be jovial at the press conference which I had no intention of going to because I didn’t feel that I could hold together to go that and I thought that it was cruel and crass for Mike to project that we might be jovial when practically everyone of us was taking tranquilizers to maintain to put together this conference that you wanted to do. The press practically gave you a white-out when the banks thing happened and we knew that no one in the left or establishment press would interpret this thing fairly.—- we were doing the legwork but didn’t feel that
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the press would ever get this thing in perspective. Although I can understand the perspective— it is the typical left feeling that adults can do what they want with their lives but that no one has the right to make decisions for children—–of course that was only a couple that voiced that but I think that it is a running theme and I don’t agree that this world is even worth living in – I wish an earthquake would hurry and happen because life is without hope as counterrevolutionary as that may sound—it is hopeless. — I don’t know — I am just telling you how people were here— Tom Adams held up ok—he wouldn’t leave the radio—he was worried—he didn’t cry or anything—Mike Carter had a hard time keeping himself together[;] he was loyal and unquestioning but worried about you and Jocelyn [Carter] and his baby. If gunfire would have come Mike without a doubt would have been our first suicide. Rosemary [Williams, Peoples Temple critic] made a miserable situation more miserable. [Deleted sentence] People stayed loyal to you but I would say that everyone was emotionally shattered by the experience. When you gave us two and one half hours to find Doctor Reid [Guyana Deputy Prime Minister Ptolemy] before you killed yourself Debbie [either Blakey or Touchette] and I took turns on the phones calling everything under the sun trying to find him. One would talk while the other one was pulling themselves back together. I don’t know if you know the horror I felt when you said you would be dead in two and a half hours and I learned that Reid had just left the hotel and the soonest the next person would see him would be four hours later. We had police in three cities working on it. Indiana, Washington, and Chicago refused. It was the most horrible ultimatum I have ever been given in my life. I didn’t tell Irene about it until after the time limit was up and you had done nothing about it. Please know that I was with you all the way— it was shattering to think about 600 people with no place to go and no one outside of a few of us who would ever understand. We would try to explain to the press but it would be futile. —- I am
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furious that people won’t get off their duffs and make Guyana economically dependent on us and work on that rather than always going crazy or demanding your attention on every little matter. I think that it is time that our people grew up. This statement isn’t meant for Julia— I know that Kimo [Prokes] needs a family but for everyone else I am pissed that they can’t get motivated and make contacts and make Guyana dependent on us so that this will never happen again. [Marginal note: “Unrealistic political analysis”] Media man Prokes could have been building PR rather than flipping out on the radio. Paula could be working rather than getting paranoid, when situations come to this kind of climax I hold our people responsible too. If you haven’t slept for 7 days then I feel that our people have no respect for the leader. Someone beside you can take on Lois – and also make some decisions—- so what if mistakes are made[?] at least you will live longer. Being here with Sharon [Amos] gone, Jean [Brown] gone, Dick [likely Tropp] in New York with the Grenada people, and Lee [Ingram] in New York with the Grenada, and Vera [Young] in New York with them and all we are making decisions and making mistakes but we have found that it can be done and that you don’t hate us every time we make a mistake. People don’t need to ask you every time that they shit. — At least we have learned that here—through trial and error— we have found the value in discussing with each other—consulting. When by chance we do something right here it is group effort[,] nothing more or less and I don’t know why some group decisions can’t be made there without you and if they are wrong then they can learn from their mistakes[,] after all the world doesn’t expect us to be perfect. —– Anyway—June and I are surviving without Chaikin. And we can prefer to do it that way if that is ok with you. But please don’t take June down there because at this point we need each other to carry out this shit. We also want to make money here to help pay for the equipment that is needed on the project and all so Jean Brown should come back if you can spare her as she is a steady person here. We can survive without her but we need the money our financial situation isn’t exactly lovely. Julia is worried about
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the cash that I have 100,000.00. It is under a trustee safety deposit box through Garry’s firm— it can be removed by Carolyn [Layton], myself, Marcie, or you on one signature only. Julia doesn’t understand it but when you are having the police come to your door on a regular basis over children and this and that and also have been accused of hording cash in the paper and smuggling it out of the country then there is a need for some security in my opinion. [Marginal note: “? I never knew or mentioned the subject”] The other 170,000 Lucindia has (I think that that is about the amount) but a lot of that is going to have to be drifted in the bank accounts here because we are having trouble paying our bills. The trust account of 122,000.00 is just in savings and we want to leave it there until we are on safe enough grounds here to feel that we can send it to Guyana. It will never be for use up here unless dire emergency. That is earmarked for Guyana to keep the IRS out of it. It is safe from seizure right now and we are pretending that it doesn’t exist for practical purposes and the same for the 100,000 that we have in the safety deposit box. If Julia is worried about it I will send it down with someone but I think that is very risky at this point. I don’t like the money order thing either. If you want more money transferred to Guyana then we can pull it out of Garry’s trust fund for you. We are making a concentrated effort to put cash back in the banks to pay bills with. If you don’t want that part of the cash in the box then tell me and we will put it in the church or in the basement of Garry’s place—neither of which I feel is safe from burglary in particular. Whatever you want for whatever reasons I will do— the way it is set up I feel is the safest because you don’t have all your eggs in one basket and also right now we are very vulnerable. It is my opinion that this is the safest way—- but I will do whatever told. We had a near heart failure when we couldn’t find Dorthey’s wretched cat for a weekend. It is a creep but then so is its mother. Jane is taking special care of the fool thing.
