[Editor’s notes: This document was transcribed by Kathryn Barbour. The editors gratefully acknowledge her invaluable assistance.]
[copy of file folder labeled]
Statements Of Committment [Commitment] To Death
[handwritten on front, in large letters:] Done
Social Welfare Report
No visits, or calls from senior aids
I’d like to express my feeling toward our decision last night. Frankly, I was very disappointed that we decided to live. I know I’m very selfish but I was getting very impatient at the debate over the whole thing – I wanted to do it right away. Especially when a blood bath is a certain reality – I voted to die now and will not have the responsibility of seeing our children go through the hell of battle or hear their screams. Again I’m being selfish but it’s not death I fear … it’s living … I do not want to live anymore!
I didn’t ask about the other people who weren’t here because I know that as many times as this has been seriously considered that arrangements for that have already been made – I apoligize [apologize] for falling the decision on you. I still would have the masses committed sucide [suicide] and leave a deligation [delegation] to meet the boat when they
It would be so beautiful to die a very peaceful death with my family. I’m so very sorry that we didn’t go through with it. Please override the decision of those who are afraid to die before this traitor brings all hell down upon us.
Maybe I’m not reflecting upone myself enough – but I don’t want to live anymore.
C-5-a-4 [handwritten note, 2 pages]
[Re:] Lynetta Jones
I’d like to thank you for giving me the honor to have served one of the greatest persons I’ve known other than you. I often wondered why? it had to be her or if so why my life couldn’t have been exchanged for hers. She had so much to offer to the cause. I should’ve written this up before now, but I really didn’t want to believe that her life would end in the near future as you had told me, but yet I knew it would because you had never told me anything wrong or stated something would happen that didn’t. I really feel a terrible guilt, because I feel I could’ve made her life more meaningful in her last days. I could’ve and know I could have, but my own selfishness contributed to the death of the only other true friend I have had in this socialist cause other than you, Jim. Lynetta told me that she felt insecure every [ever] since I’d begun nursing school. At first she said she was proud of me, not that I’m not still proud of you, but I just have that feeling. I knew very well what she meant. She observed the bourgeoise [bourgeois] pattern (Laziness) in me, such a terrible pain to inflict on a woman of her great character & worth. I promised her I would work & be a good nurse & never be uncaring or bourgeoise nurse that the capitalist system teaches to be. I will do what ever is necessary for me to do & be grateful that I’m able to do that, because I know if you had not taken me in when I was victimized by the system to drugs, dope pushing, burglary & theft, prostitution, any way just about you can name that the poor oppressed young person has to use as a means of survival, I would either be in prison or dead. Most of the people I associated with are dead or in prison or still victimized. I thank you, Jim, for chosing [choosing] me, to be one of the chosen ones. I thank you again for giving me the privilege to have known & cared for one of the most loving, self sacrificial personalities, I have ever known. (Other than you Jim) I will stand for what she believed in “by my works.” I do not consider my so called mom anymore, because she can never in a million years compare with the codes & laws that Lynetta Jones stood for. It would probably “kill” her at this time or any other time, I’m sure.
Thank you Jim
Cheryle [McCall; same handwriting in following note on same page]
I think that the time has come for “An eye for an eye & tooth for tooth.” I think that a plan should be made for the different ways of death & the people chosen to be given that honor. It should be done Morphia [Mafia] style. Between Jonathan Jackson’s “6,000” ways to kill & Allende’s [Pinochet’s] tortures of Chileans, surely everyone will be equally treated. No one will get no more or no less than the other. We can still kill 2 birds with one stone. End the treasonous thought of other people in the future & still let them “die” on an equalitarian basis (over)
I think their deaths should all be either together at a party or be done separate at the same time. I would suggest that most of our seniors be brought here right away & the ones left back be prepared for what ever may happen. I myself would be more than willing to go back & mingle with the motherfuckers & use my ability to deceive son of a bitches like them & when most of our people are here to set out explosives, use a machine gun in a passing car, use a silenced gun while opening their door to their final moment of entering their chamber of selfishness, greed & no concern for their fellow man whom they have ate, slept & shit with over a period of years, no more concern than to have them gunned down in cold blood. It’s people like these son of a bitches who have her in the grave today. She had been restng in her chair and when her eyes opened, she asked “Why are they doing this to us?” I shall never forget, because I could not really answer her. I think it’s time out for us asking questions. I think it’s time they start asking us some questions. I think it’s time they know what it really feels like or better still not what it feels like because they can’t feel, but what the “consequences are” for sell outs & finks like [cut off]m to the Fascist system. (DEATH!)
To: Jim Jones
From: Marylou Clancey
Re: Questions asked in Security Meeting Fri. 7/4/78
(1) What would be my reaction if you were to suddenly be assassinated or die.
My gut immediate response is “revenge“. Revenge firstmost those immediately responsible for your assassination/death. Then to avenge all of those who attempted to crush Peoples Temple i.e. Grace & Tim Stoen, Mertles, L. Swaney, J. Cobb on & on. This would have to be done under the direct instructions of a leadership group or person for effectiveness of plot. These “avenging acts” it seems would lead [crossout] inevitably to a total confrontation involving our whole family. However, I can visualize the possibility of a vangaurd [vanguard] group doing these necessary tasks “underground” and still secure Jonetown. The continuation of Jonestown would be the hard part. Because it has been yourtotal committment [commitment], and strategies that have kept our organization going in a positive strain. Every day I become more thoroughly convinced and disgusted of the total shallowness and self-centeredness of the human race (myself included). This realization increases my respect for you and your untiring efforts to help a degenerate human race. I know myself that I could do my best to maintain under a new (designated by you) leadership – and continue to aid the work by following the principles and guidelines you have so carefully & thoroughly set. If this would be the collective decision, I would help. This may mean “putting under the gun”
many so-called followers who could not maintain. So be it. This cause is the vanguard and most solid functioning union of communism in existence. It has come to far to go down toosoon. If it dues [does] it must be a shout heard world round. Shit – there is nothing worth living for. the grip of imperialism & facism (CIA-ODESSA) is so enmeshed in the world. There is only the battle to further the progress in the development Of the Communist 3rd world. Jonestown – by mere existence – has aided the battle. Today, tomorrow, 20 yrs from now – you: we, have not failed.
My Fears: Dying? No. My first confrontation w/death was the P.C. experience in S.F. last year. I was not sad or regretful. 2nd time – 1st crisis in Jonestown. I saw the tears in your eyes and Jimmy’s eyes and I knew the end was near. I was afraid, but anxious for the fight.
I get nervous sometimes when I am in a situation w/John & Kimo such as the other night when we were at the house alone, and the lights went out. After comforting them I quickly grabbed for a gun. It was a reaction mixed w/fear for their safety.
Torture: After reading “The Question” I am more confident with my capability to withstand torture. It gave me good insight. I can’t say I wouldn’t be apprehensive of pain – but afraid [illegible] die – NO.