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Anyway—with the finances—we will do whatever you all tell us to do—there was some worry on the radio when I mentioned that we had asked Hank some questions about it—- we don’t want to be fucking up to organization so we do check some procedures before they all come down to haunt us later—-at this point we are trying to grope our way through—and we don’t want to be making mistakes—– financial mistakes seem to be the usual method of the government immobilizing an organization and I personally don’t want to be the government’s excuse to ruin PT.
So much for today—I am going to get back to work and I am still sane and I still know that you are too so don’t worry about me and I am not worried about you and I resent Chaikin saying something to the contrary. I don’t say that and I will take a lie detector to prove it if need be.
Miss you a lot — Teri
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Teri Buford Letter to Jim Jones, Fall 1977
[Transcriber’s notes: Though undated, context clues indicate Buford wrote this after the Six-Day Siege in September, Eugene Chaikin’s return to America, and Chaikin’s return to Jonestown.
[There are numerous typographical errors and misspelled words in this document. For easier reading, they have been corrected.]
Thursday
TO: DAD
FROM: Terri
THINGS THAT I DID WRONG DURING THE “CHAIKIN CRISIS”
I hope things are better with [Eugene] Chaikin and I am sorry for my part in them. I do feel considerable guilt for this happening for my mishandling of many parts of it. 1. Gene begged to get out of here and his agitation was showing on a regular basis. 2. His health was bad and we needed help and pulled on him when he did not feel that he could be pulled on. 3. When Gene was negative I heard him out and rather than get in a big debate with him I told him to tell you his problems in private with you. I told him that where he blew it all the time was being so negative in front of others. This was the night before he left. He never told me that he thought you were insane but I did think that he thought that and I should have reported it immediately but I was afraid to say anything because of the last time that I reported such an issue it was a horrible hassle and I was hoping that this thing would blow over once he got down to you. I should have said something. 4. I for one pushed Chaikin further than he was capable of being pushed and he didn’t like the pressure—- I checked virtually all decisions with him and before when there were more people here I didn’t do that so much— I would just find three sound opinions. Chaikin found himself in the midst of everything. 5. I jumped Chaikin last week hard for changing the date of the press conference with [American Indian Movement leader] Dennis Banks from Thursday to Monday and ran him down for doing that without consulting but I was pissed and he saw probably more anger than logical thinking. However we did get the conference when we wanted it. I know that I did a lot of things wrong but I NEVER THOUGHT THAT YOU WERE CRAZY SO I NEVER SAID THAT AND I DON’T KNOW WHERE HE GOT THAT. When he called me from Georgetown that one night I was not talking on the phone to him because I didn’t think that in my position that I was supposed to get in a dialogue with an attorney who was in a TOS [Timothy O. Stoen] position so I just told
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him that he could talk but that I wasn’t getting into a dialogue. I asked him his reasoning and ended it by saying that that was his opinion and that he should talk to you before reaching such conclusions on his own. Perhaps he interpreted that as agreement basically my philosophy is not to get into dialogue with traitors because [I] don’t know if I will contiduct what you have said—I don’t know your position and I don’t know if it is wise for me to have anything to do with a lawyer who his hostile who happens to be aware of my particular legal situation so well. So I said very little—Sandy [Bradshaw] heard the tape you can ask her.
Another place where I didn’t handle the situations well is when I was told to get the message to anyone that unless [Guyana Deputy Prime Minister Ptolemy] Reid got to you that you would be dead in 2 and one half hours. I took that quite seriously and although I agree with the last stand philosophy Reid was in an airplane when I got the message and I cried not because I disagreed with you but rather because I felt like something that I was physically unable to accomplish would cause a last stand. My position from there on in was to do all and anything possible to provide alternatives for you given that if you were to have a last stand that it wouldn’t be because of us not finding a place. I frankly remember quite clearly two weeks ago when you told me on the radio that my not relaying a message would cause you all to be dead. That was when you had wanted me to find [Peoples Temple attorney Charles] Garry to tell him that you were all willing to die if this wasn’t done and Garry was out of town. I have never cried around Garry but during that brief period of Reid in an airplane and us calling police in the various cities and Pat [Richartz, Garry’s assistant] was helping us Pat was on the phone once while I was in tears and I am sorry and it wasn’t out of disagreement but rather because I FELT that it was my fault that I couldn’t reach Reid and I was frustrated. I wasn’t dealing even with your strategy because your strategy was so short timed that there was not time to do anything but take it as true. —–methodology in getting action probably contributed to the lack of good PR here as a
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result. We had to page Garry out of a conference that he was giving a speech at— we had to call Dennis back up from LA to Davis—Angela [Davis] was up well into the night calling people in New York etc— [California Lt. Gov. Mervyn] Dymally was called and called and called –-and Huey [Newton, Black Panthers founder] and Garry and it was relayed to all of them as a life and death matter. It did get results and the order was rescinded but I honestly feel now that we are really going to have to pay for it in PR somehow because I think that with the exception of Dennis that people helped to stop you from fighting not because they felt that you were right. Anyway—I think that it is good that these people were able to call in and I am glad that the government now realizes what a stink that we can make. I do hope we can patch up some of our contacts here before anything breaks loose again. I am sorry that we fucked it with Chaikin this time. You were so very right when you said that I shouldn’t talk problems with Chaikin or worry him until the time really came for real. PLEASE DON’T SEND CHAKIN BACK HERE HOWEVER_ I SINCERELY THINK THAT HE WILL UNDERMINE WITH GARRY.
– Chaikin and Dick [Tropp] by the way see eye to eye on a lot of things so we might take heed of Chaikin’s actions as being Dick’s actions sometime in the future. The two of them think a lot alike.
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[Transcriber’s note: There are numerous typographical errors and misspelled words in this document. For easier reading, they have been corrected.]
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Teri Buford Undated Letter to Jim Jones
TO: Father
From: Terri
Socialism is the state of complete economic equality. When socialism exists then racism and class struggle will be killed. Without socialism there is little point in thinking that racists or upper class people will change because it is the economic system that has caused the people to divide. Socialism will not come non-violently. No one gives up power without a fight. Father is the D of P. He can give the directions the guidance and the authority to hold the movement together. America is so sick that socialism may not be possible at this point. However that is no reason not to try. In a socialist society people would work as they could, take the responsibility that they could handle and take only what they need. Socialism is the only fair, just and humane way to live. Socialism or communism is love. Without communism there can be no love because there would be no justice. Father is the only person who loves because he is the only one who lives the principle. He is fair, just, sensitive, his interests are always in the best interests of the group. Socialism will not come without self-criticism of those seeking it. Without the correction of the individual there can be no correction of the state. Father understands and acts out the meaning of equality, fairness.
What will I do:
Aside from the dramatic, things which I see as ego….dying for the cause, jail and all. What I need to do more than anything is to do day by day work in a careful conscientious way. I need to show kindness to the people I talk to and work with. I need to be as sensitive to others’ problems and feelings as I am to my own. I need to dress in a manner that would be a credit to socialism and not like I do which is a mess and a disgrace to the cause. I NEED TO listen closely to what everyone says, listening is the greatest teacher. I need to accept the most boring of responsibilities and know that it may go on forever without let up. I need to constantly remember that a pissy attitude on my part may be the thing that makes a person leave, or that a negative word on my part could reinforce someone’s negativity.
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I sometimes make short matter of fact comments when dealing with people, I’m too arbitrary sounding and I am sure it bothers people. I need to treat others like I would like to be treated myself. I need to make myself more open to getting disciplined or yelled at, take the correction and continue working without other feelings. I would be glad to kill, die or go to jail for socialism, I will make the commitment to stick with the day-by-day routine which really is the essence of the work and do it well and treat people with consideration and understanding.
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[Transcriber’s note: There are numerous typographical errors and misspelled words in this document. For easier reading, they have been corrected. In addition, one of the names in this letter is likely in code. It is designated by red type.]
Teri Buford Undated Letter to Jim Jones, likely 1977
TO: JJ
FROM: TB
RE: PAT RICHARTZ [assistant to Temple attorney Charles Garry]
Pat I feel is a lot of the key to getting Garry moving on issues and frankly I find it much easier to work a lot of the stuff through her and he knows it. I don’t back off from talking to him nor at this point am I intimidated by his verboseness—rather than how it would appear he invites argument and he doesn’t get all put out by opposing viewpoints. But Pat is very much on your side. She has some mixed feelings I think from time to time but if she were not with him I think that she would join (don’t worry[;] I am not proselytizing). The other night when I called Garry about 8pm and asked him if he would fly to Grenada the next day and he had just returned from Indiana I got a no. However—Pat called me up and told me that she was going to fight him to get him to go. —- On other times when we have present things and Garry has disagreed with our strategy and Pat happened to agree she would say “Look I have something to say about this case too and I think thus and so….” She has been extremely supportive. She has offered to come over here and make calls to the press for us. She offered to set up our last-stand press conference. She called Huey [Newton, Black Panthers founder] and got him on with you. Although Garry speaks very emotionally at times about you I think that levelly speaking she shows the follow through and stick-with-us-itness that we need on a regular basis. She goes ahead with things that Garry doesn’t follow through with. She will call a lawyer and find out what is going on or put a private investigator checking facts out and that kind of stuff and does some not-so-kosher things (like we do) to get information on things and then just doesn’t tell Garry unless he should catch her. I am sure that Marcy [Marceline Jones] has told you some of her past. I have had little contact with outsiders on a regular basis in the past 5 years (and it is a shocking reawakening to me to see how lonely and alienated these people are. Even the “great” Charles Garry – a man afraid of death — afraid of age —– always seeking reassurance (although I think he is a good lawyer). And Pat’s life is a void. She lives through her cases. Although quite bright and capable has in my opinion a poor self-image. Although she is well-known in some respects—I find her insecure. I saw a streak of paranoia in her (very subtle like Julia shows paranoia sometimes) in her thinking that she should leave the room when Dennis Banks [American Indian Movement leader] came because he might not trust her. But she seems in my opinion to be well
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on your side. She is dependent on Garry for sure and he on her. Their lives are completely vicarious and in spite of their fame there is always the hint of regret that they are always on the outside looking into groups etc. Pat has been beat up by FBI agents and not talked…been ostracized and not gone to the police—she is a remarkable person but the kind of loneliness and frustration that these people show though they try to hide it just reaffirms my faith more on why the communal structure is the only way to survive. The only sane way of life. These people are miserable. Life has no value without a group. Pat reminds me of a cross between Carolyn [Layton] and Sharon [Amos]—she has Sharon’s spunk in getting into things and taking on issues and Carolyn’s organization—she’s a good organizer. Around Garry she jokes but sometimes gets very serious[;] around me alone she rarely jokes—in fact I haven’t seen it at all. She jokes obviously for Garry’s approval. The whole thing is sad. Pat was willing to do the press conference over Garry’s stout objection—she said if you wanted to do it that she would do it. And she called continually asking if she should go to the office yet or what she should do. She sent her three kids to other peoples’ houses because she didn’t think that it was good for them to be around if something was going to break loose in Guyana. She has told me that she understood your position and why you were sticking by it – I have never heard that out of Garry. She wants someone to talk to – that is obvious. — She calls here regularly whether there is really business or not—she lets me know when she is going out – where she can be reached—how long she will be gone–. But I know that is not all helpfulness – she wants approval—she is bright and capable but wants acceptance. When Garry is out of town she calls me up to tell me things that she would normally tell him. Then she will call me back and ask me not to tell anyone—She and Dennis are kind of a close match for outsiders in support of you. I think he understands the concept of death more and your viewpoint and I think he likes you—and the other side is that he is lucky to be on time for anything including your press conference—whereas Pat – is less in touch with death at this point but yet does more work for you—I feel she likes you also. I wouldn’t count on either of them being long-lasting (this is forever) but for now they are supportive as you are going to get. I think Dennis understands and won’t back down—-I think he is limited in some respects intellectually and not capable of giving the backup he would
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BB-7-U3
like to give you. Also culturally there are some profound differences in mannerism and Dennis you would think hated you until you found out quite the contrary. He rarely smiles—(why should he) rarely shows any emotion – but when he talks he talks 100% commitment. Dennis is in my opinion very quiet and withdrawn but I think that he won’t back down on his stand. I believe that he is sincerely appreciative of your stand for him and he knows the meaning of a debt. But when you ask who understood your stand—-I think only Dennis—I do think however—that Pat came close to it—and as far as deeds and actions go she was as supportive as if she did support it.
(PS – just in case your cynical side is reading this note—I realize that all relationships no matter what they are are sexually-based consciously or subconsciously however—I have no sexual motivations towards Pat so don’t get worried. —)
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Teri Buford Letter to Jim Jones
[Transcriber’s note: In the original file, documents BB-7-V1 through BB-7-V5 are in mismatched order. For clarity purposes, the pages have been organized in their proper order.]
To: Jim Jones
From: Terri Buford
C/O Barbara Hoyer
P.O. Box 4
R.W., Ca
485-8024
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BB-7-V3
Jim,
I was reluctant to write this because I did not want to show full face my insecurity and paranoia.
I often feel like I am a disgrace to council. I Feel that the peoples opinion of council goes down because I am on council. I often feel that I am untrusted and handled with kid gloves. I often feel that the best thing I could do for you is to stay away from you since I do pull on you. I feel that I pull to much on you for affection. Sometimes I think that you wish I had never come but that your love keeps me here.
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BB-7-V2
I have had many sexual affairs. With men I felt used and with women the guilt became too unbearable for a prolonged relationship. I have tried to repress any such feelings toward you since I thought they were wrong. On several occasions I have dreamed of you as a woman. Since the group has opened up about their feeling toward you I have opened up more with mine. I often fantasize hugging you. I rarely get much further than that since I am afraid of rejection. (When I was young I had wanted to hug my ex-father – however never once did this even happen). I can’t act out much further in my fantasies with you because I always think
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BB-7-V4
you would hate the whole ordeal and only carry through out of love.
I often resent Caucasian people because they remind me that I have white skin. I resent being white, having military parents, having not suffered enough. Sometimes I feel like hiding from you so you won’t have to constantly look at me and be reminded of all the white trash in the world. I am ashamed of my race and past. I feel even more rejected by you because of this. (I know this is all in my mind)
I am hostile to every male, too much so.
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BB-7-V1
This letter has forced me to accept a sexual attraction to you. I know that where I thought I was above it before I was really afraid of facing rejection by you and more afraid of facing myself.
Except for you all my sexual feelings are homosexual. I don’t understand how this fits in. I really long more for affection, for father-like love than an actual affair.
I often feel you, staff, and everyone are too easy on me because you think I can’t take it. Thank you for caring so much.
Terri Buford
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Teri Buford 1977 Letter to Jim Jones on Mail Censorship
RE: CORRESPONDENCE TO YOU:
The only way that anyone could have gotten to that letter that said do not read—burn—is to have opened up your mail again. I had that inside other notes for you so I can only assume that that once again—all of the stuff has been gone through.——This therefore inhibits naturally any real feedback to you which is hard enough to do anyway. I cannot understand why it is repeated that things that say to you only are gone through in G-Town [Georgetown]. I would like to respond to some financial planning that I feel would be in order but feel that it is unwise to do so in view of the fact that I am sure that no one could have found that envelope and burned it had they not gone through everything else. In that we can’t talk on the radio—- and we have no phone—-I find it disconcerting that the only (and slow at that) means of communication we have goes through a censoring process. Naturally I am not so foolish to think that others don’t go through it and all after you do but the only thing that I ask is that you make the decisions on who reads it and not someone in Georgetown. I don’t care what you do with it after that. I write knowing full well that all I say is a matter of permanent record—but I don’t feel that it is right for people to go through it first for reason being that now that this has happened twice (that I know about) there is no way that I can voice any disagreement with the office alone—but rather now have to keep in mind who may be going thought [through] this and what effect what I say may have on them. I could care less who you give this too after checking through it so as to be sure that no one’s feelings are hurt and all—- but I consider this G-town censorship—- poor planning on their part. Personally I don’t care—- people should know I miss you so I don’t care if they read that I write it once in a while— but if they are beginning to go through all as a matter of routine—-I find that irritating. I am not upset about it but I certain[ly] don’t dare utter a word about anyone there because this is happening too much for my sane brain to believe that there isn’t something going on. Frankly I don’t think that you would condone it. But I had that letter marked burn only in an another envelope that should not have been opened. So hell— I don’t care— I don’t believe that you condone this kind of snoopiness— and I don’t care who you give it to after opening—but right now—I have reservations that you are getting mail at all. Like that tape that came in with [Eugene] Chaikin— you didn’t get it till days later. But I am frustrated that one[,] the mail is checked first and secondly—I don’t know then if you get it ever. Organizationally speaking I can’t see you operating that way. I will go along with whatever though.
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BB-7-AA24
-Sorry can’t get more down to you this time. I hope you can get some rest. I do remember what you said about how next year will be. —- I am looking forward to coming down though I am not counting on it –and of course I am not looking forward to having to come back here. I am disgusted with this place— I hate living in America—- I wrote you how I felt about it in Guyana and I still feel the same way. — I find all these outsiders disgusting and half of our insiders disgusting. — I find myself disgusting too. — At least you people have the peace of mind that your last days won’t be spent doing creepy things like having to talk to liberal degenerates like Hank who are so smug about themselves and have nothing better to do than flaunt their love life and big names. Hank’s lady told me that it really bothered her about him about how big name you got to be to get his attention. — This whole setup disgusts me. — At least you are all spending your final days trying to live a lifestyle that is right and decent and not based on this sick shit. Even if it only lasts one more day in Guyana you all have tried whereas these pseudo liberal fascists talk a lot of rhetoric and have never lived a day communally or with a real intent of economic equality in their lives. Their only involvement with Marxism is for publicity and fame. They are counter-everything we believe in. They use Marxism for fame and grandeur and have made it a product of merchandise for sale here in America. They are ugly sick pigs— every one of them. They make me sick, Hank and the whole crew. SUPERFICIAL. Not one of them could hold a candle in character to the absolute worst that we have on the farm. I miss you a lot. And I believe emphatically of the structure of this organization and in your commitment and character and stability that has made it possible. It is quite true that we are the only group in America that actually lives what we believe 24 hours a day—all others bar none are 9-5 revolutionaries— they are punks and they make me absolutely sick. No one is willing to live a humble decent lifestyle other than you. And those that talk the rhetoric of revolution in this country will never do—it—and you will never change Americans— gun or no gun— their selfishness is written in their genes and those who say that you should stay and fight just want to be part of this system. I hate having to meet with these sleezy bastards—smug and self-righteous about the “Dialectic”. They don’t know how to live it. Fuck them. I miss you a lot… Take care………..Teri
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Teri Buford Undated Letter to Jim Jones, Spring 1978
(Transcriber’s note: This was likely written in the spring of 1978, judging by the references to Carolyn Layton’s parents’ impending visit to Jonestown, which occurred in mid-May 1978.)
Jim—
I think it is pretty clear that I should go back. Or at least my stomach turns over everytime you say you need someone back there. If it would lower your blood pressure for me to go I can do it. If you want me to take Marcie [Marceline Jones] with me so she won’t be her when CL’s [Carolyn Layton] parents come I can do that also—although I do feel that she is either magnificent or rotten under pressure—but she may be unduly reactive to CL’s parents so perhaps it would be in order for her to hit the Capital (Washington) and then do a press conference in SF. We could get her back in 3 weeks, she could do some good, and would be gone for CL’s parents. Anyway-it might be less of a drain on you—however-I don’t think she will hold together more than 3 weeks. If she went for DC & SF-she could get some effect done- Teri